Find The Beauty Within: The Pain and The Struggle

The Birthday Party

Normani's POV:

"...we are there with our cameras to record reality. Once we start modifying that which exists, we are robbing photography of its most valuable attribute." -Phillip Jones Griffiths.

A mall. Of all places, I had to run into her at the mall—literally. We crashed right into one another, and it took all I had not to yell and cry when I saw her. Of course she had to look stunning when I wanted to hate her. Of course she had to go and make my heart flutter when I wanted to stay mad at her. It wasn't fair at all. She was a walking piece of art, and I was her biggest critic. The critic that secretly loved the piece.

She told me to text her, to let her know what happened between Kehlani and I, so I did. I told her everything, admitting to my faults, and exposing hers. My ex was caught up in drugs and alcohol, that was her problem, and I tried to help, I really did. But I got tired of it, let her make her own choices because she refused my help. I became distant, so she cheated. I gave up on her, so she played me. We were both at fault, and I had no trouble admitting that. Maybe if I had tried harder, Kehlani would've gotten better, maybe she would've never cheated—maybe not. There was nothing I could do to change the past, but I could alter my future. I could learn not to make the same mistake.

The only question was...was Dinah worth it?

Was she worth breaking myself, and her, over and over again, just to see if we had a shot at happiness—whether it be as friends or otherwise? Was it worth the risk of getting my heart ripped out by her again?

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to decide, as Zendaya's 23rd birthday rolled around. She wanted a party, and considering she and Dinah still kept in contact, it was safe to assume that the blonde would be there. That meant I had to get my mind straight and have some sort of decision, but I found myself torn. My heart wanted to take the risk, but my brain said it wasn't the best idea. And soon enough, I found myself pacing back and forth weighing my options as are friends had started to arrive at the bar.

"Take it easy," Liam chuckled, wiping down the counter after some random drunk blonde failed at her lousy attempt to do body shots while she sat out the counter. "You're going crazy for what?"

He was right. I was going crazy for no reason. Everyone was sure to be drunk, so there was no need for me to make a decision quite yet. I could be cordial with Dinah when she arrived, then distance myself to get drunk with my girlfriend. It was best for everyone, and it would not doubt relieve me of my stress. "I don't know," I answered truthfully.

"Exactly. So relax, have a shot on the house, and enjoy the night."

I sent him a thankful smile, downing the shot he called a "Jolly Rancher." It went down smoothly, tasting faintly of Sprite. "Go enjoy the night," he told me. I nodded, smiling once more before I made my way back to my girlfriend. It seemed that in the time I was gone, Dinah had arrived with Camila, seeing as Lauren had come with Ally. A few of Zendaya's friend's had arrived as well; a strawberry blonde and a tall boy with skin a bit lighter than my own, and a wild mess of curly hair that stood up straight. The two were fun to be around, and they seemed to be getting along with everyone else.

I walked by Dinah, giving her a small smile as I sat next to my girlfriend. Immediately, Zendaya placed a lingering kiss on my lips before turning her attention back to our friends. Everyone was conversing, laughing, drinking, and dancing. It might've been the most fun I've had in a while, and for the first time, Zendaya and I weren't stressing over August as he was sleeping soundly in is grandmother's house. We were able to enjoy the night without a care in the world.