Find The Beauty Within: The Pain and The Struggle

She Didn't Deserve It

  "what I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that's gone forever, impossible to reproduce." -Karl Lagerfeld

Dinah pov

normani stopped talking to me. I felt bad because I lied. she didn't break my heart . I broke hers first and it was wrong of me to blame her for something she didn't do. she honestly tried with me. she was patient and I was happy that I had her but I screwed it all up . I didn't deserve her and I knew that. I'm not good in relationships. I let my insecure thoughts ruin me. I lost the one woman that was willing to be there for me . she fought for me after I rejected her multiple times. she didn't leave once .

I'm sorry normani . even though I know you aren't thinking about me . I really need to stop lying to myself. normani didn't deserve the shit I was putting on her. she had every right to get mad because I put the blame on her . I should apologize to her but I know she doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't see her around anymore but I always ask lauren and Camila how she is. they tell me she's happy and that's all I ever wanted in life. as for Kehlani , I just stopped trying . like I couldn't be in a relationship knowing that I ruined my friendship with normani because of her. of course I didn't know what happened between her and Kehlani but I wish I did . i wouldn't have dated Kehlani if I knew what happened . she must've broke Normani's heart considering how mani got all hurt about it.

"Dinah?! you ready to leave?" Camila screams, entering the house.

"yeah, let me just finish putting my hair up!"

I didn't feel like dressing up so I put on some leggings and a baggy t-shirt along with some Jordan's. I quickly put my hair into a messy ponytail before going downstairs. I had no idea what I was doing going to the mall with these two but all I know is that if I let these two go by themselves to the mall, they're going to get banned . they do some crazy shit while at the mall. after they saw me, we left the house once I locked the door . on the way to the mall, we decided to stop by somewhere to eat . we decided on Waffle House considering, we always went to wingstop and we're getting tired of it . we'll probably want it again when we crave it but eating it everytime we're hungry isn't healthy .

arriving at the mall, I could feel people staring. I think both good and bad. I didn't really care nor pay attention. although I should've been because I ran into someone and fell on top of them. I looked down , apologizing to the person. that person I fell onto made me quickly get to my feet. she dusted herself off before getting up as well. of all people, why do I keep running into her? is this some kind of sign or some shit because this really isn't funny .

"at least you can say sorry."

"I didn't mean to bump into you, I was in my own little land."

"of course you were. anyway, Laur and mila ran off so you probably have to find them before they get kicked out or worse."

"I shouldn't have blamed you for something you didn't do. I was the one in the wrong . I blamed you for breaking my heart when I was the one to be the first one to break it . after what happened between you and I , I couldn't be in a relationship with Kehlani. whatever she did must've hurt you so much. I could tell because you got angry at me. it hurt you when you say her and found out that she was my girlfriend."

"you wanna know what happened?"

"if you still have my number message me. I'm pretty sure they're doing something they're not supposed to because I can hear screaming ."

I ran off to where I heard the screaming. when I saw the sight, I slapped my hand on my forehead. these dummies .

"get your ass over here now !" I screamed, making everyone turn towards me.