Trepidation | Sitkolson [ C ]

Chapter 26 | Kiss Me

A/N: I wasn't really feeling this chapter, but I imagine some of you guys have been waiting for this moment. So... here you go...

--

I stormed into the garage, pulling the roller door down before making my way to where Ryan was.

Grabbing his ankle, I ripped him out from under the car he was working on.

"What the hell was that, Ryan?!" I yelled.

He shoved past me, "Fuck off."

I scoffed and ran around him, stopping in front of him, "You can't keep pushing me away! You may not feel anything when it comes to people, but I do. You don't need to keep all of this up because you're afraid."

"Afraid?" He scoffed, stepping closer to me. He continued doing that until my back was against the wall, his body inches from mine. "You don't know shit! You don't know what it's like to be blamed for something you didn't do. You don't know what it feels like to have everyone look at you like you're a burden in this world. How would-"

I cut him off, "I don't care what others think, Ryan."

I threw my head back against the wall, sighing.

Whenever Ryan and I were even in the same room, it resulted in an argument, and I was sick of it. Why, why, was it so hard to just accept me as a friend? I already knew he didn't do it, because he admitted it. The act alone caused me to look back to him.

"If you didn't do it," I started, "Why can't I be around you?"

He shook his head, "You wouldn't understand."

"I don't understand a lot of things," I said, my tone hardening, "But all you have to do is explain it."

His eyes narrowed, but he wasn't glaring, "Why do you even care?"

"Because," I mumbled, though it held a slight growl, "No one, no matter what they've done, should have to die alone."

"I deserve it," He murmured with a small scoff, about to step back before I grabbed his arm.

I pulled him back, frowning up at him. "You don't. You're not even eighteen yet, Ryan, and you've done nothing to deserve it. I won't let you..."

He was looking into my eyes, confused. It was obvious, too.

He wanted to leave, like he always did, but I wouldn't let him. Not anymore. I doubted he had anyone like that in his life. Sure, Kuza and Franccesca held him back from doing anything stupid, but they distanced themselves slightly due to the relationships they were in. It's not like I had anyone to ditch Ryan for, so I'd stay with him. Even if he yelled at me. I wanted to be there for him.

Ryan didn't intimidate me as much as he did when we first met. I was scared shitless of him at first, but he let me in for a few days and I saw how much of a teddy bear he was. He was like Josh, in a way.

As if under some spell, my free hand moved and held on to his other arm, keeping him in place.

He grew more confused as he leaned down, his nose brushing mine, "I..."

"Kiss me again," I mumbled.

"What?" Shock flooded through his eyes, which were still locked on mine.

"Kiss me-"

Before I could repeat my sentence, Ryan pressed his lips to mine.

This felt different than the first time. He was hesitant both times, but he seemed more... certain. It was confusing, but I wasn't going to let him walk away again.

I stood on my tip toes and slowly kissed back, moving my hands to the back of his neck.

Ryan moved one of his hands to my cheek and the other to my waist, pulling away.

He looked down at me, a tiny frown set on his face.

I didn't let him say anything before leaning back up and catching his lips again.

Whether this was leading somewhere or not, I didn't know, but I couldn't help but think about what would happen if it did.

Ryan was accused of murder, yes, but I didn't look at him as a murderer. I looked at him as a teenager who had been misjudged by a misguided world. He was one of the only people in my life to treat me properly. Being in a relationship wouldn't be the best move in the eyes of other people, but in my eyes he was all I could think about. I knew we wouldn't be accepted by a lot of people, but that was just a drop of water compared to the ocean of emotions that swam within my stomach as our lips moved together.

His hand formed a tighter grip on my waist, and the hand that was on my cheek travelled to my hair.

I tried to pull him closer, but our chests were already flush together, our legs practically intertwined.

It was like everything we had fought about was thrown away, but still visible. It was easy to tell that Ryan was angry, but he was also feeling something else I couldn't describe. I knew that much.

I myself way angry, but also feeling different emotions. All of them mixed together made me feel so... alive.

Both Ryan and I pulled back, our breaths short and heavy.

"I..." I trailed off, still trying to catch my breath.

The knock on the garage door pulled Ryan and I out of our trance, and he swore under his breath.

"I should go..." I mumbled.

As I stepped to the side, Ryan lightly grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, kissing me one last time.

I smiled lightly as I pulled away. "I'll see you on Monday..."

"Mhmm."

I bit my lip and slowly stepped away from Ryan, later leaving the garage. I tried to hide the shit eating grin on my face, but it only grew bigger by the second. The feeling in my stomach didn't cease, either. Hopefully it meant as much to him as it did to me...