Truths, Tigers and Seals

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Normani POV

I hadn't really registered that Lauren, Camila, and Ally had disappeared into the crowd. I just stood there holding Dinah who had her arms wrapped around my waist, we just held each other, my face buried in her neck and the feel of her tears falling onto my skin. I was crying too and Dinah knew that, her hold on me tightening just enough for me to feel safe. Everything around us was moving, but we didn't budge. My mind going over every detail of every word Dinah had said to me, every syllable of her confession and as it replayed in my mind, all the anger I had felt disappeared.

Dinah was the first to break contact, her arms falling to her side as she stepped back, "I'm sorry for everything." She apologized and I just shook my head telling her to stop. I didn't want or need the apology, but I did need to talk about it. Really talk about it, not just yell our feelings at each other in anger and confusion.

"Can we talk?" I asked her, holding out my hand for her to take. As soon as I felt her fingers wrap around mine I led her to a more secured area and sat down in the grass, Dinah smoothing out her jumpsuit and doing the same. I shuffled forward so that I was sitting on my knees in front of her, "I am going to talk okay? I need you to just listen," I told her and Dinah nodded as I continued, reaching out my hand and linking our pinky fingers as I spoke. "You just shut me out and that's not okay. We have always had good communication, from the second we met. You and I are best friends, but I wanted more and maybe I became to touchy and that freaked you out and I'm sorry," Dinah opened her mouth to say something but I didn't give her the chance, I had to get this out and it had to happen now. "I don't ever want to feel what I felt today, I don't ever want to have to have to call Lauren out of class again because I'm falling apart in a bathroom stall and I don't ever want you to feel like you have to run from me. I wanted you to talk to me, to look at me, anything, but you gave me nothing and it broke my heart. Dinah you hurt me." I could see the tears in Dinah's eyes, forming on her waterline and reached up to wipe them away. "I don't want you to ever cry because of me. I want you and I want this," I said waving my hand between us. "We can go slow or we can jump head first and not look back or we can figure it out as we go, but I don't want to go back to just being your roommate, because it wasn't working for either of us. I need more, I want more and I know now that you feel the same. You have my heart Dinah, you have for a long time."

I stopped talking, taking a breath and looking down at the small section of grass that was between us and Dinah took it as a chance for her to speak. "I didn't want to run, I didn't want to not talk to you or look at you, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to form words and I was afraid if I looked at you I would fall apart. I was scared, I was scared because I didn't think I could feel like this when it came to girls, but you aren't just any girl. Your touches didn't freak me out, they relaxed me and they made me feel content," Dinah said addressing what I had told her. "But after hearing Camila's song about Lauren I realized exactly why those touches felt so good on my skin and I didn't know you felt the same and it seemed easier to push you away than to have you reject me. I hate that I hurt you and I hate that I made you cry, but you have to know this wasn't easy for me. I didn't just push you away and go on like nothing happened. I was a mess. I showed up at Ally's dorm at four in the morning because I couldn't sleep, your breathing was pounding in my head and I had to get out. I had to think, I had to take time to make sense of it all." Dinah's speech was bringing life to my heart and I just sat there hanging off every word. "I don't know what I want, I don't know if I want slow or fast or what, I just know I want you. I want us, I don't want to go to bed one more night without being able to kiss you, because it's too hard to fall asleep at night wishing that I had." 

I looked at her thoughtfully and laughed, "We're no better than Camila and Lauren," I said pointedly. "Dinah Jane I would love nothing more than to be able to kiss you anytime I want." And just as the last word slipped past my lips, there was a weight. Dinah pushed herself forward and put her hands on either side of my face. This time it wasn't desperate, it was slow and it was sweet and every honest thing we had just said poured out between us in that moment and we held it for as long as we could without having to pull back in order to breathe.

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Dinah POV

I couldn't breath so I pulled back hesitantly, opening my eyes to see a smile forming slowly on Normani's face. "One step at a time," I whispered and she just nodded her head. "One step at a time, but know I want this," I continued. "And if you feel me getting scared, please just remind me of this, remind me how this feels right now."

"I promise," Normani said releasing a deep sigh. "One step at a time is okay with me, I've never done this before either Dinah, you're not alone here," she told me and I smiled because with Normani I never felt alone.

"Come on, I'm sure we have a little time to actually enjoy this carnival together before the girls want to head back," I told her as I pushed myself from the ground and pulled Normani up with me. "Do you wanna go on the teacups?" I asked her and she immediately cracked up and I looked at her curiously causing her to laugh louder as she flew into her story.

"She actually puked?" I exclaimed, joining in on the laughter. "That's actually really funny, I wished I could have seen it."

"I wish I had thought to record it for blackmail purposes later in life," Normani admitted as we began to walk the carnival, my hand securely in hers and I couldn't help but think about how her hand fit mine perfectly.

We walked through the game booths, my eyes searching for the perfect one. "Found it," I said excitedly, cause Normani to look over at me, squinting her eyes and head tilting in confusion. "Ring toss, it's my favourite," I said, clarifying my outburst. I pulled Normani over to the booth and handed my money to the man, taking the rings he provided.

"Get 3 of 5 rings around the bottles and win a small prize or 5 out 5 to win a large prize," the man said, talking to not only me but the other few patrons who were also holding their rings and ready to play. I tossed my first one and to my surprise it fell directly around the neck of the bottle, I did it two more times and on the fourth, I missed. I groaned, disappointed because I had wanted to win Normani the big tiger, I threw my last ring and it landed around the neck of the same bottle the first ring had landed around. "Which one you want?" The man said pointing to the prizes.

I scrunched up my face and mumbled something about wanting the tiger and proceeded to point to a small elephant behind him, "I guess that one." The man working the booth looked at what I had chosen and then to the tiger and reached up, pulling it off its clip and handing it over. "I thought I couldn't win the big one, I only got four out of five," I told him.

"You're the only person tonight who's even gotten close, that's gotta count for something," he said with a laugh before turning to grab a small prize for a little girl sitting on the other side of the booth. 

I hugged the tiger and quickly handed it over to Normani, "For you," I said leaning over and pressing a kiss to the side of her face. Normani didn't say anything other than a giddy thank you, she just grabbed my hand and pulled me around the booths until she found one she was sure she could do. Darts; And I watched on as she popped three balloons in a row and pointed to what looked like a seal, waiting rather impatiently for the man to hand it over.

"And one for you," she said laughing, handing me the plush toy. "There's no way I was gonna let you one up me, on our first sort of date," Normani laughed, the sound I had grown to love stopping short as she looked at me seriously. "Do you think you'd maybe like to go on a date with me on Friday night? Like a real date?"

I watched Normani carefully choosing her words and smiled wide, "I would love that more than anything."

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