My stepbrother and I

[chapter 31]

New day. New choices. New events. New Life.

Yesterday we didn't go out in the end. Nick just pulled out his laptop and we saw a movie. What movie? Well we watched Harry Potter. Even though we have already watched it. Which one? We watched all of them. And then we slept.

And I just now woke up. Nick is still asleep beside me but I don't want to wake him up just yet. Though I'll have to because its eleven thirty and I guess Kevin will be here in any minute.

I get out of the comfort of the mattress and I immediately miss the warmth it provided. I want to go back to sleep. I can do that right after I speak with Kevin. Right. I'll do just that. Okay now I'm rambling inside of my head. If that's even possible. But when it comes to me and thinking pretty much anything is possible.

I go straight to the bathroom because I seriously need to pee. I do just, wash my hands and then I take a look in the mirror in front of me.

I look like crap. Black rings cover the place under my eyes and the lack of sleep and the tiredness are evident in my face and my body stance. Remind me why am I an idiot and I wanted to watch all the Harry Potter movies at once? Because what I got about of this is only three hours of sleep and an extreme exhaustion.

I get out of the bathroom after I comb my hair in order to make myself more presentable. But I still look like crap. I'm gonna stay in the comfort of my pajamas. After all he has seen me in my pajamas before so that won't be a problem.

However Nick might be a complication. He is still asleep and I should probably wake him up because if Kevin comes then I don't know how he will react. Although I can explain but I don't want to complicate things more. So I make my way towards the mattress and bend on my knees.

"Nick wake up." I shake him.

"Hsjdidjskdn" he mumbles.

What the actual fuck? I wanna burst out laughing right now. He sounds like an idiot.

"Wake up cherry pie. Kevin will be here soon."

"Don't care." He brushes my hand off his shoulder.

"Oh please."I beg.

"Nope I'll stay put." He insists.

"I'll buy you cookies if you wake up." I offer and he opens one eye.

"Nope. Still not good enough." He tells me and closes his eye again.

"Oh come on." I say.

He fakes a snore as in to pretend that he is sleeping again and I slap his forehead hard.

"Hey what was that for?" He is full awake now.

"You wouldn't wake up otherwise my sweet cherry pie." I say.

"What's with that nickname idiot?" 

"I don't know I just like calling you that way." I shrug.

There's a light know on the door that interrupts out conversation. That must be Kevin. I walk to the door and open it. When he sees me he smiles at me and rakes his eyes down my body.

"Tired much?" He asks.

"Yup." I say and motion for him to come in. His smile falls immediately when he notices Nick.

"Hey. That's Nick my best friend. He came from Greece. Nick this is Kevin." I introduce them and Nick comes to us in order to shake Kevin's hand.

The smile reappears in Kevin's face and I am glad that there will be no misunderstanding.

"Nice to meet you." Kevin says.

"You too." Nick replies with a small smile.

"Well I'll leave you two be, and I'll go for a walk." He adds.

"Ok." I say and hug him.

He has already changed in a pair of gray gym shorts and a white  t-shirt.

"I'm going for a run. You'd better have cooked lunch when I come back." He says.

"Or else?" I tease.

"I'll kill you and that's a threat." He says seriously.

After that he exits the hut and leaves me alone with Kevin.

"You two seem close." Kevin says.

"We are. I met him when I went in Greece. He knows everything about me. I don't know but from the first time I saw him I knew I could trust him. And I did. He is very supportive. He has always been there for me since I met him and I love him for that." I tell him with a smile.

"That's good. I am happy that you found a friend whom you can rely on to." He says sincerely.

"Well, thanks." I smile.

"Hmm..now..what..about us I mean...we should come to a conclusion right?" He says and looks down on the floor.

When did he become so shy. I remembered him as a cocky boy. Where did that boy go?

"I guess we could try again." I shrug.

"I promise that everything will be fine this time. I won't make the same mistakes. I still care about you and I still love you." He declares.

Here's the thing though. He says that he won't make the same mistake. But what if this time I'll be the one to make a dreadful mistake? What if I can't completely give my all to him again? What if..?

This is a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't tell him that we should be together again. Maybe that's all a mistake.

Oh fuck it. I'll give it a try because if I don't I'll still sulk about the fact that I can't have Patrick. About the fact that Patrick doesn't love me enough to forget about Nicole. And even the thought of this pains me to the core. Like someone is stabbing me over and over again.

The thought that he doesn't care about me as much as I do about him makes me sick. Makes me wanna cry till my eyes have no more tears to shed.

But I should move on. I should give him want he wants. I should leave him alone and let him be with her while I also try to move on with my life. Or what's left of it.

"I hope you are right."

"What happened to us Kev?" I ask.

"I don't know. Ι was an idiot. That day I drank way too much and I didn't know what I was doing. And I know that doesn't make it okay but I don't know. I felt that I wasn't good enough. When you told me about you having kissed another guy I lost it but then you said it meant nothing. But I still didn't feel secure. I saw how he looked at you. And I felt that I wasn't enough for you and I was angry. I know I'm an idiot but I was angry. Way too angry. I didn't show it of course but I did something worse. I cheated on you as well. With that whore. I regret it now but I can't change a thing. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from doing what I did." He confesses.

Somehow while he was confessing I moved closer to him and now we were sat on the mattress almost no distance between us.

"You were more than enough for me Kevin. I loved you but things are complicated now. You hurt me so much. So so much. I'm sorry if I pushed you away but that was not my intention. It was a hard time for me Kev. And you knew it." I tell him.

"I know and I'm so sorry." He says and wraps an arm around me but I don't push him away. Instead I lean on his shoulder.

"We will be okay, Ellie." He assures me.

"We will." I say.

"So, will you be my girlfriend again?" He asks and I lift my head to look at him.

"I will." I say and then he presses his lips against mine in a soft move. The kiss is delicate. No tongue. Just a soft kiss.

But right know I don't know if I feel anything through this kiss.