Wings | ✓

2. a voice

i wouldn't have been wishing for such silly things if it weren't for that dream i had two nights ago. greg just left the room but he said he would come back later with my new medication. the nurses said that my condition worsened last night but i don't feel any different from before. but how am i supposed to know any better?

maybe it's the dream that's making my health worsen. my wish is a form of greed, right? i know it's not good to be greedy. that's what greg says all the time.

sometimes i really wish there was something else other than lying in bed to do. my bones feel like rusty steel and moving hurts. greg said it's normal but i don't know, so he said he'll give me something to numb the pain, you know, on top of the rest of the new medication.

ava...

what's that? who said that? there's no one at the door. could it be greg? he's been gone for a while but he should've been back by now, right? 

ava...

too familiar, but i can't seem to place a finger on who it belongs to. i was starting to feel a little scared and the increasing beeping of the heart monitor beside me didn't help.

don't be silly ava deep breaths ava there's no one there ava, ava, ava---

"ava."

"ahh!"

"calm down, ava. it's just me. why did you scream?" greg the doctor exclaimed, eyes widening with surprise. i think i gave him a big shock because his glasses almost fell off his nose from jumping so high.

"i was just...i thought you were somebody else," i admitted sheepishly.

"what are you talking about? only the nurses and i are allowed to enter this room, ava. you should know that, you've been here for eight years."

"i know, i just thought i heard someone call my name from the other room, greg."

"the room next to yours is vacant, ava. don't work yourself up over nothing. come on, take your medicine and then get some sleep," he sighed, eyeing me with curiosity. i licked my lips nervously and nodded, and stared at the spread of various colourful medication that was placed neatly on the small tray greg brought in. i blinked at the significant increase of medicine and felt a small pang of sadness.

"is it that bad?" i asked quietly. greg's expression softened but he shook his head and offered me an encouraging smile.

"no, ava. we just decided to put you through the second stage of your treatment. the extra medicine will make you feel better, okay?" greg said, and took the first pastel pink pill and handed it to me with a tall glass of water.

i took the pill in my hands, rolling the tiny capsule in between my fingers and raised it to my lips.

no, ava! don't take it!

i let out a small shriek and dropped the pill at the loud scream that echoed through my mind. greg reached out to grab my shoulder and again, stared at me with conflicted eyes.

"what was that, ava?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"s-s-spider," i stuttered, flushing deeply. i don't know why i couldn't bring myself to tell greg about the voice that i kept hearing. it must be because i haven't taken my medicine. yes, that must be it, i'm just experiencing withdrawals, that's all.

greg let out a sigh and shook his head, pushing the pill into my palm and gesturing for me to hurry up and take the medicine.

this time, my hands shook slightly when i raised the pill to my mouth, afraid that the voice would come back. it didn't.

i swallowed the rest as quickly as i could.