It's been 22 days since Megan woke up, 36 days since I woke up and 57 days since Katy died. Megan refused to eat today. I have collected 12 pills. I've thrown my Nintendo against the wall
It's been 23 days since Megan woke up, 37 days since I woke up and 58 days since Katy died. Megan still refuses to eat. I have collected 16 pills. My mom got mad at me for throwing my stuff against walls.
It's been 24 days since Megan woke up, 38 days since I woke up and 59 days since Katy died. Megan got so dehydrated that the doctor decided to get her on an IV. I'm still collecting pills. I miss my Nintendo.
It's been 25 days since Megan woke up, 39 days since I woke up and 60 days since Katy died. Megan still does not talk. I have collected 22 pills. I finally got my phone back.
It's been 27 days since Megan woke up, 41 days since I woke up and 62 days since Katy died. Megan has to stay in the hospital for another 2 weeks. I have collected 26 pills. Tomorrow the doctor will say if I can finally leave the hospital.
It's been 28 days since Megan woke up, 42 days since I woke up and 63 days since Katy died. I haven't seen Megan all day. They stopped bringing me pills. The doctor will probably be here in a minute.
When the doctor walks in (30 minutes too late) he looks very hurried. Or worried, I'm not sure. 'Hey Eve,' he says but I interrupt him. 'Evelyn.' I say blankly. I don't want people to call me Eve anymore, only Katy could still do that. But Katy is gone so now no one can. 'Sorry, Evelyn, how are you feeling?' he asks not even looking at me. 'Never been better.' I say ironically. 'Well that's wonderful,' he says and I doubt if he even heard my answer. 'We'll see after tomorrow's tests if you can go home.' He then says and I stare at him in disbelief. Is he kidding? Did he literally came all the way up here just to tell me that he will know tomorrow morning if I can go home? Seriously?
'Is there anything that still hurts?' he asks. Well, my head hurts from overthinking everything, my lungs hurt from all the screaming, my eyes hurt from all the crying, oh and maybe my heart from being ignored all the time! 'No, I'm fine.' I say. 'Okay, that's great! Have some rest, goodnight.' He says and before I can even answer he's out of the room again.
When I wake up the next morning, both the nurse and the doctor are standing next to my bed. It's the kind nurse again. 'Hey sweetie, good news! You may go home today!' she exclaims happily. Wow, she's happy to see me go. 'Your mom is already contacted, she's picking you up by 11.' The doctor says and then, just like the other day, he's out of the room before I can even say a word. 'You can start packing your stuff, I'll leave you to it.' The nurse says and then she leaves the room as well.
I look at my phone, it's now 9 o'clock, which means I still have to survive 2 hours in this prison. I grab all my things (I don't have much stuff here though) and push everything into my backpack. Then I head to Megan's room. I haven't seen her in two days. When I walk into the room I instantly feel like crying. The way Megan looks right now, so damn thin, so damn weak, It makes me scared. She had been released from all the machines but now she's back at them. I can see that she has been crying as well.
'Hey,' I mumble. 'I- um, I'm leaving today.' I say a bit louder. She looks at me and I can see how dead her eyes are. She used to have clear blue eyes, now they're a scary and dark kind of blue. Almost black.
'Megan?' I ask while she keeps staring into my eyes. 'Megan, I'm going to assume that if you don't talk to me right now that you don't want me to come back to visit you.' Whilst saying this I know that she will answers, she has to, right? 'Just say something, anything at all, and I'll be here every single day to keep you company.' I wait for an answer. I'm sure she will start talking, she needs me just as much as I need her, right?
But the room stays quiet. Megan stays quiet.
'Megan?' I practically plead. She can't be serious, she needs me! I need her! I feel my heart beat rapidly against my chest. I stare at her in disbelieve.
And then suddenly she turns around. She turns her back to me! I feel my heart break into three million pieces.
'I can't believe you keep doing this to me.' I try to say but it comes out more like a whisper. I look one last time at the girl that I used to call my best friend and then I run out of the room. I don't stop running until I reach my room and stumble inside. I fall down onto the floor against my bed. I want to cry but I can't, all my tears are used. It feels like I'm choking but I don't fucking care anymore. I'm ready, I'm ready to die.
With shaking hands I reach out for my backpack and grab my jewellery box. I open it and take all the pills in my hand. 'I'm ready to go.' I repeat whispering. Megan doesn't want me and I'm sure my mom will be fine without me too. She's better off without me.
I will be with Katy and my brother again.
I sit down onto the bed and fill a glass with water. I stare at the pills in my shaking hand. I inhale deeply. I grab the glass and swallow them, all twenty-six. I swallow them all and hope that the world will now swallow me as well.
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Author's noteeeee:
I'm sorry
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Death. (behind the scenes)
Teen FictionYou're standing at the edge of your life - or what used to be your life, but do you jump? It's not only the struggle of not knowing, it's also a journey through your past. It's an emotional roller coaster between live and death. And most of all, i...
