Ask Alex 2 ~A Wattpad Advice Column~

My family is so screwed up

Hi there Alex,

I've been having problems with my family. And I just can't stand it. I'm 13, and my family is so screwed up. My mother can't go a day without yelling at me, and my dad doesn't care, I keep telling myself "don't get mad, don't get mad".

How do I get the family together? Sometimes I feel I have the responsibility to 'defend' them because well, the rich and talented parents of my classmates at school doesn't exactly lift my self-esteem.

What would you do Alex?

-AnnoyedIrritatedSad

__________

Dear AnnoyedIrritatedSad, 

To be honest.. when I was 13 I was in a place similar to where you are right now. My "mom" yelled at me.. had mean comments to say all the time.. she basically did this not only at 13 but most of my life and I didn't lash out at her.. I was angry, yeah but I didn't want to show it like how your telling yourself don't get mad. Now it's good that you don't want to get mad because you don't want things to get more messy than they are right? See the problem though with holding in all that anger is that one day your going to snap. Or well one day your just going to cripple that madness slowly into your life and I really don't want to see that happen to you because it did to me. Now why I'm telling you this? Because you asked what I would do and in your situation what I did was try to ignore it and keep living even though I was exploding inside. What I would do now? Differently is that I would have told my mom off. I would have defended myself. I would have let my frustration show. I would have got mad because I was mad instead of feeling weak. I would have showed that she couldn't mess with me but since I didn't she kept doing it over and over and over again knowing that it affected me the way it did. Now, I don't expect you to follow that advice because I don't know how that will end up.. I can't see into your future and say "Oh that's the way you need to go in order to fix this." I can only say that if you do end up taking my advice just prepare yourself for what their reaction would be. Every family is not perfect. My family is screwed up like most other teenager's families and you know what? It's really okay. It's apart of who we are and who they are and you can't choose your family but you can choose whether or not you love or hate them. And that's why families are so screwed up. Most families want to tear each other up and that's okay because it shows that we all are human. We all have out opinions and our own thoughts and the actions we choose to take. I know that you may feel like you dad doesn't care but I'm sure he does, he just doesn't know how to show it. I'd talk to him about how you feel and tell your mom. I'd sit them down or if you guys are all around then just end up talking about something random leading up to that conversation. Also one last thing. Other families of your classmates don't concern you. We all have out own lives, don't compare it to someone who has a little more than you because even if they do it's not as valuable to the person carrying all those nice things on their shoulder if that makes sense. 

I hope this was helpful to you c:

Alex