Find The Beauty Within: The Pain and The Struggle

She Loves Me

    Normani's POV:

    "The whole point of taking pictures is so that you don't have to explain things with words." -Eillott Erwitt.

    I sat in shock, in silence, staring at the door Dinah had just left from. I wasn't sure how to feel. I had admitted that I wanted a future with Dinah, but I told myself that was because she was my best friend; who wouldn't want a future with their best friends? But the words that followed were something I'd never thought I'd hear from Dinah.

    "It kills me watching you with Zendaya."

    She had just admitted that she still had feelings for me, and I wasn't sure what to do. Part of me fought the urge to kiss her the entire time we were talking, but the other part wanted to succumb to the urge, to revel in what it must feel like to kiss her. It was possibly due to the fact that I never had the chance to do so, and part of me wished I could've killed the urge then and there. Maybe if I kissed her once, I'd never think about what it must feel like again. It was common curiosity. Still, I found myself wishing I had kissed her when I had the opportunity — despite the fact that my girlfriend was standing two feet away from me, glaring at me.

    Oh shit.

    "What the fuck happened?" she questioned, making me grow angry.

    "Nothing happened, Daya. Can't I talk to my best friend in peace?" I scoffed. "And what the fuck was that about? Dinah yelling that you already had me?"

    Zendaya grew wary and a bit guilty. "She loves you, Mani."

    My eyebrows furrowed. Love? No, that was out of the question. Dinah didn't love me, just like I didn't love her. "No she doesn't."

    "Yeah, okay," my girlfriend scoffed. "She loves you and anyone with eyes can see it. I was just trying to protect what was mine."

    "I get that, Z, I do," I told her. "But you don't have to protect me from Dinah. Whatever we had has been over for a year now, and you know that."

    "I-I know...I just..."

    "You, nothing, Z. Please don't be cruel to her. You're my everything, but she's my best friend, and she's going to be in my life whether you like it or not."

    The girl I loved nodded, looking sincere. I knew she was the jealous type, but in my eyes, she had nothing to worry about. Sure, Dinah had admitted to having feelings for me, but she was never going to act on them. She never acted on them when she had the chance, why would she do it now? There was no reason whatsoever for Zendaya to worry, and I wanted her to realize that; wanted her to get along with Dinah the way they seemingly used to.

    "So we're okay, babe?" she asked quietly.

    I opened my arms, inviting her into a hug. I placed a gentle kiss on her head, reveling in the feel of being in her arms. It was nothing like holding Dinah, but that didn't matter. Zendaya wanted me, and I wanted her. We were good for each other. Dinah and I? We were toxic.

    "You have to apologize for that door stunt you pulled."

    Zendaya blushed furiously, having been caught, and she nodded her head. "I know," she whispered. "I'll be back."

    The minute she was gone, I silently slipped out of bed, wincing at the dull throbbing in my head. I followed her quietly, listening in the doorway as she softly spoke to Dinah.

    "I'm sorry," I heard her apologize.

    "Yeah? And I'm supposed to believe that?" Dinah scoffed.