Reawakening || Book 1 of 'Reawakening Series'

Chapter 22 - Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester

"Well then tell me what else it could have been?" Sam asks, looking at his brother.

"All I know is I was not groped by an angel." Dean says, growing frustrated.

"Okay look Dean, why do you think this Castiel would lie to you about it?" Sam counters, folding his arms over his chest.

"Maybe he's some kind of demon, demons lie." Dean says, causing me to tilt my head to the side and raise my eyebrows, "A demon who's immune to salt rounds and devil traps? And Ruby's knife?"

"Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing." Sam says, sitting forward in his chair.

"Don't you think that we'd know angels were real, some hunter somewhere would have seen one at some point, ever?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, you just did." Sam states.

"I'm trying to come up with a theory here, okay? Work with me." Dean says and I let out a sigh, "Dean, we have a theory."

"Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust babe." He says, facing me and I sigh, "Look, I'm not saying we know for sure, I'm just saying that I think-"

"Okay, okay." He says cutting me off, "That's the don't. We don't know for sure. So I'm not gonna believe this thing is an Angel of the Lord because it says so."

"You three chuckleheads wanna keep arguing religion or do you wanna come take a look at this?" Bobby calls out from the study.

We push away from the wall and make my way over to him, the guys following behind as Bobby begins to speak, "I got stacks of lore. Biblical, pre-biblical, some of its in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit."

"What else?" Dean asks.

"What else what?" Bobby asks confused and Dean clarifies himself, "What else could do it?"

"Airlift your ass out of the hotbox?" Bobby asks, "As far as I can tell, nothing."

Sam looks to his brother with a triumphant smile, "Dean, this is good news."

"How?" He asks, looking to his brother.

"Because, for once this isn't just another round of demon crap. I mean maybe you were saved by one of the good guys." Sam answers.

"Okay," Dean says with a shake of his head, "Say it's true, say there are angels. Then what? There's a God?"

"At this point, Vegas money on yeah." Bobby says.

"I don't know guys." Dean says, turning away.

Sam turns to him frustrated, "I know you're not all choir boy about this stuff. But this is becoming less about faith and more and more about proof.

"Proof?" Dean asks in disbelief and Sam nods, "Yes."

"Proof that there's a God out there that gives a crap about me personally? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it." Dean says.

"Why not?" I ask, looking at him confused.

"Because why me?" He asks, his vulnerability shining through which causes my hear to break slightly, "If there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me? I mean I've saved some people, I figure that made up for the stealing and ditching chicks over the years. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy."

A sadness fills my heart and I see Dean's flaw, that he doesn't believe in himself and that he doesn't understand why anyone believes in him. No matter how many times you tell him, he just doesn't get how special and important he is.