Chapter 1

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Thorin Oakenshield was pissed. Dain had not only refused to accompany him on his quest to reclaim Erebor, but had laughed and told him it was impossible.

He stormed down the halls of his cousins home, going deeper and deeper into the ground. He passed by the doors to the dungeons, and stopped; a strange sound had come from there.

Laughter. /Laughter/ from in the dungeons? He shook his head. He must be hearing things. He started to walk, but then he heard it again, a cackling laughter. Female, by the sound of it, he thought, and it wasn't happy, either. It sounded... Off. He started down the long hallway, curious.

He got halfway down before he heard it again. The laughter was followed by the sound of chains clinking together. "Thoooooorin," came a drawling voice. "Thooooorin,"

He paused, eyes wide. "How do you know me?"

"Ahh, so it is you."

"How do you know who I am?"

"Who doesn't know the King Under The Mountain... Who hasn't even got himself a mountain anymore!"

He walked forewords. He started looking in cells. "Where are you? /Who/ are you?" Each cell was empty. He came to the last one, the largest, at the very end of the hallway.

"I'm right here." The voice said obviously. "Where else would I be? In a /regular/ cell?" She laughed. "Noo, Dain wouldn't risk that. Noo no no, but he doesn't know, does he? Mm, good thing he doesn't. Else I'd probably not be here. Talking to you."

Thorin reached the last cell. He peered into it. "What are you talking abou- GAH!" He jumped back as a face popped out out of nowhere. It was a... Girl?

She cackled with laughter again. "Ohh! Ohh, you should've seen your face! Ahhh!" She was bent over with laughter, and sounded deranged.

"Who. Are. You?" Thorin asked again.

She stood up, and he finally got a good look at her. She wasn't very tall, so not and elf. She wasn't a dwarf either, or a man. Or a halfling. That would mean...

"You're a witch."

"Oooh, he guessed it! Bravo, bravo, master dwarf!" She smiled, but it looked more like she was baring her teeth. She looked like some kind of feral animal. Her clothes were torn and dirty, her hair was coated in dirt and wild around her shoulders. It probably would've fallen halfway down her back, but it was so unkempt that it only fell to just past her collarbone. It looked dark brown, but Thorin thought he saw light blonde peeking through. She noticed him staring at her. "Hideous, aren't I? Yes, I'm not in the best shape right now." She looked him in the eye.

"I'll ask again. Who..." His voice trailed off as he stared at her face. She was covered in bruises and dirt and blood. "What happened to you?"

"What happened to me?" She looked at him angrily, then screamed, "What /happened/ to me?"

Thorin took a step back, but she lunged forewords and grabbed him by the front if his shirt through the bars of her cell. "What do you /think/ happened to me?! I fell down a goddamn set of stairs?! No!" Her accent seemed to get stronger as she talked.

"Let me go!" Thorin exclaimed, struggling against her.

"I was captured from my clan by goblins! Goblins! And they tortured me! Then, your cousin comes along, and captures me /from/ the goblins!" She pulled him closer to her, so their noses were almost touching. Her eyes were crazed, blazing blue. "HE TORTURED ME TOO!" She screamed in his face. "HE TORTURED ME TOO! He-he tortured me... Too..." She let him go and stumbled back, shaking.

Thorin fell, tripping over his own feet. He looked over at the witch, who was sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs. She was muttering to herself.

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