Wings | ✓

9. a touch

the next few days, hav kept visiting, doing the same thing he did the night before. he had a pattern; he would creep into my room in the dead of the night, take the book off my bedside table, and then snuggle into the hard corner at the side of the room and read until i woke up. he didn't talk much, just read, although i wondered how he managed to do that in pitch black darkness.

maybe it had something to do with his eyes.

i wasn't too bothered by his visits, and caught myself staying up waiting for him several times. it was sort of nice to have some company, even though we hardly spoke and he was basically a shadow to me.

but, the strange thing is, he became kind of distant. i mean, we're not friends to begin with or anything, although that would be nice, but he almost seemed a little angry when i tried to speak to him these past few days.

nonetheless, he still visited, so i figured he couldn't be that angry, right? besides, i didn't do anything wrong.

i heard the door creak open, snapping me out of my thoughts, and anticipated his familiar eyes to appear. 

"hey," i greeted softly. today was the first time i managed to stay awake long enough for him to appear. usually i fell asleep trying, only waking up after he had already arrived and was in his corner reading.

"hi." if hav was surprised, his voice didn't give it away. without further delay, he approached my bedside table to grab the book.

it was as if something possessed my hand, and it shot out weakly and wrapped around his wrist. i gasped when i touched him, shocked by how unnaturally cold he was.

hav froze, his purple eyes snapping up to meet mine.

"you're f-freezing," i stuttered. his eyes narrowed, enough for me to get the message and let go.

"don't do that," he muttered, his voice gruff.

"are you-- are you angry at me?" i asked in a timid voice when his glare deepened when i let go of him.

"no," he snapped quickly. i flinched at his harsh voice, and by some miracle, his eyes softened as if he could see through the darkness. his eyes were the only indication that he was here.

"ava," he murmured, and i felt the bed shift from the new weight and figured he sat down beside me. "i'm not angry. i'm just very sick right now, and i'm a little weak."

"w-why?" i dared to ask.

"it's the medicine that they give me," he replied, his voice rising a tone in bitterness.

"but medicine is supposed to make you better," i said quietly, confusion dripping from my words.

"not always," he sighed, sounding so sad that i just couldn't help but reach out blindly to try to hold his hand again. it took a while,  but i finally found his icy hand and clasped it tightly. 

"you'll be okay," i mumbled. 

"will i? i think they want me dead," he said angrily, his purple eyes glowing brighter.

"that's not true," i said, even though doubt began to run through my mind as i uttered those words. who really was hav? why didn't the nurses want to save him like they want to save me? it just didn't make any sense. 

"do you think-- do you think i deserve to die?" hav asked quietly, and i immediately shook my head.

"no," i said. "no one deserves to die."

hav sighed softly, almost in relief, his fingers moving to clasp my own tightly. it felt comforting, and yet a little wrong. what were we doing? i don't think it's allowed.

"you're the only one that's different," he said, his voice soft and hesitant. i felt my cheeks heat up and my heart beat faster. what does that mean?

"thank you, ava."