Help.

10

Trigger Warning: mention of rape

Scott's POV)
     I couldn't do it. I knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me or take advantage but even his soft innocent touch triggered that feeling of panic whenever Alex did it.
     He would do it each night I saw Mitch. If I saw Mitch that day and he knew about it, he would do it as soon as I got home.
     I had to stay quiet so that Leah wouldn't know. I would bite the pillow and scream and cry into it as he did it.
     I would never tell Mitch this. Never tell him that it was because I was seeing him. He would blame himself and I could not have that.
     I've been in love with him for a long time. Since high school if I'm being honest. I never really thought of it as love until then.
     I realized what it was when one weekend when my parents were out of town:
We cuddled up under the comforter I grabbed from my room, on the ground in my living room. I had just turned off the movie seeing that Mitch had fallen asleep on me.
     I picked him up slightly so that we could lay down. He rustled slightly before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my chest.
      I wrapped my arm around him and kissed the top of his head. We fell asleep together and woke up the next morning our limbs entangled together.
      I was laying on my chest with my arm draped over him and our legs entangled together. I opened my eyes slowly to see the beautiful brown eyes staring back at me.
      "Good morning." He said quietly, his morning voice making my heart flutter.
      "Good morning." I smiled closing my eyes for a second. "How'd you sleep?"
      "Good. I got cuddled by a giant." He said and I laughed. I reopened my eyes and looked at him. He was the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
I got lost... my mind left me. It closed in on his features. He had to shake me out of my thoughts.
"I can't get up with your big arm on me Giant." He said and I laughed before taking my other arm and putting it under him.
I grabbed his waist and pulled him close to me, "You're my best friend Mitchie." I said but I knew that I felt so much more than that.
He hugged me tightly back, "you're my best friend Scottie."
I never fell out of love with him. I've always felt that way. I've buried and hid the feelings for so long that I found room for someone else. That someone else turned out to be someone who broke me.
After our talk we had the apartment to ourselves for the night. We were both too emotionally exhausted to do anything.
We walked to my room and got ready for bed in silence. I glanced over at him as he pulled his shirt off. Something caught my eye and I tilted my head to get a better look.
I approached him as he was about to put one of my shirts on. I stopped him and looked at what looked like fading bruises up and down his side.
I ran my fingers lightly on the light purple outline. Tears welled in my eyes, this seemed to be a reoccurrence.
"I'm fine Scott." He said pulling the shirt over his head, "I won. He lost Scott."
"I know that. I just tried so hard to keep you safe but I couldn't. I was the reason you weren't." I said looking down.
"Don't you do that. Stop blaming yourself for everything he did! You didn't do anything wrong Scott! He did! He's to blame! Not you! I'm so proud of you Scott. You've survived so much and I cannot express how happy that makes me." He said pulling me to him. I rested my chin on the top of his head trying to believe what he was saying to me but I couldn't.
"When will you believe me?" He whispered in my chest.
"Mitch... I... I don't..." I pulled away from him, "I cant... I... I'm sorry." I said backing away from him.
"Scottie, it's okay. I will help you." He said and I nodded. I got onto one side of the bed and faced the wall. I didn't know what to do. I felt like wasted space in this room.
I felt the bed dip on the other side before a felt his little arm hesitantly draping over my waist. I gently rested my arm on top of his and intertwined our fingers.
He always made me feel more than wasted space. I closed my eyes and tried to find some sleep. I did but it was light. Mitch was the only one that helped me sleep. He made me feel safe which was hard to do for me these last few weeks.
I woke up to the bright light flooding in from my bedroom window. I still felt his little arm around me and I smiled. I rolled over to face him.
It reminded me of the time I realized I was in love with him. My mind focused on his features. His eyes fluttered open before squinting quickly. He buried his face in my chest.
"Too bright." He muttered groggily and I giggled.
"I love you Mitchie." I whispered kissing the top of his head.
"I love you too Scottie."