18

December 15'

No, I am not gonna start this month with a song. Why? Because I have way too many memories leading back to this month and all of them are special and have a different song working for them. I don't want to miss writing about either one of them.

It won't be a lie or even too dramatic if I say that although 7th December was your birth date, I think I was the one who was reborn that day.

Muka, I know that I have said this a hundred times before but really believe me, that day means something to me that I can't put into a blend of alphabets because it wouldn't be fair.

I remember preparing for it in the month of July. I remember staying up late at night making drawings and clicking pictures and then assembling them together. I remember putting up funny display pictures for 7 days.

"You are not ready for my gifts."

I remember telling you this a day before.

When the day came, we were in school. I remember coming in your class, tapping you on the head and wishing you a happy birthday. You seemed kinda bummed out and I found it right to just wait to do something about it.

Later that day we went to your home and aunty had prepared all kinds of food. After we were done eating, Dee asked me to help her put some music on and so we went into your room. That was when she got this amazing idea of putting in the CD.

"You say that I am too complicated

Hung up and mis-educated

Well I say 9 to 5 is overrated

And we all fall down."

We came out dancing to this. And within a minute we were in your room. You looked so confused and then you suddenly saw the album.

"Sounds Good Feels Good"

For a minute you just stood there with your hands covering your face in surprise and then you took the album from Dee and hugged it. Just so you know, I did the exact same thing the day it was delivered.

So after hugging the album, you hugged me.

Then I remember all of us dancing to weird songs; it was so much fun!

I was feeling too nervous about the video and just about when Dee and Julls were about to leave, Akansha opened Youtube and played it.

"I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape.

Cause' I'm not fine at all."

I remember standing right behind you, shaking, as you watched the video. When it was done, you stood still for a second.

"I don't cry, I'm punk rock."

You liar. Suddenly you turned to me and hugged me very tightly. I want to but I don't think I need to mention again what that exact moment, that tight and meaningful hug was for me. I swear I'll start crying.

After everyone was gone and I took out your last gift from my bag and you opened it up really fast. I remember you holding my hand firmly as you scrolled through the pictures and the other gifts.