Lost In Stereo {Sequel To LINLYAA}

Chapter Eleven-P

"It started around the end of May... I swear."

"May this year or last year?" I questioned. It would be exactly Tellie to turn around and say May meaning May last year instead of this year, it was one of those cocky smart ass things she always did. It's like being in I robot when asking Tellie questions, if you don't ask the right questions you don't get the right answers.

Tellie looked up at me tears in her eyes. "This year..."

"Love...why didn't you tell me?" I asked softly. "Come on sweetie why didn't you just come to me?"

"'Cause I didn't want you to do this...

Yell at me and ask me stuff..."

"You should've told me. You should've just came to me before you did it."

Tellie looked back down at the floor.

"But then you would've put me in therapy or something..." She explained quietly.

"What makes you think I'm not putting you in therapy now?" I asked. I could see her stiffen and the fear flowing through her was obvious.

"What? No, you can't put me in therapy. I'm not mental or anything-"

"Tellie, cutting does come under as a mental illness..." I cut in. "If I do put you in therapy, it's not because I think your crazy. It's because you need someone to talk to...."

"I'm not mental." She replied. I breathed in heavily still leaning against the bench.

"I know you're not baby girl." I said momentarily. "But I don't understand what could've gone on to make this happen. Just tell me."

"No."

I sighed. "Love, do you understand what you did?"

"Do." She corrected. "You can take my blades but that doesn't mean anything will change..." Her voice got quieter as she spoke and I didn't even have to ask why. Tellie was never really the kind of kid to back talk or argue when she was being spoken to. I tell her to do something, she did it, I yelled at her for something, she took it, she never really argued with me. On an odd occasion she did, but she never lasted long.

"Let's talk about this sweetie." I said finally, I sat on the chair opposite her watching as she chewed her lip. "Do you understand what you've been doing to yourself?"

"Yes..."

"Why did you do it?"

"You said I didn't have to tell you anything else-" I cut her off.

"Tellie I'm trying to understand what this is so I need you to cooperate." I said bluntly, Tellie got to her feet tears in her eyes. "Sit back down T.J." Tellie just stalked out of the room, and I didn't stop her.

*

Eleanor looked like she was going to break down the moment I told her Tellie had been cutting since May. And honestly I couldn't blame it. Knowing it had gone on for that long made my stomach churn. How could Tellie not have told me anything?

"I have so failed as a parent-al figure." Eleanor muttered. "Did she show you her wrist? Or..."

"She showed me..." I replied the imagine of Tellie's scared wrist forming in my mind.

"I-I don't get it. I really don't get it."

"Neither."

"She's got no reason to do that to herself."

"Well, there's no reason we know off but there is reasons she doesn't know of." I countered looking from Eleanor to the TV.

"I'm lost," She replied. "Reason she doesn't know off?"