𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕓𝕦𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕤

41

what the hell & new

"I get drunk and sometimes when I see something I like, ill get excited. and then it's the only thing on my mind. and I gotta have it. I can't help it."

it's apart of his life. how did I not ever- I was around him when he's drunk before. plenty of times at Sammys parties! that means he was either not drunk at all, or he was showing some random girl who will willingly fuck him that drunk side of him. he was keeping it from me.

but still. that doesn't excuse the fact that he tried to force what he wanted from me. that I was angry as hell with.

I was still angry with him after I called Sammy to take him to the hospital. he arrived thirty minutes later and took him. before he left Nate stopped in front of me.

"what about us?"

"I think we're done. we can talk when it's time."

after, I had to get out of this damn house. I was going to start crying and I didn't want too.

but where to go?

Jack in the box, duhh. the second best restaurant in my heart. because if I'm going out now, then I'm going to stay out for my day. better dress to kill.

I slid into a 'you are my champagne, my papi, my drake' wunzie type thing. gray leggings slid over my legs and ended at my hips. then a long jean jacket over all of it. my feet still had colorful ankle socks on, so I just grabbed my white Birkenstocks.

now I am public ready... at 8:05a in Los Angeles. lets go!!

...

oh my god, chicken strips and curly fries, in the morning is literally the shit. it's like heaven but in good and oh my god. it was so good.

plus the chocolate shake but no ones judging. except the guy who's currently eating in the corner. I'm not the only one with a good idea. he was cute, I'll admit. when I focused on his face it looked like, Skeez.

"Skeez?" I said, sitting up. he smiled.

"took you long enough." I rolled my eyes and slipped my feet from the chair in front of me. I nodded in his direction to come over here, he did, slipping into the seat.

"I heard about what happened," my heart stopped. Nate told people? "at the party. dang I'm sorry." I covered up my hesitation with a little heartless chuckle.

"yeah. I think, looking at the bigger picture here, it's not going to last long." he looked at me with a sad look. I shook my head, taking a few fries.

"no pity. I'm here to get happy." he chuckled and nodded, taking a bite of his hamburger. we finished eating, talking about small things that have been happening. we threw our trash and walked out together. I don't know how I didn't see his car when I pulled in. weird.

"thanks for the company." I said with a wave, walking over to my car. my body slid in and quickly pulled out of the parking lot.

I was still sad over what happened, I dumped my boyfriend after he was a jackass. my emotions and soul and body needed relaxation. on my way to town, I saw a nail place.

I'll get pampered in here. when I entered, I noticed it was also a hair salon. this is going to be expensive. that I shrugged off and then I stepped in.

a nice girl got me in and immediately took me to a seat. she turned the water on and then male took her place.

"hi sweetheart. your tensed, I can see it. spill." after I chuckled, I began telling him everything. he started shaping up my toes and massaging my feet and nails. it felt perfect.

"you did the right thing coming here. we can get you fierce nails, a new hair do and a make over. you will look so good." he purred, making me laugh.

"okay, do it. make me a new person."

he gave me French tip toes, painted over with clear acrylic. then the took my fingers and put me in long black French tipped cat claw nails. he painted over them with a black matte color. they were hot.

then he took me to his chair. he washed it all out and I stepped out of that salon with grayish white hair. I felt fierce this done up.

i've been rereading this book and i feel like it's shit. thank you for reading it, i do appreciate it. i promise it'll get better, i think. if not soon then after a while. thank you all again 💙🌸