The Punk (Jacksepticeye x Reader)

I can't do it...

I could feel Jack's nails dig into the skin of my hips and my heart jumped.

I cannot do this.

I know it's lame that I'm a 17 year old girl who has never been kissed, held or any sort of thing by a boy, but I just can't do it. They are too many flaws on my body that I want to keep to myself.

I closed my eyes tight, then opened them again, ready to tell Jack that I can't follow through. As I took a huge breath of air into my lungs, Jack kissed me and pushed my underwear down my thighs.

My heart pounde harder in my chest and I grabbed Jack's hands. I felt tears welling in my eyes, but I couldn't let Jack see that.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Jack sat up, alert and worried. He leveled his face with my own and looked me in the eyes.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach as Jack's eyes pierced me.

"I-i c-can't do i-it..." I swallowed hard and Jack just kept staring at me. "I-i'm sorry.." I felt the tears rush past my eyes and land on the bed sheets. Jack just kept staring at me.

"S-stop looking a-at me like t-that!" I sobbed. Jack looked down at my body, then back up at my face. He looked at the purple dots he had made with his teeth on my neck and looked back in my eyes.

Jack crawled off of me and pulled my underwear back up my thighs.(I cannot call underwear panties. No. ~ M) He found my sweats that were discarded to the floor and pulled them up my hips. He went into the closet and got his blue hoodie.

He sat me up straight and pulled the hoodie over my head and slipped my arms into the sleeves. He didn't say one word when he did this all. When he was done, he pulled his shirt over his head, looked at me and left the room.

I sat on the bed with a blank expression on my face and I felt the tears come faster and faster.

I'm such a whimp. What 17 year old girl doesn't want this? I love Jack. I do. I'd give him the world. He's my King and I would never ask for a different ruler. I don't understand why I wouldn't let him... I don't understand...

I wiped my eyes with the cuff of Jack's hoodie and got to my feet. From my hips down, I couldn't feel anything, it's numb almost. I wobbled down the stairs, to find Jack sitting in the couch with the T.V. on. Jack's eyes were glued to it and he didn't look up at me.

What Have I Done?

~Jack's POV~ (OMG LOOK! OMG IS THIS HAPPENING!? XD~ M)

How could I do that to her? She didn't ask for it. She never said she wanted it. I just... I want to make Lucky mine. Mine now and forever.

I just want to love her. I want to show her how much I truly love her. I wasn't going to hurt her... I promise! I was never going to hurt her... I mean, it might have pinched her a little, but that would have been it!

I shouldn't have pushed her....

I pulled my hoodie over her head to hide the hickeys I had made on her neck, took one good look at My Lucky Star and walked out of the room. I could hear her cried get louder and I heard her sniffle and whine. I really shouldn't have done that.

I threw myself on the couch and turned on the T.V. I need some mindless activity. I could hear Lucky's feet shuffle across the floor. I didn't dare look up. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I feel awful for doing that to her. Exposing her when she never wanted to be...

"J-jack?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit. I can't do it! I didn't look up at her. I-i can't...

"J-jack, p-please..." Lucky cried.

LUCKY, PLEASE STOP!!

I can't take it! I got off the couch and walked into 'our' bedroom. I looked down at the bed and felt a jolt of guilt rush through me. I grabbed a pillow off of the bed and a blanket. I threw the blanket over my shoulder and walked back out to the living room. Lucky was still standing, just the way I had left her.

I threw my stuff on the couch and laid it out, crawling under the blanket.

I wanted to crawl into my own skin and disappear. I feel like a total asshat.

Lucky stood there for a few more minutes, covered her face with the sleeve of my hoodie and walked back to our room. I could hear her little cries as she slowly fell asleep.

The guilt really started to consume me... Tomorrow we have to go back to school...

What Am I Going To Do?

-The Next Morning-
~Lucky's POV~

I pulled the sheets closer to my chest, running my fingers across Jack's side, searching for his heat.

I can't find it. I sat up and rubbed the heel of my hand into my eye and looked at the bed. Jack's things were gone and memories of last night hit me hard in the chest.

Oh, shit.

I threw the sheets off of my legs and raced into the living room. I found a note on Jack's pillow, reading it as fast as I could, so I could find him.

Dearest Lucky,

I had Mark and Ki pick me up to take me to school. I will see you soon. I am sorry... Please forgive me. I did a few things that were completely idiotic, even after you had gone to sleep... I am sorry.
See ya. (I hate when I tell people I love them and they say 'Whatever', 'See ya' or 'Bye'. It kills me on the inside... ~ M)

Sincerly, Sean

I felt my heart shrink a little.

What did he do?
Was it bad?
Why did he do it?
Why didn't he say he loved me?...

I looked down at my clothes and raced to the bedroom. I threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and put a bra on underneath Jack's hoodie. I put my hair up in a bun and brushed my teeth. I grabbed my phone and keys, racing to my car.

I tried calling Jack, but all I got was his voicemail.

This is TERRIFYING me.

I pulled up to the school and looked for Mark's red car. In the corner of my eye, it's parked in the Senior lot, just like mine. I pushed open my car door and slammed it shut, getting weird looks from people.

Just like normal...

I ran through the halls, looking for just a clue that Jack was here. I hit his locker open and things were missing, so he was here. I sprinted toward the MPR to hear Jack's sweet laugh.

Oh, his sweet,sweet laugh.

I peaked through the window, standing on my tip-toes.

My. Heart. Shattered.

Jack had his arm tightly around Jay's waist, smiling down at her...

N-no.
No.
No.

I put my hand over my mouth and felt the tears come all at once. Hard.

I ran back to my car and drove to my own house. Not Jack's.

I opened the door and closed it quickly behind me.

I don't want to be seen.
I don't want to be heard.
I don't want anything...

I never deserved it, anyways...

I never deserved his generousity, or his love... His time...
I never deserved his laughter and smile.
His sweet kisses and large hugs...

Right now, I deserve a Broken Heart.

Okay! LUCKY I AM SO SORRY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I literally cried writing this and I am sorry that it wasn't up yesterday, when the story actually hit 25K!!!! THANK YOU GUYS!!! I LOVE YOU! Yesterday was an important day for me, and I really I couldn't miss it. I'm terribly sorry that this wasn't up right away, but it's here now!

Okay, love you guys!! Ahhhh, thank you! Buh~Bye! ~ Madi