My stepbrother and I

[chapter 24]

I walk down the road to Eddie's house. I see the familiar door and I walk towards it. Before I have the chance to ring the bell the door opens to reaveal Eddie. I freeze.

He doesn'tnotice me. He has two rubbish bags, one in each of his hands. I'm guessing he came out to throw them away?

Sarcasm is going to kill me one day. I know it.

I clear my throat so as to get his attention. He turns his head and faces me. Instantly the bags fall from his hands and he quickly starts mumbling incoherent things and fumbles to get the bags again and throw them to the bin. His original intention.

When he throws them away he turns his attention to me again.

"Ellie."

"Eddie." I nod.

He motions for me to follow him into his house and I do. I walk towards the sofa and he aims for the armchair that sits to the exact opposite and far away from the sofa I am sitting on. What have I done? Why is he avoiding me?

"Oh no Eddie. Sit here." I say and pat the spot beside me on the sofa.

He comes and sits beside me. I position my body so as to be able to face him.

"How have you been Eddie?" I ask.

"Uhm...fine I guess?"

"I can tell that this is not true. Do you want to speak to me? What's bothering you?" I ask him.

"That would be awkward because it's you that is bothering me." He confesses.

"Oh right. I get it. It has been difficult for me as well." I tell him.

"You were in Greece."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean that I forgot about the shit that happened here. I am sorry if I said hurtful things to you. But please try to understand. My world came crushing down when I read my mother's letter." I say.

"Yeah I know. But that applies for me as well Ellie. All I wanted was to have a relationship with my daughter. But I don't think that this is something you want."

"I..." I try to say something but he cuts me off.

"All I wanted is to have my daughter call me dad. You know I have no one else in the world. After your mother's death you were the only person I had close to family. And know that I know you actually are my family I would give anything just to hear you call me dad. 'Eddie' sounds so foreign coming out of your mouth now that I know you are my daughter. You are my only child Ellie."

"I...I....I...I don't know what to say. I know how you feel but please try to understand. I want a relationship with you yes but I don't think I can start calling you dad out of the blue. Like nothing happened. I grew up with someone else as a father figure. I...he is my dad. I don't think I can just skip that. And you are young. You can find someone to love and build a family with. You'll have other children as well." I try to explain.

"You don't get it, do you? I don't want to find someone else. The only person I truly loved and still love is your mother. I don't want other children. You think that everything is so simple but no. No Ellie."

"Sorry if I hurt you." I look down.

"No. Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. You told me how you feel and I told you how I feel. That's the end of it."

He gets up from the sofa and I get that as my queue to leave. He is hurting inside I know it. That's why he wants me to leave. He doesn't want me to see him vulnerable.

I get up as well.

"Don't get me wrong but I have an appointment for a tattoo. Someone is coming here soon enough and I have to clean the room." He says.

That's a cheap excuse. Eddie always allowed me to stay with him and watch him doing his job. But now he just wants me to leave and he would do anything for it.

"Okay I'll leave. But please Eddie, maybe I can't call you dad but please don't push me away. I want back the relationship we had. Think of it please.'' I say and walk towards him. I kiss his cheek and make my way to the door. I glance at him one more time and then exit the house.

I walk back to mine and the whole road to the house the only thing I can think of is Eddie and the conversation we just had.

What am I going to do?

I arrive at the house and I open the door with my keys. The first thing I see is Nicole in her apron in the kitchen cooking. Her blonde hair pushed back from her face in a tight ponytail. He hums along to the tune blasting from the radio.

A familiar tune. I think the song is "Born to be my baby." By Bon Jovi. I've been listening to them while I was in the fifth grade.

"Hello Nicole." I greet her.

"Hey Ellie." She smiles at me when I enter the kitchen.

I wish she wasn't so friendly. But she is and I can't be bad to her.

'But you can make her life a little bit difficult when we comes here.' The voice inside my head says.

"Just a little bit" I say to myself.

"Did you say something Ellie?" Nicole asks.

"No." I say sternly.

"Do you mind me shutting off the radio? I have a terrible headache.". I tell her.

She looks down as if I hurt her with my tone and she nods before speaking.

"Of course. Sorry." She apologizes. Oh god I already feel terrible. She is so good to me and I just pretended to have a headache just to turn her music off.

What is wrong with me?

"Thank you. Are you alone?" I ask.

"Yeah. Anne and Richard are at work and Patrick just left minutes before you came. He had to do something. My baby is always so busy." She says and shakes her head.

Her baby.

Baby.

Her.

Baby.

Hers.

Her baby.

I'm being delirious again. Why does it bother me so fucking much that she just called Patrick her baby? He is hers after all right?

"Oh, okay. What about Nick? Have you seen him?" I ask.

"Your friend Nick?"

Is she stupid?

"Yeah." I reply.

"Right. Yeah. No, I haven't seen him. He went out when he woke up and he hasn't returned yet."

"I can see that." I say a little bit harshly and she once again looks on the floor.

Oh shit.

As I am about to apologize for my tone, the door opens and Patrick comes in. He walks into the kitchen and when he sees Nicole looking down he furrows his brows. He tilts her chin and I notice a single rear running down her cheek.

Is she serious? I didn't do anything to her. She is overreacting.

"What happened here?" Patrick asks and he turns to me.

Now I have to explain myself.

How do I tell him that I spoke harshly to his girlfriend for no apparent reason?