Cold air filled with breeze surrounded Dawnstar. I felt free. Like my head was finally clear and my thoughts roamed freely now.
I started walking through snow, away from Dawnstar, down the cold road covered in thick and slipery layer of ice.
In less then two days happened things that easly change my life. This whole week changed my life. On a second thought, my life was always turbulent, constantly changing. I shouldn't be surprised by this. But I am. Because I feel different. I feel stronger somehow. At first, I reffered to them, members of Dark Brotherhood, like they're lunatics. And they are. But they are all together, supporting eachother. They have same goal and equally hard past. My past...I think about it every day. And I always feel the same stinging. I hate to remember my dead family, my second dead family. Everywhere I go I bring death and ruin. I shouldn't be the part of Dark Brotherhood. That was wrong descision. But...What choice did I had? Death? Maybe.
I shook my head trying not to think about something that may not even happen. I cannot be forever followed by unlucky star.
Suddenly, I remember how many questions I have on my mind. How could I forgot about all of this when I was in Sanctuary?
Who wanted me dead? I have to ask that. I am clueless about it. First time in life I have no idea who wants me dead. But he or she is not the first nor the last.
And what about all this story about Dragonborn? Am I Dragonborn at all? Greybeards said the opposite of what was told to me in Whiterun. Then, if that's true...where is Dragonborn now? Is he dead?
One thing is sure. The only one who knows that, is Dark Brotherhood. Morpheus exactly. I doubt he tells his family about the contracts he denied or couldn't acomplish. I am somehow sure that if someone wanted Dragonborn dead, Morpheus would be the one to go kill him. He is the leader and obviously the strongest one. I'll have to ask him. But will he be willing to answer? He seems not talkative to much about himself and his business.
I push that thoughts away. I will wreck my head with them later. Now I have to focus on my contract.
I was ordered to kill a mine worker here in Dawnstar. That should not be too hard. Beitild leads a competitive mine industry. One mine in Dawnstar belongs to her, and the other one to her husband. They fall out. Love doesn't bind them anymore. Only hate. I don't have to guess twice to know who is Dark Brotherhood's contact. But I think it's disgusting. However, an assasin should never bring their heart and emotions in mission. It could ruin whole operation and even the assasin could get killed. I expirienced that. It is not my first time killing someone. I fought in battles. I killed. I was emotionless while doing that. And I was good at it.
I walk quietly around Dawnstar with my hood on. I thought some guards will watch me supsiciously but they seem to mind their own "bussiness". Standing or walking around the city and doing nothing. I walk past the White Hall, Jarl's longhouse and hear two guards talking. One of them is jealous of his cousin fight dragons out there while he gets only a guard duty. Fool.
Soon, I findmyself in front of a mine. Woman with hair black as coil and eyes blue as ice in the Dawnstar yells at her co-workers giving them instructions. No wonder husband left her if she was like this to him.
"What are you looking at, beggar?!"
She shouts at me as soon as she notices me staring at her. I smirk at her. Stil smiling I start to walk away aware of her confused and maybe a bit scared gaze.
"Today is a strange day for mining."
I comment leaving her. I could feel her confused and annoyed stare on my back.
I didn't have to wait long until she entered the mine. None of the workers were outside currently. Looks like most of them went inside with her. I slowly entered the mine, carefuly not to let miners notice me. I moved through the shadows and soon found her.
Beitild stood there, alone. No miners beside her. Perfect. Now let's figure out the perfect way of killing her.
I looked around and noticed a big net that was holding a bunch of rocks. Just beside Beitild was a deep hole. An idea formed in my head.
I walked towards Beitild. Her back was facing me. She still didn't notice me. Not until a walked right behind her, mere centimeters away.
"Boo!"
I said. She turned and jumped loosing the ground below her. She fell into the hole. Her scream echoed through the mine. This will definatley caught miners' attention.
I looked down at her. She was still alive, but it seemed her leg was broken. Her blue eyes met my silver ones. She gave me the look I'll never forget. Terrified. Desperate. And...sad.
I suddenly felt sickness. Like I am about to vomit. My head felt dizzy. But I did not let that to distract me.
I quickly cut the rope which was holding the rocks. Beitild screams once again until her voice is finally muffled with the tones of rocks smashing her.
Maybe I was imagining it, but I heard her bones cracking. I could imagine her ribs turning into a sharp claws. Her legs turning into a mud. I shook my head.
There's no time to waste. I have to run. I could hear worried voices of miners coming just behind the corner. I quickly hid in the shadows and started sneaking towards the exit on the other side of mine. And by only luck, I managed to exit the mine before anyone noticed me.
I looked at white sun that shone together with thick layer of snow. Cold air filled my chest. I felt my chin and nose began to freeze. I pulled my scarf and hood on.
I ran. Fast. No stopping. Every time I closed my eyes. Everytime I blinked, I saw Beitild's face. But why? I killed before. Why? Why? Why? Am I so weak? Do I feel guilt?
After who knows how long run, I finally stop. At first, I don't know where exactly am I, but then I notice an abandoned shack. The area was muddy and full of small ponds. This must be somewhere between Solitude and Morthal, though I don't know if I'm currently in Hjaalmarch.
I breathed heavly. It was already noon. I could see the sun high in the sky. I walked towards the shack and colapsed at the ground, leaning on the wooden wall.
Then I felt my eyes began to water. I felt a small, tiny tear coming down my cheek. I wiped it off quickly, shocked by the fact I could cry.
I hated myself. I always did. I was nothing. I am nothing. What am I doing?
"Rule number one: Never ever look victim in the eyes. Unless you are like Morpheus, Cicero or Sitha. Others in Sanctuary don't have... past like theirs. Well, we all have our demons. But some have devils."
I winced at the deep and raspy voice with accent. I looked at the tree and found Dar'Zirno sitting on it.
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Even my first kill was hard. But you'll get used to it. You must know that what you feel now is not the product of fear and guilt but shock and foregin enjoyment. It will set you free."
I wasn't scared nor I felt guilt. I was just....empty. Was he right? Am I slowly feeding my blood lust? The beast inside me? A killing machine?
"Anyway, Morph sent me to give you the rest of the contracts. But I would like to join you in the hunt. You know, there's been a while since I barked."
