derp crew assemble....?

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//sweats

this is overdue whoops. expect a double update? Depends on how fast i write the next part.... which will be more of a thanksgiving-type special i guess
--

"We are glad to welcome you to the First Annual Derp Crew Vacation! Please keep all limbs inside the vehicle at all times, this is including, and not limited to, all hands, feet, heads and penises. We hope you enjoy your ride and your stay. Please give us a good Yelp review.... we need it." Smarty sits down in the passenger seat of the van they had rented, and smiles to himself.

Steven and the others all clap for their friend, laughing at his stupid announcement. They were excited for this.

Tom had mentioned that his family owned a little cabin by a lake, and almost immediately they decided to go spend a few days there. And by decided, mind you, Steven means that they all packed up and left it as a surprise for Tom.

Tom didn't mind at all, though he had been kind enough to enforce a strict no sex rule.

Steven was pretty sure he wouldn't have a problem with that. Not too sure about Galm and Aphex, though.

He looked out the window, watching as buildings and people began to go by. He shifted in his seat, then looked down at his phone.

"I should've brought my 3DS. Could've been playing Pokemon," Chilled mumbles from behind Steven.

Galm snickers. "I brought mine, sooo... Sucks to be a chilly willy, doesn't it?" Galm then pats his bag, sitting inbetween Steven and him.

Tom scoffs loudly from his spot in the driver's seat. "You hardly even play! All I've seen you do is catch the same thing twelve times!"

"Alright, excuse you mister! Those things have a name, okay? They're called zigzagoons, and they're fucking adorable!" Galm folds his arms, turning his head away to look out the window. "I don't need you insulting my plans for world domination!"

Aphex giggles from his spot, in the very back of the van with all the extra bags and luggage. "This is such a proud day for me."

There was a moment of pure silence and confusion, before Smarty asks the question on everyone's minds.

"Why is it proud?"

Aphex giggles again, and then speaks in this tiny, smart-ass tone.

"My boyfriend is gonna take over the world and revive the Guatemala City."

There was an odd mix of groans and laughs- Steven couldn't believe that they were still making jokes about that.

This was gonna be one hell of a trip, it seemed.

--

"Alright. We've been driving for two hours, which means that we're almost halfway. This, as a result, also means that this is our union regulated bathroom break," Tom announced, pulling into a gas station.

"Meet back here in... Twenty minutes. Go!"

In that instant, the six of them broke off, Steven immediately rushing towards some bags of chips. He grabbed two, not even bothering to check the flavors, then went to where the drinks were, stopping to grab a few candy bars along the way.

Orange soda sounded good. So did lemonade, though, and bottled water was always a necessity...

Steven decided to take one of each. He paid, put his stuff in the car, and waited for the others to return with their snacks.

"Everyone got what they needed? Chilled, you remembered to go to the bathroom, right? God knows I'm not stopping for you." Tom checks over everyone one last time before getting into the van.

Chilled nods his head, grumbling something about "dignity" and "megashits" as he climbs in, this time next to Steven.

Galm's the one driving this time, though Tom is still sitting in the front. Smarty and Aphex are in front of Steven and Anthony now, which means that Steven is in the back where he has the ability to hit everyone on the head.

Lovely.

--

"Psst. Hey, Steven," Aphex whispers, peeking over the seat in between them. "I got a bag of Skittles. You have anything to trade?"

Steven nods. "Two bags of Doritos, three KitKats and some gum."

"I'll trade you my Skittles and soda for your Doritos. I don't care what kind they are, I'll take them either way."

"Deal."

Aphex gives a muffled giggle, quickly passing over the candy and drink. Steven is quick to respond, sliding his chips over as quietly as he could.

"What, is this some kinda drug deal I'm witnessing? You guys are passing each other snacks! Right in front of me, too! Stop acting all sneaky!" Chilled gives them both looks, and they all laugh.

Tom shushes them all, though, by throwing an empty water bottle at them. "Shush, Smarty's sleeping. You guys know how he gets when he's tired."

The three nodded their heads, and instead of laughing out loud, quieted their giggles.

"Shut the fuck up and go to sleep. I can't drive if it sounds like I'm hearing some kind of mini ghosts laughing, Jesus Christ." Galm cuts them all off, and this time they actually stop laughing. 

"I'm assuming the anger means we're still stuck in traffic?" Chilled doesn't even look up when asking his question.

"Shut up and let me drive, because clearly these people have no idea what they're doing."

"I'll Pokemon battle you," Aphex whispers.

Steven gives a small hum in agreement, pulling out his game. Chilled shifts besides him, resting his head on the window.

And as the night went on, Steven couldn't help but slowly drift off.

Hopefully they would be at the cabin by morning.

little things :: zeroyalchaos auWhere stories live. Discover now