Love is just a formula

Chapter Ten

AVA

I watch Thalia walk out, forcing myself to not scream for her to stop and to not jump up and tell her how I feel and how it's torturing me. Instead I let her go.

When she asked me why I wanted to know why she kissed me, I wanted to reply with 'because I want to know how you feel.. I want to know that it wasn't just a dare, or in the moment thing.' And, when she asked me why I kissed her back I wanted to say 'because you stopped my thinking process.. Because despite everything warning me that this, us, is a bad idea, I can't help but be attracted to you, in every way possible.' But I knew if I said those words to her there would be no going back. Her compliments weren't just words to me, I get compliments similar to those often. From her, those words sent shivers through my body and made my heart race and the blood flow to my face.

I sigh, and close my eyes. What the hell am I to do? I think, It's illegal, true, and I can get in so much trouble, but hasn't literally every movie and every romance novel taught me that it doesn't matter who you are, what you do, where you are, what people tell you and what the circumstance is, if you want someone (more if you love someone but I can't use those word with Thalia, not yet anyways) then you shouldn't let anything stop you from having them (in a non creepy way).

I groan out loud in frustration, and snatch up my phone and call Emma. Just as I stand to start pacing the room, she answers.

"Hey pumpkin, what's up?" She says chirpily.

"I don't know what to do Em!! I've tried to ignore her but I really can't, I spoke to her and apologized for kissing her back, and guess what?! I've come to the realization that I'm NOT sorry for kissing her back. I haven't felt so free and so happy in so long, and she makes me feel that way!! When the I'm with her everything fades into something that doesn't matter. I really like this girl Em, I know it's illegal but I really fucking like her," I say all in a rush, and hearing it out loud makes me realize how true it is. The other side of the call is silent.

"Em? Are you still there?" I ask, after a long silence.

"Yes I am, I'm just thinking," she says, and after a short pause she continues "I'm just so confused, you don't ever and haven't ever gone for someone younger, and this girl in like 9 years younger then you. I just don't want to see my best friend behind bars, is this teenager worth that?"

"She causes me to not think straight, I want to break the rules for her," I say.

"She's just gone break your heart, she's nothing but trouble." Emma says and I start to get annoyed with her negativity.

"You don't even know her Em," I say, some what defensive.

"What do you want me to say Ava? That you should go for it?" She exclaims. I stay silent, unable to answer. What did I want her to say?

"Think back to when you were a teen, when we were her age all we could think and talk about was boys and girls and drama and school! We weren't mature enough for a proper adult relationships! What makes you think she is? And you hardly know her Ava." She sort of snaps, and I can here all the reason in her voice.

"You're right.." I say quietly, knowing that being stubborn and arguing with her will get me no where. After all she is, as always, completely correct.

"I'm sorry Av, I don't want to be right," she says earnestly.

"What do I do?" I say.