Love is just a formula

Chapter Eight

AVA

"I'm sorry, please repeat yourself, you DID WHAT?" Emma exclaims.

"You head me the first time," I say throwing back my third shot of the night. After the week I've had, I called Emma to meet me at a pub, which is where we're at now.

"You KISSED your student?" Emma confirms in a question like form.

"She came onto me in my defense," I mutter, gesturing to the barmen for another shot.

"That is no excuse, you let her kiss you! What were you thinking Ava?!? She's a minor! The age gap is what? 8 years? Not to mention the fact that she's your fucking student!! You could get fired and lose any chance of getting a future job!! AND on top of that, you could go to jail." I knew I'd get a lecture from Emma, which is sort of what I need. I need someone to set me straight, even though I had told myself all the things she is telling me I need to hear it from someone else.

"I wasn't thinking, that's the thing Emma. She took my breath away." I say. I hadn't told Emma about the fact I suspect I might have feelings for Thalia, I just told her about our kiss.

"What?" Emma says.

"You really think I'd just let anybody, never mind a student, kiss me?" I say turning to her. She pauses as she considers this, she knows me. She knows I'd never do that.

"This girl.. I don't know her to describe her. Besides the fact that she looks older then she is, she acts older then she is. She's rational, and mature, and she's funny. She makes me laugh unlike anyone ever has Em, and she's so beautiful.." I say starring into my fourth shot of tequila, before throwing it back like the rest. I glance at Emma, who's staring at me with her mouth open and her eyes wide.

"What?" I say rolling my eyes.

"Are you saying you have feelings for your student?" She asks.

"What? No! I never said that! Well.. I don't know! Yes? No I mean, of course I don't.. Oh god.." I groan and shut my eyes and message my temples.

"Jesus Ava.." Sighs Emma.

"What do I do Em??" I ask her in a plea, my eyes searching hers me my arms dropping to my sides.

"Listen, you know why you and her could never work out. There's way to many negative consequences, it's to risky. I think the best thing to do is tell her that nothing can happen again, and that kissing her back was a mistake and you were confused, you can't tell her how you feel because that'll just get her hopes up. And from now on just treat her like a regular student." Emma says finally. I listen to her words and they make sense, her plan is definitely the most reasonable and straight forward thing I can go with as of right now, so I nod in a agreement.

"You're right.." I say sighing. This also means I should stop her from being my TA.. Maybe ask Isabella to be my TA instead, just to get the message across.

"I'm sorry," Emma says, resting a hand over mine. I meet her apologetic look with a soft smile.

"It's okay Em, I'll be fine." I say.

The rest of my weekend I spend with Emma, getting drunk on Friday night, sleeping over at her place and then getting over our hangovers on Saturday morning before going to Emma's parents for lunch. Kayla joins us on Sunday for breakfast, and Emma and I catch her up on my current situation. She however is more interested in what the Thalia looks like, wether she was a good kisser and if I got turned on. It made me laugh to see Emma lecturing Kayla about how I could lose my job, and Kayla whining about wanting to know the gory details.

Monday morning I get up and do my usual morning routine, dressing is black jeans and a black blouse, also tying my hair in a high pony tail and deciding to wear my glasses the whole day today. As I look in the mirror I chuckle. I literally look like the type of teacher one would find in a porn magazine.

My first few periods drag on, but they're Thalia free. The closer my class containing Thalia gets, the more agitated I feel. What do I say to her? How to a phrase what I want to say correctly? What if she makes another move, will I be able to resist?

I wait until the last minute of my break until leaving the teachers lounge and making my way to my classroom. My eyes dart to the usual seat Thalia takes up at the front, where she normally is sitting, waiting for my lesson to begin. However the seat is empty, and I ignore the slight dropping feeling in my heart.

I place my books and bag down on my desk and take a seat, smiling a smile that doesn't reach further then my face as the students file in. The bell rings, singling the beginning of class and I stand and start with my lecture. Only five minutes through teaching the class do I notice Thalia, sitting in a far back corner, writing notes and keeping her head down and eyes on her exam pad. My stomach flips and I nearly forget My sentence. I recover and pull my eyes away from her perfect curly dark hair and perfectly plucked eyebrows. I also ignore the tingle I feel on my lips.

There's no way I'll be able to bring myself to talk to her yet. I need some more time to compose myself. You're a full grown women who needs to compose herself because of one kiss.. From a girl you've only know what? A month and a bit? I think to myself sourly.

I don't need to rush to get out the classroom to avoid confrontation from Thalia, because she's out the class as fast as all the other eager students. I guess she won't confront me.. I probably scared her off..
She must either be way to embarrassed or shy, or she's just respecting my space. Or both.

I sigh and sit down heavily. So much for having a calm year, I guess it doesn't matter how old you are, the most drama in life is found at high school.

On Tuesday Thalia didn't show up for the debating club, and on Wednesday she again slipped into the class with all the other students and sat at the back, very quite and not raising a hand to answer any questions. Friday came around and again she worked with Cade as her lab partner and Elsa found another friend to be lab partners with.

The whole weekend I spent by myself, excluding the phone calls and video chats I made to my brothers and sister and parents. I didn't need my dearest friends to distract me with alcohol and cheerfulness and good words of advice on my current problem. I'd already had a weekend of them.

For the first time, I thought carefully about what I needed to say to Thalia, and I also thought about why this situation happened in the first place and why I was so confused about it.

I was no longer worried of being sent to jail or being fired, if Thalia wanted that to happen it would've happened. Plus in the few weeks I had gotten to know her, I'd learnt that she was mature and smart and she wouldn't just ruin someone's life for the hell of it. I also highly doubt anyone else knew, other wise I wouldn't be in the comfort of my own home, I'd be in a police department.

I admit it to myself, I find Thalia extremely attractive. Her athletic figure, beautiful curves, amazing eyes, complexing skin, adorable smile, perfect hair.. And she doesn't act like a teenager. I mean I'm sure she's probably smoking pot and drinking on her weekends but I'm an adult and I still sometimes do that. Just about everyone goes through that stage.
Something about her catches my eye, and I admit. I have a crush on her, and if she was maybe a co worker or someone I met outside of work and she was maybe three or four years older I would full on go for her. But she's underage and my student.

Maybe if she wasn't gay, (or bisexual, I'm not clear on her sexuality), and if she hadn't of made a move on me or shown the type of flirty attitude she had, I would be in a controllable space. But right now my body is yearning for her touch, and itching out of anticipation of what her fingers would feel like on my skin, and I crave her lips on mine again. It has been a very long time since I last felt this way.

I know that I need to lose this lust for her, and I also need to find closure and talk to her, and I now know what I have to say.

I think about all this while sitting at my desk, tapping a pen on the wooden surface, my eyes watching the clock as I wait for my grade twelve students to file in.

$AUTHORS NOTE&
Hey readers, sorry about the short chapter. Also, sorry about not updating regularly, I'm just updating whenever I've finished a chapter. I'm also sure you've noticed that Thalia's chapters are longer then Ava's.. I guess I just like writing from Thalia's point of view. Anyways, hope you're enjoying the story!!