19*Paybacks A Bitch

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-Dedicated to sad people like me, it's okay, you're not alone-
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I sit on my bed, ice cream in my hand and Channing Tatum on my laptop screen. I'm currently watching Magic Mike to keep my sprites up while stuffing my face with the creamy, cold dessert when my door bell rings, causing me to slightly groan in annoyance at my disturbance.

Dad left a couple hours ago and left me in the house so I frown, not expecting anyone. I grumpily get up from my bed and trudge down the spiral stairs before gaping at the person who is standing on other side of the door, my body still subconsciously moving towards the door.

"Quinn?" I whisper once I opened the door.

She gives me a small smile and holds out chocolate and magazines. "I've come to see my bestie."

I choke back a cry and let her in, closing the door and leading her towards my room. She sits on my bed, dropping her gifts on my bedside table. I knew the moment we became friends as little girls that she's in this for life, I knew she's the one for me.

"So babe, what's wrong?" Quinn asks and opens her arms, letting me curl up into them and cry out my anger, sadness and fears.

"I really like him. I like Jay."

She smiles widely but frowns when I cry harder into her arms, tighten her grip around me, comforting me but nothing is helping, I can still feel a hole in my heart. "So?"

"He asked about what happened, Quinn. He asked me. I can't tell him, he'll leave." I sob, uncontrollably. "He'll be so disgusted with who I am. I'm disgusted with who I am."

"Oh, babe." She tightens her arms around me and I cry harder before pushing her away from me and brushing my tears off my face, trying to calm down my sadness and frustration that has built within me.

"I need to tell you." I whisper. "I need to get it off my chest."

Everything is spilt to her and she listens without interrupting. I tell her everything that has happened between Jay and I, the weight of my shoulder lessening slightly but not too drastically. I don't look at her, half ashamed and half scared about her facial expression, and once I finish, I sit there, waiting for a reply.

A moment of silence goes by and I still don't look up then I hear a sigh of despair and on then do I look up. I notice how her big brown eyes have dimmed slightly as if my pain is hurting her and the way the colour on her cheeks faded due her sadness that she felt towards me. I can read her like a book and she can do the same. That's why when she tucks a strand of golden hair behind my ear and gives me the softest of smile, I know that she fully understands why I do what I do.

"You got to tell him, Paris. He's so confused and scared about your relationship with him. Please, tell him, he's so good for you. You both need each other. Don't forget, Paris, Jay had been through shit too."

Quinn opens up her arms again and I don't hesitate to curl back within her safety. I don't reply as she speaks, I don't say anything but I do listen because I know she's right, and that's what I've been fearing for quite a while.

"He'll understand you better than anyone else."


Quinn left after a while, saying she had a date to go to. A flush of redness covered her cheeks when I pestered her about but she revealed nothing and instead sent me a mischievous grin and winked.

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell."

So here I am, alone in my room while watching Magic Mike again, appreciating Channing Tatum and his glorious body since it really cheered me up. After a while, I begin to feel claustrophobic in my bed and memories are suffocating me so I decide to get and change and go for a walk to the pier.

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