Insanity | A Hobbit Fanfiction

Bonus Chapter 10

I just wanted to say again that this is THE LAST BONUS CHAPTER.

Unless any of you have ideas for me, the next update won't be or another month or so until DoS comes out.

Enjoy the chapter, I have more to say after it xxx

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"Elves," Thorin spat. "Why did it have to be /elves/?"

"Prejudices reveal a lot about a person, Thorin."

He whirled around. "It's not /prejudice/. I have my reasoning."

"But it's still your own biased opinion." Zephira leaned against the doorway. "Nice room you've got here."

"It would be better if it wasn't Elvish." He muttered.

"Oh... cad a crawled suas do asal agus fuair sé bás?" *What crawled up your ass and died?*

Thorin blinked. "Beg your pardon."

"Well, you get mad at me when I swear at you. Or insult you. So, I'll say things in my native tongue and you can't say anything about it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"You'll have no idea if I'm insulting you or complimenting you." She walked forewords. "I could even be telling you all the dirty things I want to do to you."

Thorin swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "You want to do dirty things to me?"

"It was an example."

"And that wasn't an answer."

"Bhfuil tú ag gceannas ar tiubh."

"What does that mean?"

"You're thick headed." She looked him up and down. A small grin played at her lips. "Is é do cheann eile ach tiubh mar?"

"And that?"

"Thick. Head." Her eyes trailed down again. "Dirty joke. Take a guess." She looked up at him again.

At some point she had gotten closer and was now directly in front of Thorin.

His mouth opened slightly. "I... Uh..."

"Yes?"

"Could... You teach me some things in Witch?"

She gave him a skeptical look. "Why?" She drew the word out.

He shrugged a shoulder. "I want to learn some."

"I have an easier way than me /teaching/ you." She said, and raised her arms up to hold his head in her hands, on on either side.

"Uh..."

"Shh," she closed her eyes. "Close your eyes. Focus,"

He did as he was told. "On what?"

"On the words." She said.

And then there were words flying through his mind.

"Focus on what you want to say. Grab at the words."

He thought hard, and then the words were there. "Fhéachann tú anocht go leor álainn." *You look quite beautiful tonight*

She smirked, eyes remaining closed. "Buíochas a ghabháil leat." *thank you*

Then the words vanished, and Thorin stumbled back a step. "I- ah!- my head hurts."

"Yes, and it'll do that until the morning. You have until then to say whatever you want in my tongue. Then, you'll forget all the words."

"Huh," he said. He paused. "Chomaoin agat dom chomhlánú." *You owe me a complement*

She raised an eyebrow, lifting her one leg to sit on the edge of Thorins bed. "An bhfuil mé?" *Do I?*

"Yes."

"Hm?"

"I gave you one. Now you give me one. That's normally how it works."

She laughed through closed lips. "Ah, but I am not normal."

"I know that." He said obviously.

Zephira laughed aloud. "Try to be more blunt next time." She teased.

"Is such a thing possible?"

"No, I don't suppose it is."

Zephira snorted. "You're very... Unsubtle."

"And you're very pre-" He caught himself. "...Eccentric."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're quite hand- discourteous." She mocked him, knowing what he had almost said.

He frowned. "Well... You're fatuous."

"Oi!"

"Oh I'm sorry, do you not know what that means?"

"I /know/ what it means." She growled. "But I fail to see how I am silly and pointless."

"I fail to see how I am discourteous."

"You insult elves even as they give us accommodations. They could have told us to leave."

"I wish they had."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do."

"You wouldn't have this lovely bed, then." She threw her arms out, and fell back onto it. She raised her head to look at him. "You wouldn't want to share, would you?"

"W- I beg your pardon?"

Zephira sighed, and hopped to her feet. "I am trying to subtly ask you to have sex with me, but apparently it isn't working."

Thorin choked on his own breath. "You're /what/?"

She went up to him, grabbing his arms and pulling him towards the bed behind her. "Come on, Thorin. I know the way you look at me. The way you watch me when I walk."

Her knees his the edge of the bed and she sank down onto it, Thorin on top of her.

He was speechless.

"I'll take that as a yes?" She asked, and kissed him.

"Thorin?"

His head eyes snapped open and he jumped. "Balin. What is it?"

"Elrond wishes to speak with us."

"Of course he does." He rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were asleep." Balin said apologetically.

"It is fine." He said. "Just..." He shifted awkwardly. "Give me a few minutes to collect myself."

Balin nodded and closed the door behind him.

Thorin groaned and slid down further into his Elvish bed.

"What was /that/?" He asked himself quietly. He shifted his hips again, trying to ignore the obvious.

"Oh, damn it all!" He finally muttered, and reached down to take care of himself before anyone else decided to barge in on him.

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Ehehehehe :$

So as I was saying at the top, I am out of bonus chapters. I do however have 2 real chapters that I wanted to get done before DoS came out, because I had an idea and needed to get it down.

That being said, I can either post them BEFORE DoS comes out, say in another week or so and then another week after that, OR, I can post them AFTER DoS comes out, because I don't know how long it will take me to write more chapters after I see the movie.

So, lovely readers, this is up to you.

Lets have a vote!

Let me know if you want more now, or later.

Thanks xxx