Love Exists {BxB}

Chapter 30

Rocco's POV

Jak ended up finding out about my relapse a couple days after during a careless makeout session where he had taken off my shirt and seen my wrists.
He didn't get mad at me, he just held me for hours, making sure that I was okay and that I wouldn't do it again and that next time I wanted to, to wake him up. He then swore that he would kill anyone who ever laid a finger on me ever again.

It's a Monday morning and I don't want to go to school but I know I have to. I can't miss too much more school.
Plus I want to see Jak, Trinity and Seth again. 
I quickly change into a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose long sleeved shirt (both courtesy of Trinity's Hot Topic gift cards). I slip on my vans and toss a black beanie over my dark hair.
I hear Jak honk from outside and I hurry out the door making sure I have my phone.
Jak kisses my cheek the moment I slide into the passenger seat.
"Hey." I say smiling.
"You seem to be in a good mood." Jak states starting to drive to school.
"Yep." I say popping the 'p'.
He smiles at me then focuses back onto the road.
Little did I know, the day would soon be turning from great to awful to somehow even worse.

It's free period and I just told Jak that I was going to go to the bathroom.
I'm leaving the bathroom when I see 2 familiar figures walking up to me.
"Long time no see." Dylan says with a small heartless laugh.
"I missed our chats." Mitchell says.
"Leave me alone." I retort.
"But didn't you miss us?" Dylan says with a fake pout.
I shake my head taking a timid step back.
"How rude. Guess we better teach him a lesson for being so mean."
They get closer to me. Dylan swings and his fist collides with the side of my face.
They laugh when I collapse to the ground from the force and pain.
"L-leave me a-alone." I stutter tears filling my eyes.
They just continue laughing coldly.
Through my blurry vision I see Mitchell take another step closer to my kneeling position. A foot hits my side making me crumple onto the cold ground.
They continue kicking me in the ribs, shins, stomach, arms, and face occasionally, throwing insults and laughing as though it's a joke.
My entire life is probably a joke to them.
Mitchell suddenly grabs my elbows and forces me to my feet.
My knees are shaking too badly to actually stand straight so he just holds me up.
Dylan's fist is coming towards my already bruising face and I flinch but the pain never comes.
I'm dropped onto the ground and I barely save myself from breaking my nose.
I look up quickly to see a ginger punching Mitchell in the nose.
"If you ever lay a finger on him again I will beat your f**king a*ses, understand?" Jak says threateningly.
They both nod quickly before scampering away.
"Are you okay?" He asks quickly kneeling down beside me.
I sit up, groaning and putting my hands on my temples.
It feels like I'm having a massive hangover.
"I'm sorry I didn't come quick enough."
"Well you did and that's what counts." I mumble. Jak wipes away my excess tears and kisses me for a second.
"I love you." I mumble leaning my head against his shoulder.
"I love you too, sweetheart."

"-magnesium... Blah blah blah.. Big words... Smart stuff... Something else.. Blah blah blah.. Other stuff I don't care about." That's all I could hear from the science teachers mouth.
I'm not good at science and I don't really care about it either.
I spend this class daydreaming about my favorite ginger.
His perfect blue eyes, his cute nose, his perfectly shaped lips, his strong arms, his warm chest.. I stop my thoughts not wanting to start thinking about anything lower on his body.
"Are you even paying attention?" Seth whispers.
"Nope. You?"
"Kind of. Something about chemical imbalance. And we have homework."
"Oh great." I sigh.
How when Jak wears sweatpants and no shirt I can see his v-line..
Stop it!
"Do you understand any of this?" Seth asks waving a paper in my face.
I study it then shrug.
It looks like a page with random letters, numbers, symbols and other doodles that I can't understand.

I love the way that me and Jak seem to fit together like a puzzle.
Our hands, our lips..
Even when he hugs me, we fit together perfectly.
I think I'm falling way too fast for this boy but how can I not? He's just so perfect.

The bell rings shaking me out of my thoughts.
Me and Seth walk out of class and meet up with Trinity.
"Where's Jak?" I ask.
"I don't know. He left class before me.." Trinity answers
"I'm going to go look for him." I say.
"Be safe. Don't let Dylan or Mitchell give you any trouble. Any sign of Matty or your dad and you run to the cafeteria and find us immediately. Don't do drugs. Stay on school property-"
"I'll be fine, Trin. Bye!" I call walking the opposite direction.
"Bye!" They both reply.

I've checked pretty much everywhere I can think of for Jak.
Now I'm just checking classrooms and random other rooms.
I'm debating calling him but I feel like I'm being too clingy.
"Shh." Someone whispers in a dark classroom.
The door is only slightly ajar and I feel like I recognize the voice.
I wander over feeling curiosity get the best of me.
I peak into the classroom and my heart stops.
My entire brain stops processing and my body stops moving and my heart just stops.
I feel like screaming and crying and running. But I stand still. Watching.
My brain and body finally catch up and tears flood my eyes.
Jak and Dylan stand a couple feet away from me.
The lips that have kissed me so many times before are locked with the lips of the person who's beaten me up and called me so many bad names.
The love of my life is kissing my bully.
My boyfriend is cheating on me.
I let out the smallest of noises but it's enough for Jak to spring away from Dylan.
"Rocco... Sh*t oh my god. I swear, Rocco. It's not what it looks like." Jak says quickly taking a step toward me.
My emotions are running so high that I can't even get my body to move.
"Rocco.. Please say something."
I finally get myself to do something.
"I can't believe it.... What happened to the 'I love you's? What happened to forever?" I whisper.
"I do love you! It can be forever! Please, it didn't mean anything. It was a stupid mistake."
"It's always going to just be a stupid mistake." I mumble not even sure if I was talking to Jak.
"Please Rocco. I love you. Don't leave me. You've already left me once." Jak pleads.
I shake my head taking a step into the hallway.
"Please, Rocco. I don't want to lose you." He whispers.
"You already have." I say then I turn and run down the halls.

I make it outside before breaking.
I drop to my knees and break into heart wrenching sobs. I can't believe it.
I wish someone would rip my heart out, it would hurt less than the pain I'm feeling now.
Jak was just kissing Dylan.
Jak, the boy who said he loved me, the boy who promised me forever, the boy who said he'd never leave me, the boy who said nobody would ever hurt me again.
Dylan, the boy who beat me up, the boy who swore he'd make my life a living hell, the boy who called me names that I don't even want to repeat, the boy who made me cry on multiple occasions.
They just kissed.
Jak just kissed Dylan.
Jak cheated on me.
I broke up with Jak... Again.

Words can't even describe how terrible and just sad I am. I feel betrayed and lied to and used and just not good enough.
Maybe if I had been a better boyfriend he wouldn't have cheated on me.
Maybe I needed to be less clingy or maybe I need to be skinnier or maybe I need to be smarter or maybe I need to be stronger, maybe I need to stop crying at everything.
How come I can never be good enough for anyone?

:(
~Ellie