Forbidden

Chapter 50

"I'm visiting my cousin kung okay ba siya," he said. "And I want to ask her out. Is it okay?"

Mariin ko siyang tinitigan. "What for?"

He frowned. "Hindi ba tayo pwedeng mag-usap?"

"You have been talking to me this whole time," I retorted. "Ngayon ka lang magpapaalam?"

"Ang ibig kong sabihin ay pwede ba tayong mag-usap nang masinsin."

"Ano na naman ba ito?" Tinaasan ko siya ng isng kilay.

He looked at me for a sec, trying to figure out what I mean. Not for long, nakuha niya ang ibig kong sabihin.

"I have no hidden objectives. Gusto ko lang isara ang gap na nabuo sa pagitan natin. I want to close the gaps between myself and my cousins. And, I want to start with you."

I don't believe him. What is he planning to do? Parang may nagsasabi sa akin may plano talaga siya. But, his eyes are sincere. I can't read his mind.

"Why don't you start with Czar?" I suggest.

"Let me repeat what I said. I want to close the gap between me and my cousins. Pinsan ko ba si Czar?"

Pinanlisikan ko siya.

"You really are horrible. Kung gusto mo akong iwasan, you should've done that in a better way," he said, quite amused.

"Eh ano kung iniiwasan nga kita?" I looked at him directly in his eyes.

"Come on! Give me a reason kung bakit iniiwasan mo ako. I thought we're cool." He raised his brow.

Ano ito? Nakikipaglokohan naman siya sa akin, ganoon?

"What do you want us to talk about, then?"

"About us?"

"Bakit may problema ba tayo? Wala naman ah! Saka, busy ako ngayon. Makakapaghintay ka naman siguro," I said coldly and went back to work.

Napapikit siya at napahinga ng malalim.

He took my hand and pulled me out of the room. Nabigla ako sa nangyari.

"Red! Red!" Sinubukan kong kumalas pero mas hinigpitan lamang niya ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin.

"Stop being stubborn!" He yelled at me when we were already in the elevator.

"Marami pa akong ginagawa, Red! Ano ba ka importante ang sasabihin mo ha?"

Umigting ang panga niya. "Napaka... Napaka-importante nito, Sky!"

Tumunog ang elevator na hudyan na nasa ground floor na kami. Hinila niya ako papuntang parking lot kung nasaan ang sasakyan niya at itinulak niya ako papasok doon.

He even locked it for me to not have an opportunity to get out.

Umikot siya sa driver's seat.

"Jared, ano ba ang sasabihin mo?!" Angil ko.

He remained silent. His jaw was clenched. Pinaandar niya ang sasakyan at pinaharurot.

"Fuck! Jared, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Driving," he replied.

"Wow! So obvious!" I can't believe this guy. "Alam mo naman siguro ang ibig kong sabihin 'no?"

He didn't bother opening his mouth again.

"Jared, alam mo naman na may trabaho ako. I can't slack off! I was in a leave last month at tambak ang trabaho ko. I can't slack off. Not especially, this time!" I began ranting.

Hindi siya umiimik pero bigla niyang hininto ang sasakyan sa gilid nang kalsada.

"If you want to tell me. Tell me straight. Ano bang gimik ito?! Why do you have to interupt--"

Bigla niya lang dinampi ang labi niya sa labi ko.

Nabigla ako sa ginawa niya kaya naitulak ko siya.

When I pushed him off, wave of regret hit me.

I missed his lips. I miss its warmth and softness. I missed that indescribable feeling I always feel when he would kiss me.

Why do I have to push him away when I could just grab the oppurtunity to be able to feel those warm lips again?

No.

Mali ito! I scolded myself.

"So, wala na talaga?" He looked away. Ipinokus niya ang paningin niya sa labas nang sasakyan.

"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo?" Napakunot ako ng noo.

"Ganoon ka na ba ka slow? Do I really have to say it directly?"

"Malamang." I was suddenly eager to know what he wanted to say.

"Sky, wala na ba? Kahit katiting man lang, wala na ba iyung nararamdaman mo para sa akin?" He asked. His face was sad. It was obvious that he was already anticipating to be hurt.

I breathe heavily.

"Jared, hanggang magpinsan na lang talaga tayo," sabi ko. "Hanggang doon na lang talaga ang pagtingin ko sa iyo."

"Bakit ang dali lang sa iyong makalimot ha?" Tanong niya. Hindi madali believe me!

"Dahil hindi naman talaga pagmamahal ang naramdaman ko sa iyo noon eh. All of it was just immaturity," ani ko.

It wasn't actually.

Dahil kung immaturity iyon sana nawala na ito sa lumipas na mga taon. If this was just because of my immaturity, the feelings I have for him would not have been real.

"Immaturity ba ang tingin mo doon?" He asked.

"Oo. Jared, hanggang ngayon pa rin ba?" I blurted. I am losing my composure. Would he stop this crap?

"Sky, minahal kita. Sinaktan mo ako. Akala mo ba madaling makalimot?" His voice rose.

"Tumigil ka na nga. Magpinsan tayo. Kalimutan mo na iyan! Parang awa mo na!" Kasi ang hirap din naman ng sitwasyon ko. Kung alam niya lang sana kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Nasasaktan rin naman ako dito ah. I still have these feeling for him pero pilit kong pinagkakaila. Dahil mali. Mali!

"Kasasabi ko lang diba? Hindi madaling makalimot." He scoffed.

"Pilitin mo!" Sigaw ko sa kanya. Bwiset! Akala ko ba nakalimot na siya? Why does these things have to happen? Bakit sa lahat ng security agency, sa kay Jared pa sila kumuha? Why does he have to show up? Why do we have to talk about this? Why is it difficult to forget this? Why does life sucks? Why do we have to be cousins? Bakit ba hindi kami pwede?!

"Ang dali lang kasi sa iyong sabihin eh!"

"Look, I broke up with you because I don't have that romantic feelings I have for you, anymore. Ay, hindi pala! Wala talaga akong romantic feelings sa iyo kahit sa simula. I had just misunderstood it as love. My love for you is up until cousins only. You can never go beyond that. So, move on. Move. On!"

There was an eery silence for a while.

"Ibalik mo na ako sa kompanya, please," I said to him.

Napahampas siya sa manibela at pinaharurot ang sasakyan pabalik sa kompanya.

Shit!

👗