Death. (behind the scenes)

Part 9

I open my eyes and I suddenly remember. I remember every single thing that happened in my life. I remember how I met Katy and Megan. I remember our first days at school together. I remember the other people in my class. I remember my grandma. I remember my dog, my first crush my first boyfriend. I remember my room, Katy's room, my school and even Megan's garden.

And I also remember my brother's funeral.

The thing I just saw, the accident, it took my brother's life.

I sit down to let my brain comprehend all the new information. I can't believe I forgot all of this. How could I forgot about my friends when they have been the most important support after my brother's death. Especially Megan and Katy have been a huge support. I remember how we all crashed on Katy's sofa after the funeral and that they cuddled me all night because I couldn't stop crying. I remember it all again now.

Somebody suddenly pokes my shoulder and when I look up I see two worried faces looking at me. 'Are you okay?' Katy asks. 'The thing you saw but couldn't tell me was about my brother, wasn't it?' I ask, a tear rolling down my cheek. They don't say anything, instead they sit down next to me and rest their heads on my shoulders. 'We're so sorry.' Megan whispers after a while. 'Thanks.' I mumble softly while tears keep running down my face.

We sit in silence for a while before Katy speaks up again. 'Hey sweetie, we've got through this once and we will get through this again, alright?' she says squeezing my hand. I squeeze back.

Megan and Katy then stand up and reach out. I take their hands and they gently pull me onto my feet as well. Then they pull me into another tight hug and I can feel the tears welling up again. 'Thank you so much.' I whisper into their hair and then we let go. They look at me and try to fake a smile but I can see they're about to cry as well. 'I hate to ask it Eve but do you know how old we were when he died?' Katy asks hesitantly.

I swallow a few times before I finally speak up. 'We were twelve. Twelve and all ready for our first day of high school.' I say with a shaking voice.

After another storm of emotions (mostly from me) we all calmed down a little. We're trying to figure this place out. 'What's the last thing you guys remember?' I ask. Katy answers first, 'I remember riding our bikes after an exhausting day of school and arriving at my house but after that it's one blank space.' She says and I see Megan nodding. 'Yes that's my last memory too. Or the most recent one...' She agrees. 'Yeah same.' I say and then we're all quiet again. There's not much left to say anyway and we're all really tired of searching for a way out.

After a while I speak up again. 'We should continue opening doors. If there is a way out, we will find it.' At first they look at me a bit weird but then their facial expressions softens. 'If you think you're ready, then I'm too.' Katy says and Megan nods as well. 'I am ready.' I say but the problem is that I'm not, I'm not ready. If I see my brother back in one of my earlier memories, I'm not sure if I will be able to control myself. I'm not sure if I won't collapse and cry or get mad or something, I'm just not sure. But we have to continue, there's no other option. So I get on my feet, force a smile onto my lips and repeat my sentence. 'I am ready.' I say louder now, mostly to convince myself. Katy and Megan get up as well and we walk back to the beginning if the hallway. We walk into the first door on our left, open a bottle and relive the memory.

And so we continued, figuring out new ages behind doors and reliving memories that we had almost forgotten about. By the time we reached door 5 (still on our left) we were devastated. We now know that in door one we were 1 year, door two 11, door three 3, door four 13 and door five 5 years. We decide to take a break from all the memories now.

Me and Katy lie on the floor while Megan is sitting with her back against the wall. Katy's head is resting on my stomach so I try to lie as still as possible. 'We should play a game.' Megan suddenly offers. 'Alright, which one?' I ask and Katy starts laughing. 'Why are you laughing?' I ask which causes her to laugh even harder. 'Your stomach, it moves when you talk. It feels so funny!' she says which makes me laugh as well. 'No! Stop laughing. You're making it worse!' Katy says, her laughter getting louder and louder. 'Then get off my stomach idiot.' I say and she keeps laughing. 'But I'm so comfy here.' She smiles looking up at me. I smile back at her. 'We can hopscotch! Like we used to do when we were little.' Megan suddenly says excited. Is she being serious? 'Are you being serious?' Katy asks. 'Yeah! We could use one of your bracelets to throw instead of a rock and then we could use the tiles with numbers on!' she explains while getting on her feet. 'Okay, I'm in, but only if you help me onto my feet.' Katy laughs and Megan indeed helps her onto her feet. Then Katy helps me to get up. 'You're in too, right?' she asks and I nod. 'Sure.' I say and so we begin to hopscotch.

It's quite funny to be honest and even though we all three suck at this game, it's the most fun I had in a while. Me and Katy are the first ones to quit though and after a few games we lie back on the ground. This time I'm lying on Katy's stomach. I haven't felt this good and relaxed since we woke up in this horrible heaven that we call hell. And eventually, believe it or not, I fall asleep.

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author's note:

Do you all know what hopscotch is,, right? It's like this game kids used to play (or still do idk, my childhood is over (sigh) ) where you draw numbers on the ground with chalks and then you have to throw some kind of rock and then you jump and blablabla, you guys know what i mean right?? im sorry im such a bad explainer... :o 

there's a picture, you'll know what i mean then...

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much love,

me.