Dyani

Part 20

While I was cooking, our father came into the kitchen.

‘Hi Dyani, are you okay?’ he said, he still sounded like he felt guilty.

‘Not really, would you sign my absence paper, I went to the doctor,’ I said, quite distantly.

‘Why did you go to the doctor?’ he asked, surprised.

‘Because of the wounds on my back, but I didn’t tell the doctor how I got them.’

‘Okay, but where do you have wounds?’ he asked, though he probably knew the answer. I pulled my top over my head, mostly to scare him, I wanted him to see what he did to me, while he was still feeling guilty. I slid the paper to him, which I had put on the countertop earlier. He was still looking at my wounds and bruises, so I put my top back on and he signed the paper.

‘Thank you.’

I made up two plates and put them on the dinner table for my father and Thijn.

‘I have to get to work now, I’ll see you tonight,’ I said.

I put my bag on my shoulder and while passing through the kitchen I grabbed my piece of chicken, so I would have something to eat before I’d start working. Just past six thirty I arrived and I got to work immediately. During my long hours, I received several messages, some from Gabriella and most of them were from Charley. Asking me what I was doing and how I was doing. I really felt like telling him what my father had done to me, but I was afraid he would ask me to meet with him. Since all this started I had only once told him my father had hit me in the face, I never told him about the beatings. In my texts I twisted around the questions. Just telling him my back hurt and my head was throbbing, but not telling him it was because my father had hurt me. He did ask how I got the pain, but I would tell him that I didn’t know. During my break I had wanted to look at the book, but I didn’t get the chance, Jennifer came to ask me if I could help with serving people. I had immediately come to her aid, because she would always pay a little more if I helped her in the restaurant.

At the end of the evening, Jennifer asked me to stay behind for a moment.

‘Without you, this day would have been a big disaster,’ she said.

I was glad I had been able to help her and helping her in the restaurant would give me a bigger paycheck at the end of the month.

‘I never got around to ask you how you are coping,’ she said, while she locked the restaurant doors.

We had just gone outside and our colleagues had left only a few minutes before.

‘It depends on the moment, so much is happening that sometimes I almost forget and then of course immediately I feel guilty. I miss her every moment though, even when I had other things in mind, I always miss her. Sometimes I really want to cry and just call out her name, but I can’t.’

Without another word, Jennifer came over to me and pulled me into a big hug. Even though I had seen her coming and I knew what was going to happen. I couldn’t have prepared myself for the pain that emanated through my back. I cried out a little “Yelp” and startled she let go of me.

‘Did I hurt you?’

‘Ehm.. Just a little, but it’s fine now. Don’t worry,’ I said trying to keep it light.

‘Are you sure?’

She didn’t believe me, but well.. who was I kidding, I wouldn’t even believe myself right now.

‘I’m sure, it was nothing,’ I said, trying to give her a reassuring smile.

‘I’m gonna go,’ I said, mounting my bike.

‘See you tomorrow.’

I had put my earphones in, so I could listen to the music on my telephone, there were only examples of music on the device. At least I had something to listen to. Suddenly my music stopped and another sound came through the earbuds. I got my phone from my pocket and saw Charley was the caller. I swiped the screen to answer his call.

‘Charley?’ I asked, a little surprised.

‘Hey..’ he said softly.

‘A little louder, I’m on my bike. I might not hear you if you whisper,’ I said cheerfully.

‘You sound happy,’ he noted, a little louder than before.

I hadn’t yet realised that the fact that he was calling me, really did make me happier.

‘I guess you cheer me up,’ I replied.

‘I’m glad I could be of service. So how are you doing?’

‘You are the second person to ask me that within the hour. It varies. At the moment I’m tired, happy you called and I miss mom like crazy. Is it possible to feel all those things at once?’

‘If you feel it, I guess so. How is your back?’

‘It’ll feel better in the morning,’ I muttered, not wanting to go on about it.

‘Okay. Will you be online?’ he asked.

‘No and I’ll have to hang up now too. I’m home and it’s past three, everyone is sleeping and I desperately need some sleep. We can text tomorrow?’

‘I’ll be happy too. Goodnight. I’ll be here for you if you need me, just a phone call away.’

‘Thank you.’

We disconnected and I got off my bike, which I put in the backyard. I turned around, almost tripping over Elmo, who seemed very happy to see me, I picked him up from the ground and he rubbed his sweet little head against my jaw. He didn’t know that hurt, so I would never blame him, but it really did hurt. In the house, all the lights were off. The living room was empty so my father was sleeping already. I was really happy for that, I didn’t want him to apologize and just continue to beat me after. I had noticed that he mostly seemed to have those outbursts, after drinking a lot. I tiptoed to my bedroom and while I climbed the stairs, my mood dropped. I knew neither Jennifer nor Charley had the intention to make me feel bad, but because of their worry I really missed my mother. She had always been there for me and always knew how to make me feel better. I wished I could just hug her one more time, but that would never happen again.