Brothers by Blood (Alec Lightwood twin)

Chapter 3

*Back at the Institute*

ALEC'S POV

I was currently lying on my back on my bed, alone in my room, thinking. I know, bad idea in my current state, but I didn't care. Everyone in the Institute, apart from Clary, Izzy, Lydia, Simon, Luke, Jocelyn, and I, are treating Jace like a traitor. Aldertree has made sure of that. No one can understand how I am feeling though. No one will ever understand unless they actually have or have had a parabatai.  Parabatai are not supposed to be separated.   It feels like a part of me is missing.  It's horrible when I feel the pain that he is in, but what is worse is that, most of the time, I can't even feel him at all through the bond at all. I have always been a short-tempered person, but after everything going on, especially Jace, my temper has gotten a thousand times worse, and no one likes to be on the receiving end of it. I need him. I can't live without him.  Simple as that.  The only one who can keep my outbursts under control at the moment is Magnus.  I sneak out to see him all the time, even when the Institute is under lockdown. His ever-calming tone, his calming actions, his loving nature towards me, and the fact that he understand that I don't mean it when I get mad at him. He understands that my anger is not directed towards him, it is due to the fact that I am slowly dying inside due to the separation from Jace, how people back at the Institute are treating him, as well as many other things.
Another fact to add on that everyone seems to keep forgetting is that Ben is missing as well. My twin brother has been missing for over a month and no one has even bothered to look for him, but Jace goes with Valentine to protect his friends and BAM! He's a traitor! We have to find him! My twin is missing and pretty much no one cares, my parabatai and I are separated, I can't feel him most of the time, and he's being treated like a traitor, and everyone is expecting me to be ok with that? NO! I will never be ok with that!
"Alec?" I heard a voice ask. I looked towards my door and saw that it was Isabelle.
"Hey Izzy." I said sadly, not really looking at her. I sat up on my bed though.
"Can I come in?" She asked kindly, standing at the door, making sure she wasn't overstepping her boundaries or getting me angry. I said Magnus was the only person who understood that my anger was not directed towards them, but towards the situation that I was in. But I lied. Izzy knew this as well, more so than pretty much anyone besides Magnus. I simply nodded. She walked over at sat next to me.
"I'm sorry about all this, Alec. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling." She said calmly, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"No one really does. Not even Magnus." I said offhandedly.
"Tell me how you feel. I am the closest person you have to understanding what you're going through, as he's my brother as well. Plus, it would be very beneficial for you to get it off your chest." She encouraged me.
"Are you sure? I might start yelling and getting angry and I don't want to put you through that." I warned her. She got up and walked over to the door, not saying a word. I thought she was going to walk out, but then she did something unexpected. She closed the door, locked it, and then drew a soundless rune on the door so we would not be overheard. She then walked over and sat down next to me. She smiled up at me.
"Speak. You need to." Was all she said before I took a deep breath and started ranting.
"First off, I am sorry for the outburst I had earlier today. Neither you nor Magnus deserved it." I apologized to her. She shook her head.
"It's alright. I forgive you, I always will. I understand why you snapped." She replied.
"Everyone in the Institute, apart from a few people, including you and I, are treating Jace like a traitor. There is even a "Wanted: Alive or Dead" warrant on his head. No one can understand how I am feeling. No one will ever understand unless they actually have a parabatai. It feels like a part of me is missing. What's worse is that most of the time, I can't even feel him through the bond, and the few times I have, he has been in pain. I know have always been a short-tempered person, but after everything going on at the moment, my temper has gotten a thousand times worse, and you know that no one likes to be on the receiving end of it." I said. She was looking at me intently, not interrupting for a second. "The only ones who can keep it under control at the moment are Magnus, and you. I sneak out to see him all the time, even though the Institute is under lockdown. You both understand that my anger is not directed towards you, it is due to the fact that I am slowly dying inside due to the separation from Jace and how people back at the Institute are treating him. Another contributing factor is that everyone seems to keep forgetting that Ben is missing as well. My twin brother has been missing for over a month and no one has even bothered to look for him!  My twin is missing and pretty much no one cares, my parabatai and I are separated, I can't even feel him most of the time, and he's being treated like a traitor, and everyone is expecting me to be ok with that?" I added. I realised I was yelling by the end of it, and then I did something that I haven't done for a very, very, long time, and only ever Jace, Ben, or Izzy. I cried. Izzy wrapped her arms around me and held me as I sobbed. She didn't say anything, as she knew no words were needed, and nothing she could say would help, so she just rubbed my back in a comforting way as I cried.

ISABELLE'S POV

I knew that Alec had suffered the most out of all of us. He was such a strong man, but he has lost his twin and his parabatai, as well as being shunned by the Clave for both his sexuality and relationship. I honestly feel so bad for him. All he has been is loyal to the Clave, and they have treated him horribly for his loyalty. Once Alec had calmed down and pulled away, I looked at him kindly.
"Do you feel better?"  I asked softly, hoping the answer was yes.
"A little, but I won't truly feel better until I have both our brothers back."  He replied.  "Thank you for this Izzy."  He added, looking at me, his eyes still bloodshot from crying. I smiled at him.
"It's alright. We will find both of them, and we will clear Jace's name. I promise."  I replied with a smile. I then caressed his cheek, making him look me in the eyes. "Remember, you always have people here who care about you, even though Jace and Ben are not here."  I said.  He smiled at me, something he hasn't done since before Jace disappeared.