Wings | ✓

19. a look

"how are you feeling?" i asked quietly, breathing in slowly and exhaling gently, my eyes closed and heart at ease as hav ran his hand through my hair absentmindedly. he stopped sitting in the corner or even on the foot of my bed. now, every time he visited, he'd nudge me (gently), waking me up, then he'd crawl into bed with me and pull me close to him.

we fit like puzzle pieces, you know. my head would fit perfectly in the crook of his neck and my fingers would rest snugly in every ridge on his ribcage. it really was like we were made for each other.

offering one another comfort when no one else could, in the form of touch and silence. it was breathtaking. i stopped taking my medicine again, but only on alternate days. just enough to not draw attention to anything, but enough to halt my recovery. for hav.

"a little better," he murmured, nuzzling his face into my hair. "if we ever get out, what do you want to do?"

"hmm," i pondered, thinking of the endless possibilities. going to school, feeding the ducks, learning how to ride a bicycle...

"i wanna watch titanic," i decided, lips quirking into a smile. "they always talk about it in books."

"it's tragic," hav said.

"i also read in books that tragedy is the best kind of romance," i said thoughtfully, and felt his chest rumble with laughter. it was like music to my ears, his deep laugh, and i found myself wondering how i could ever live life without him or his laugh.

"tragedy," he murmured, shaking his head slightly. "aren't we tragedies?"

"what do you mean, hav?" i asked, , not quite understanding what he meant.

"we're alarms ready to go off any time," he said softly, even though his words were sharp and unforgiving. "and yet, no one will hear us when the time comes."

"stop with the riddles, hav," i said, "it's confusing. i don't get it."

"it's okay, ava. sometimes ignorance is bliss," he muttered, and we immersed into silence. then, i remembered something, and nudged him to get his attention.

"yes, ava?" he said patiently.

"what do you look like?" i asked again, bringing up the topic he so quickly dismissed all those nights ago. hav was silent, fiddling with the hem of my hospital gown.

"bad," he said. "not like you. you're beautiful."

"i'm sure you look fine, hav. come on, i just wanna see," i continued to pester, shaking his arm. hav fidgeted, then sighed quietly.

"you're not going to stop asking, are you?" he mumbled reluctantly. biting my lip, i nodded, "yeah..."

"fine," hav said, his voice hesitant. "but don't scream."

"i won't," i insisted, and felt him tremble slightly as he pulled himself out of bed and padded over to the door where the light switch was.

i clenched my fists in anticipation, feeling my heart race. all i could see now was his pair of magical purple eyes, but that's going to change soon.

"just one look," he mumbled, and flicked the light switch on.