My popular secret

Chapter 13 - She thinks im dying

That day was just so horrible.
I lasted half an hour at school, then rang my mum to come pick me up again.

That was a week ago. And I've refused to go back in to college.
I haven't spoke to Ella since.
Everyone probably knows now. My secret I bet is revealed.

But I didn't tell my mum that was the reason for not going back, I just said it was because I felt too ill.
Which she happily accepted. I've been spending a good quality amount of time with my family.

I'm meant to have exams at the end of this year, the last week before we break up for Christmas. But the school understands why I can't attend.
They're just not so sure I'm going to be able to complete the year. I might end up not going back in at all because I've missed so much.

I don't want that to happen, I feel like if I did I would just rot at home.
But I'm just going to see how things go. And maybe go back to college after Christmas even if I know I won't pass any of my final exams in the summer.

Today I'm just sitting at home in a blanket, watching my favourite Programmes on the sofa with my sister and best friend Christina.

my phone suddenly starts buzzing, and I look over and to my surprise it is Ella calling.
I'm hesitant at first, but it must be important for her to ring me after our fight.
I can't hide away anymore.

"Hello?" I say slowly.
"Oh gosh Bella I'm so glad you picked up."
"Why is something wrong?"
"Yes! Yes there is!" She says almost shouting and like she's been in tears.
"Well tell me then!"
"I miss you Bella!"
"Wait... what?"
"I miss you around college. I just feel so awful about the way I reacted to you telling me your awful secret."
"Er... well..."
"I shouldn't have said the things that I did. And I'm so so so sorry Bella. I want to help you... I... I will do anything... please, will you ever be able to forgive me?"
There's a moment where I pause to hesitate.
She seems genuine. And I could use another friend right now.
"Ella... just, calm down alright. Things are going to be okay."
"Oh Thankyou Bella, please just, tell me what's going on. I... I need to know you're going to be alright."
"Well... I can't tell you I'm going to be fine. But I can tell you a bit more about what's going on."

I told her I didn't want to say it over the phone.
It's just too much. Too much to say and too much for her to handle.

She comes over later that morning, and I tell her everything.
She didn't react in any unexpected way.

She was shocked. Upset. And quite angry... but I too,  am angry at myself. For keeping it a secret all these years.
Now having the support of a friend, makes me feel so much more relaxed about everything.
If it wasn't for Caleb, none of this would have ever probabaly happened.
I hope he's alright, I haven't talked to him since I shouted at him in the corridor in college.

I don't blame him if he doesn't want to be friends again. But if I'm honest, I kind of enjoyed having someone to talk to about the whole situation. I've never had anyone to relate to when I'm going through the most difficult of times.
Sure I've made friends whilst at the hosptial. But they've all passed.
Sure I had my family. But they don't know the true pain of what's going on in my body.

--

It's now coming up to Christmas, and there's only one week left of college. My parents have begged me to stay at home to recover, but I know if I don't do this last week then I'll probably never go back. And on the plus side, I now have two people to look out for me at college, I used this to help persuade my parents.
They eventually said I could go, not that I gave them much choice. But Ella is going to drive me there, something I haven't let anyone do in a while.