Lost Soul | Ghorror

Reliving The Past

After the morning we had yesterday Ricky and I decided just to take today off to relax. It was late in the morning now and we were still wrap up in bed in each other arms. I was slowly running my fingers up and down his arm, tracing his tattoo as I went. 

"You seem to be entertaining yourself." He said to me with a smirk. He brought one of his hands up and started to run it through my hair.

"Hm, I am." I responded quietly. I really hadn't said much to him this morning, my mind seem to be going a mile a minute and I didn't know how to talk to him about it.

"What's wrong kitten you have been off all morning?" He ask me and I could tell he was concerned. There was no way I was getting away without telling him what was on my mind I knew that for certain.

"I've just been thinking about everything that happened yesterday." I said in a mumble voice. I was so unsure of myself right now that I felt if I talked any louder I wouldn't be able to deal with it.

"You mean what happened with my ex?" He ask, raising an eyebrow at me as he spoke.

I nodded slowly as I tried to mentally put the right words together. "I don't know but it just made me feel insecure a bit I guess." I started to fidget slightly as I spoke.

He placed as hand under my chin, making me look up at him and he look at me with such soft eyes that alone made me feel a small bit better. "You don't have any reason to feel insecure. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else in the world. No one in my life is comparable to you in any way." The way he spoke there was so much love in his voice that I couldn't help but start to smile at him. 

"You promise me that?" I questioned him as I started to trace his tattoos again.

"I promise. No one will ever compare to you kitten." He kissed my head after he finished his statement and I lent forward, resting my head on his chest. 

"Plus to be honest about everything she was a complete bitch. And she left me because she couldn't deal with me supposedly." I could hear the anger in his voice towards the situation from his past. 

"Why couldn't she deal with you?" I ask him, looking up at him with big, curious eyes in hopes it would get him to tell me the truth even if he really didn't want elaborate on the subject. 

He let out a harsh sigh. There was a long pause before he started speaking again. It seemed like he was thinking about how to say all of it or if he even wanted to tell me any of it. I know he had told me before a little bit about what his past relationships but never in full detail. I feel like the exposure I got to it that he sad was similar to what he used to be like was nothing close to how bad it actually was.

"I will take partial responsibility I guess for how things went down but a good amount of it was her fault. She was fully aware of what she was getting into when we got together, it shouldn't of been a surprise. I never lied to anyone about how I was like. Plus she knew I had a temper and she always seemed to push my buttons at the wrong time. 

"One night she was aggravating me to no end and I had enough of it. She seemed to like when I hit her or degraded her in anyway so I knew that wouldn't get my point across.I spent that night trying to think of a new way to fix her for her actions.

"It was the mild of December when this all happened and after she had fallen asleep I had all but drag her out of bed. She was so out of it she barely knew what was going on till I had the backdoor open and I was pulling her outside. I threw her outside and locked the door. She spent a longtime banging at the door, begging for me to let her in. She was being so loud that I was surprised that none of the neighbors called the cops to complain. I did let her in eventual. Before any major issues could start to happen to her. 

"When she got in the house she went straight up stairs to warm herself up. I didn't see her till morning. She didn't speak a word to me and when she did it was in such a quiet tone that I barely heard. I made her fear me and it took me so long to get her to have that fear in her." He didn't look at me as he spoke. He was starring off, getting lost in his own thought as he told the story to me. 

He snapped out of it a few moment after finishing and he looked down at me with worried filled eyes. "Your not scared of me now right?" He ask me and I hated seeing him this way. I immediately launched myself up to kiss him and he was shocked by me doing so. 

"I could never be scared of you for doing that. That is your past and I can't hold that against you."I said to him as I looked him dead in the eyes, letting him see I was telling him nothing but the truth. 

I smirk slowly pulled up on my lips. "Plus I find it kinda funny that you did that to her and her name is Snow." I said to him trying to lighten the mood and he let out a laugh at that.

He shrugged lightly and I could tell he was thinking about something else he was going to tell me. I let him have his time though to figure out what he wanted to tell me and how he wanted to tell it. 

"There was another time I gave her to Chris and let him do whatever he wanted to her. At the time he had a lot of built up anger and he had no where to really take it out on. He was getting bored by his employees and at the time him and Angelo were just getting together and after the life he lived through Chris didn't want to treat him like that. She came home pretty fucked up he went a lot further then I ever would of to be honest. She stop acting up for a while after that but it was like she couldn't help herself and she started acting out again." 

I knew most of that to be true. Chris always tend to take his anger out on his workers and it was never a good thing when he did so. I'm surprised that alone didn't scare her straight a bit more.There was many times where he missed me up so bad I was unable to work because of how profound the bruise he left on me where and I could barely walk.

"Why don't you treat me like that? I mean please don't ever throw me outside when it freezing outside or anything but why is our relationship different?" I ask him quietly. It never really made sense to me the change he made in himself for me. I know we have had this conversation before but it still was a question I didn't feel got answered well enough.

"I don't know why really. I think I was getting sick of acting that way for a while but once you became apart of my life I just couldn't do it anymore. Plus when it comes to you I knew you already had a rough life and I wanted to make your life better and I couldn't do that with the way I used to be." He started to gently run his hand up and down my back as he spoke. 

"I'm glad you made that change." I told him as I placed a kiss on his cheek. 

"I'm glad I did too." He said in a mumble like he was talking to himself.

"You know what we should do soon?" I ask him as I trailed my fingers along his chest with a smile.

"What would that be kitten?" I heard the smirk in his voice when he ask. We both knew by the tone of voice I was using there was something I wanted and I wasn't going to take no for answer from him.

I look up at him with big doe eyes to get my point across more. "We should have my brother and his family over for dinner. I mean I do really want to get to know him more and his family."

"Of course we can do that. You don't have to ask me to do stuff like that. This is your house as much as mine." He told me in a sincere way. I smiled up at him even more then I was before when he said that. It help me feel better about living here with him because he was making me feel like this was my place too.