hoodwink -- bts

chapter thirty two [play pretend]

What did I want?

What was it that I needed?

This directionless path I tread on for months could twist into a new future that held meaning and possibly happiness.

With just one statement, I could be free. But the price I've paid to merely stay alive has taken too big of a toll on my body. My sensitive eyes lowered to my broken leg where it had been wrapped carefully, blood still soaking through and staining the white bandage.

They've stolen it all from me. The last inkling of pride, of hope that I could conjure had been obliterated already.

In essence, there was no way I could return to a normal lifestyle.

'I want you to tell me the truth.' Each word felt like a stone, weighing me down like the heavy gravitational forces.

He shifted in his seat while maintaining his composure. The glint of intrigue was hard to miss in his tired eyes.

'I never intended to meet you. Once I moved to this small university-oriented town, I was keen on finishing school and leading a normal type of life, you know, one with a good job and marrying later on. One where I could raise children of my own and support them until they'd leave me to start their own lives.' A small sliver of a tear escaped my eyes, but his unsympathetic eyes urged me to go on.

My voice wavered slightly.

'Maybe I could retire and live out the rest of my life line until the day I die. I'm an ordinary girl who wishes of nothing more than to have a normal life. You cannot say that you understand what I want-'

His hoarse voice interrupted my speech as he leaned forward slightly in his seat.

'Don't assume, girl. I know what it feels like to be used, to be shackled down to a person without any means of running away. I know what being in love feels like, I've known this feeling for years now.' The volume of his voice rose with each sentence, and I could now see the hurt and pent up frustration project onto me.

'So don't ever believe for one second that I don't know what you have to endure, Ji-U. The feelings you had for me were never genuine, you only wanted to have casual flings with the rest of my housemates to get back at me for using you.'

I was silent for a few moments, feeling the simmer of the conversation erupt into flames. We were surrounded by our rage towards each other. We could not move forward.

'Jungkook told me once that he had loved me.'

He snorted in disbelief.

'Jungkook was fucked up as a child. He doesn't even know what love it. Are you really so naive to believe that a young man who has laid with his own sister is intent on loving you?'

'He loved me more than you ever will, Kim Taehyung!' I couldn't control the shout that left my lips, more tears spilling on their own account.

'God, you've only been capable of making me feel terrible since I've been here. I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you!'

The proud gaze he had kept up for so long was quick to change. He was hurt, shocked and seemed mortified at my words. His gaze would not leave my own, but the depth to them reminded me oddly of Jimin's the day he had been talking about Sae-Bin.

It was cold and lonely all together.

'Listen-'

'Freedom, is that what you really want?' Standing, he walked over to examination table I was placed on, hands placed in his pocket.

The smell of cigarettes wafted off his form, familiarity engulfing me again.

'No Taehyung, I want to love you.' I reached out to him, grasping onto his loose shirt with all the strength I had left.

He took a step back, removing my fingers and shamefully staring down.

'You don't know what love is either, Ji-U.'

'No, I don't, but I want to experience it with you.'

The expression he wore was difficult to read, a battle of emotions boiling within him. Again, he stepped in, closer this time, and eyed me with such intensity that I was ready to accept whatever his answer was.

But instead of words, he pressed his lips to my cheek and placed his forehead against mine. I peeled my eyes open and tried to focus on his amber shaded eyes, the warmth radiating from his body.

And he had flashed me the most sorrowful of smiles.

Before he could say his next statement, the door opened, revealing Namjoon and Yoongi who seemed rather startled at our positioning.

Taehyung took a careful step back, ridding of the soft facial expression and replacing it with a serious one.

Namjoon cleared his throat.

'Taehyung-'

Before he could finish, a youthful looking girl stepped out from between them, holding onto the sleeves of her shirt in a shy manner.

She was beautiful.

'Bunny?' Her violet eyes locked with Taehyung's and she gave him a tiny smile.

'Surprise.'

'What...?' Taehyung's confused eyes shifted from her to Namjoon and then back again.

Yoongi was first to speak up. 

'She came in this morning, and we tried to ask how she could possibly be alive, but she doesn't seem to remember anything but you.' 

The girl nodded her head, glancing over to me and frowning in disdain before latching onto Taehyung.

'I woke this morning, but the only thing I could seem to think about was before the war. I wanted to find you and Namjoon's phone number was placed on the desk next to the bed. My parents were gone.'

She spoke in a softer tone, shuffling her feet.

'I also remember the argument we had that night. I'm real sorry Taehyung.'

Muddled in his deep thoughts, Taehyung brushed off her hands and hurriedly left the room in search of something-or someone. 

Bunny sniffed and looked toward my leg, her eyes narrowing in disgust. 

'What the hell happened to you?'

Shrugging, I merely tossed her comment to the side. 

'Was in an accident.'

'I know that!,' she snapped. 'What kind of accident?' 

My eyes looked towards Yoongi, and he held it with a cold gaze.

'I was running away. It's all I seem to be doing these days.'

-

song for the chapter - goodbye-who is fancy

hehe slow updates

-danny&elise