I Really Messed Up, Guys: A Supernatural Self Harm Fic

Team Free Casey

Casey shook her head quickly. Out of everybody she knew, Castiel was easily the last person, well, being she wanted to find out about this. It was tempting, but she knew the angel wouldn't be able to understand and she didn't want to sit through attempting to explain to him how something that hurt so bad somehow made her feel better. She already couldn't understand it herself. Making Dean get it was going to be a feat in and of itself, she didn't need to add Cas to the list. "I'd rather just do this," she mumbled.

Dean squeezed her knee again. "Sounds good, kid." He regarded her with a face full of pride before looking up at his brother. "Sammy?" He stuck his hand out and Sam returned the whiskey back to him. Dean unscrewed the cap with his same hand and took a long swig. It was about to be a long night, there was nothing saying he couldn't catch a little buzz along with it.

Sam sat on the toilet in front of Casey, trying to hide the needle as much as possible.

He smiled softly at her. "Can I see your arm, please?" He held out his hand and waited for her. Casey's eyes grew wide and she shot an alarmed look at Dean, who was busy placing the open bottle at Sam's feet.

"It'll be okay, kiddo," he assured her and kissed the side of her head, a gesture that seemed to be happening a lot lately. She didn't look convinced.

"We're only doing this because we don't want things to get out of hand," Sam added. "We love you a lot, Case, and we don't want you hurting more than you already are." Casey looked down at his large palm, politely waiting for her's to join. It didn't look so menacing attached to her brother, it was the contents of his other hand that made her squirm. She looked back up a Sam and Sam smiled, when she looked back at Dean he gave the same look. They were her brothers. No matter how much this was going to suck, they would never hurt her intentionally. She sent a silent prayer up to whoever and set her hand in Sam's, her fingers shaking gently. Sam beamed at her. "Thanks, sweetie." He placed her hand on his knee, picked up the whiskey, and took a deep breath. "Ready, Case?" She bit her lip and nodded. She squeezed Dean's knee tightly, digging her nails into his leg, although he didn't seem to mind. Sam took a slow breath and held it while he turned over her arm and poured a generous amount over his little sister's arm.

She gasped and yanked her hand back. "What the fuck, Sam?" She clutched her arm to her chest, hoping the burning would go away. She knew it was going to hurt but she didn't think he was about to light her arm on fire like that. "Ow, Sam. Ow, big time ow." Dean moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders. Partially to comfort her, but also to help Sam out too.

"Okay, I know that hurts really bad, but I just gotta hit it one more time, Case," Sam pleaded.

"Hell no, Sam. Hell no. You are not doing that again." Casey clutched her arm and glared at her brother. How could he even expect her to say yes to that? Calling Castiel was beginning to sound more attractive to her.

It was Dean who spoke next. "Hey. You gotta get that cleaned out. Sam's just doing it the easiest way possible. Just another splash, kiddo. Probably not even a full shot." She looked up at her oldest brother, reading the sincerity in his eyes. "Will you just let us fix this? Please?" Casey bit her lip and placed her hand back on Sam's lap.

"Can you please just go fast?" Sam nodded. Casey pinched her eyes shut and prepared for the worst. She wasn't surprised with the next flash of pain, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. She pushed her face into Dean's shoulder and groaned. He hadn't lied though, Sam couldn't have poured for more than a second before screwing the top back on again.

He let out a breath. "You did really well, Casey. Thank you."

Casey didn't uncover her face before mumbling, "Just go, please." She pushed her arm adamantly toward Sam, urging him on. She knew that if they took a break she would never gain her momentum back, he would also need to sterilize her when they started again. The faster they started the faster they'd be done.