Tainted Love (BWS)

Fourty Eight.

Violets POV:

I drove and drove till I ended up in Birmingham, it wasn't planned but I knew there wouldn't be a lot of press in the suburbs of Birmingham. I stop off at a petrol station and fill up my car before paying for it and buying a bottle of wine and start the journey to my mums house.

"Mum!" I said reaching out my hands to hug her.

"Oh Vi baby" I could tell by her face that she'd seen the interview.

"Mum I'm fine!" I said shaking her off and entering my home.

"Oh yeah.. then what's this" she said taking the bottle of wine off me.

"A welcoming present!" I said taking the bottle back off her.

"Have you eaten? You've lost weight" my mum said making her way to the kitchen, I roll my eyes at my mother constantly worrying about me.

"Mum I'm fine, it's just a new diet" I said taking an apple from the fruit bowl and sitting on a stall.

"Oh yeah well I very much doubt this is a part of the diet" she said putting the wine in the fridge.

"Anyway mother.. what are you doing right now, why don't we go out for a meal or watch a movie?"

"I can't sweetie, I'm working late tonight.. but we can definitely do breakfast? Yeah, at that little cafe you use to love?"she kisses my cheek before grabbing her bag and leaving for work.

"Great alone again"

I make my way upstairs to my room, as I slowly open the door and see my past plastered all over the walls. Pictures, train tickets, concert tickets, sticky notes.. everything!

I spot a picture of me and Brad in a frame, I'm smiling looking into the camera and he's smiling looking down at me. I guess in some fucked up way he did love me. I open up my wardrobe and see all my old favourite outfits, like my fish nets and doc martins.. I'm pretty sure I lived in these. I find lots of brads old t shirts and jumpers, I also lived in these.

Fuck this, I need to go for a walk.. being here, in this room is making me sadder. So I decided to go for a walk round the local park, I grab a pack of cigarettes and head out the house, I notice it starts to rain lightly so I chuck up my hood and start the journey to the park.

As I reach the park I sit on a bench under a tree just as the rain gets heavier, I dig through my bag till I find my cigarettes box and a light. I place my last cigarette between my lips and light it, leaning my head back as I blow out the smoke like a dragon, my eyes slowly shut as I enjoy the peace and quite.

"That'll kill you"

My eyes snapped open as my peace was disturbed by a spine tingling, familiar voice. A voice I haven't heard in years, a voice a grew to hate.

Bradley.

"Oh come on, this is the part where you say a witty come back like... oh hadn't heard or .. nothing can kill me I'm the great Violet Cambell! I don't fear death, death fears me!" He said coming into my eyesight, his smug smile cutting like a knife. My heart pounded so loud in my chest I'm surprised I heard what he said.

"Bradley Will Simpson, I knew you'd never be able to leave this place" I said with zero emotion in my face or voice. I was numb to everything right now.

"Yeah well I could say the same about you right now" his smirk dropped.

"Are you kidding leaving this place was the best decision of my life!" I said standing up to face him, putting a brave face on.

"Oh yeah, then why'd you come back" he licked his lips, planting the smirk back on his face.

"Fuck off Bradley" I turned my back to him and started to walk out into the rain growing angry with talking to him.

"Oh yeah that's right run away, like you always do!" He shouted out. I stopped in the middle of the park, rain hitting me from every angle and turned.

"And what's that suppose to mean?!"

"It means you've never been able to face your mistakes, you've never been able to face anything. You run when things get tough, your weak Violet" he said stepping out into the rain with me. Out of absolute shock of what he said i slapped him across the face, he showed no sign of pain or discomfort, just turned his head back to face me.

"Weak?!" I shouted. "I went to University whilst being pregnant, whilst the father was too busy fucking my best friend every chance he got, I went to every scan, a every lecture, every appointment BY MYSELF!" I was screaming so loud my voice broke so I stopped for a second to catch my breath as my tears blended with the rain on my face. "I gave birth to a dead baby Brad, I went through the pain every mother goes through but there was no happy ending for me, I watched them carry my baby boy in there arms and take him out of the room and that was the last time I ever saw him" I paused again, I see Brad biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to listen. "And then I had to carry on with my life, with my course, my exams, my lectures, everything.. I had to act like everything was fine.. when really? It wasn't" I started to sob slightly, putting my head down. "So don't you ever call me weak!" I snapped back with gritted teeth.

"What was i suppose to do Violet!" He raised his voice slightly but I could hear the pain, finally emotion. "You never told me!"

"Could you blame me! Brad.. you wasn't the dad I wanted for my child, you drunk too much, smoked too much, you had fights everyday, you cheated on me, slept around.. every time I thought about telling you, you gave me another reason not to"

"I tried to apologise to you that night everything happened but you wouldn't listen.. I'm sorry Violet, I was young and I thought that I'd be young forever. I'm sorry" he put his hands on top of his head and sat down on the bench, as he lifted his head back up, I could see a new kind of pain on his face, it was raw, violent, new pain that wasn't ours, it was his own.

"My grandad died... about a year after you left" he sobbed out. I let out a painful sigh and sat back down on the bench next to Brad leaving a respectful gap between us.

"I know" I said simply.

"What?" He turned to face me, looking confused.

"He wrote me a letter, a thew days before he passed, he asked me if I could go to the funeral and sent me a book he thought I'd enjoy" I said with a slight giggle as I remember Jack. "I went to the funeral and I was about to walk into the church but then I saw you, standing with your sister, you were wearing a white shirt tucked into these really tight black trousers and I could see that'd you been crying by your eyes, they were so puffy and red.. so i stayed back abit so no one could see me"

"You were there and you didn't even speak to me" he said sounding hurt.

"I was still mad at you Brad, it had only been a thew months since I lost the baby, it was only a year since I left you.. I hadn't forgiven you but.." I pause as I think about how I really feel right now.

"But?" He asks, there's a sudden gleam of hope in his eyes.

"But now.. I guess I don't feel anything"

I watch his face crumble and the way he tries to hide it by standing up and adjusting the collar on his shirt. "Nice Vi" he said and angrily sped walked away from me.

"Anytime" I said quietly to myself.