Before I Met You (DESTIEL HIGHSCHOOL AU)

Chapter 38

Deans POV

The sight before me was one that I would have difficulty removing from my memory, sure it's not as bad as it could be, but as a person who does not fare well in hospitals, it made me sick to my stomach.

His entire torso was covered in bandages, some of which had been stained red. I don't recall there being any blood when Anthony had practically mauled him, but I guess I was in such a state of panic, I wasn't able to decipher the situation clearly.

His face had already started to develop bruises. There were some cuts and scrapes scattered across his visible skin. Underneath the bandages, who knows what else there was. I know for sure when he was attacked that there was a crack, so I'm assuming a bone was broken, although I'm unsure of what. Based on the thickness of the bandages wrapped around his abdomen, he probably broke a few ribs.

I stopped thinking for a moment, and focussed on walking towards Cas. I took a step forward, but was startled by a sound, someone like a grunt, that came from the body lying before me. As a result of the unexpected sound, I jumped backwards. I took a deep breath, regaining my composure. This was all really difficult for me, seeing my boyfriend in this state. After a few more deep breaths, I managed to continue forward.

I walked slowly, from the doorway to the edge of the bed. His lower body was positioned in a way that left some room on the bed for me to sit down, so instead of pulling up a chair and making a bunch of noise, I just sat on the bed. My arm extended from my body, warily, as I went to place it ever so gently on Cas' leg. I gently moved my hand up and down, with my finger tips only grazing his skin that rested below his hospital gown.

"Nice to see you," a voice croaked. I jumped again, and my eyes began darting all around the room to find out who said it. Moments after hearing that, I realized it was none other, than Castiel.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"High... They've got me on quite a bit of pain meds," Cas said. The words that left his mouth had a bit of an unusual slur on them, so it was evident that he was on some sort of medication that made him think differently somehow.

I smiled at him. "I can tell. Do you remember anything?"

"Not of the most recent event. I only know Anthony attacked me and broke three of my ribs, because a nurse told me. I do remember something else though..." The volume trailed off to towards the end, and knowing Cas as well as I do, that means something.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What do you remember?"

His eyes, which had been looking into mine until this point, had darted away, looking at the ticking clock on the wall. "I remember you telling me you loved me..."

My eyebrows rose inquisitively. I had no idea what he was talking about. "I don't think I ever said that."

"You did. After I..." He paused briefly, but what he said next filled my stomach with even more dread. "After I had attempted suicide, you told met. I was unconscious and you told me you loved me."

It took me a moment, but I do recall what he's talking about. I did say that. My eyes left his, and rested on the floor. What did I say now?

I felt a hand touch mine, and looked over to see Cas' soft fingers linger over mine. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Did you mean it?"

It felt like time had stopped. I didn't know what to say. Did I mean it? I don't want to upset him, but I'm so confused. I don't know what to say. I don't even know how he knew that, because he was unconscious when I said that.

"It was probably just a spur of the moment thing.. I'd lean more towards saying I didn't mean it," I said too quickly. Was it believable? Did I even believe myself? I sighed mentally. It seemed as though I wasn't sure about anything anymore.

For the last time that night, his eyes left mine, but just before they did, I saw the twinkle in them falter. It was like the last morsel of hope had left his eyes. "Oh," he replied, nonchalantly. Or what he was hoping was nonchalance.. Little do you know, Cas, I can see straight threw you. I can tell what you're thinking. Was it disappointment, hidden in your reply? What else could I  have been?

(A/N Sorry, I know it's a crappy way to end the chapter but I can't think of anything else. Thank you for 4K😘😘)