My stepbrother and I

[chapter 23]

No I don't think I love her. No I don't think I love her. No I don't think I love her. No I don't think I love her.

The words keep repeating in my head and they drive me crazy. I'm already home. I had a quick shower and now I am laying on my bed desperately trying to sleep. But I can't. I am thinking of what happened just a couple of hours ago.

He hasn't returned yet and that worries me. Probably he regretted what happened and now he went at Nicole's to stay for the night.

I don't want to think of them in an intimate moment like the ones we have shared.

I shut my eyes and put a pillow on my face. I'm so whipped. Fuck my life. And Patrick.

No.

No.

Don't fuck Patrick. He is mine.

Oh fuck. I'm losing my mind. I have to get my shit together. I need to speak with Nick. Now.

I jump off my bed and get out of the room. I walk down the hall and when I reach the door to the guest room I contemplate whether I should wake him up or not.

I decide to open the door. I need him. I enter the room to see Nick sleeping peacefully. I walk towards the bed and kneel down. I shake his arm but he doesn't move. I shake him with more force and he jerks his hand away. He mumbles something incoherent and I speak.

"Nick wake up please."

"Uhm." He mumbles.

"Nick." I whisper-yell in his ear and he opens his eyes.

"What now, Ellie? What?" He is in a sitting position now.

I motion for him to make space beside him on the bed and when he does I sit next to him.

"We kissed." I state.

"What?" He is shocked.

"You heard me." I say.

"No you will tell me everything." He orders.

And I do as I am said. I tell him what happened in the park. When I finish he is gaping at me. He blinks his eyes and tries to comprehend what I just told him.

"He loves YOU. Not her." He concludes.

"That's just bullshit Nick. He doesn't love me."

"OK maybe not 'love' but he seriously likes you. A lot."

I think about his words and even though I would love to believe them something stops me. If he likes me then why is he with Nicole.

Because you where in Greece for so long and he moved on. The voice in my head explains.

True.

It's normal that he would move on. If I were him I would have done the same.

But now I am here. And he is still with Nicole.

"Don't tell me that you believe that just because you came back he would dump his girlfriend." Nick says. What the fuck? Is he reading my mind?

"Uhm, of course not. That would be stupid. Totally stupid." I say as a matter of fact. But I know he doesn't believe me.