Rafah had had it all planned out, she was going to stay up late on the couch and get herself prepared for when she would scream at Nathan. That plan clearly failed when she had fallen asleep, her anger fizzling out due to fatigue. Rafah was currently 6 months pregnant and she felt like a balloon, she struggled to do most things and it's not like there was anyone around to help her out. At the start of her pregnancy, Nathan had been a sweatheart: he hardly ever left her alone, he did whatever she wanted and more and in general, he was the perfect husband. However, once she was around 5 months pregnant, he started to neglect her. He began going out all day and leaving her alone, he'd go out late at night and drink, sometimes he wouldn't even drink which made her nervously wonder about what he had been doing. It had taken her around a month to build up the courage to finally confront him about it... Except, she fell asleep.
She was awoken by the sound of keys rattling in the door and then the subtle squeak of the door hinges as the door opened. Rafah blinked slightly so that her eyes could adjust to the sudden bright light as Nathan turned the light on, oblivious to his sleeping, pregnant wife on the couch.
"Rafah, what are you doing down here?" He seemed shocked, there was no guilt in his voice considering that he sauntered in a 1AM. His innocent persona only angered Rafah further.
"Where have you been? Have you been drinking?" She growled, slowly pulling herself up to her feet.
"No!" He seemed offended but she didn't understand why. There were countless nights that she'd be woken up by him stumbling into bed, his breath reeking of alcohol. He didn't seem drunk now but she didn't care.
"Then what have you been doing? I've hardly seen you! I've not spoken to you properly in a month! What's wrong?" She screamed in frustration, she needed him in her life more but he was only pulling back further and further.
"Nothing!" He shouted, Rafah flinched and brought a protected arm around her bump.
"Don't lie to me Nathan!" She spat, there was no emotion left in her other than fury.
"I'm- I'm not lying..." He stuttered, looking to the floor hastily.
"Liar! Give me one reason why I should stay here and not walk out on you with our baby." She stepped forwards towards the door and his eyes shot up, as hard as stone.
"I-I love you." He muttered half heartedly.
"Really? You have a funny way of showing it!" She said sarcastically. She turned around and headed up the stairs, she knew Nathan was following her and she had conflicting emotions about that. She wanted to get away from him but at the same time, she wanted to figure things out,
"What are you doing?" He asked angrily as she stormed into their bedroom. She lied on the floor and pulled out a suitcase from underneath the wardrobe.
"I said, what are you doing?" He was restraining himself from shouting fully but he was furious.
"Packing." She said, matter-of-factly.
"No you are not!" Nathan bellowed, stalking over to where she was.
"Try to stop me." She spat, she dragged the bag across the floor, opened the wardrobe door and began tearing her clothes off their hangers and throwing them into her bag. She reached forwards to continue but Nathan grabbed both of her wrists forcefully causing Rafah to gasp.
"Get off me!" She yelled, squirming in his grasp.
"You are not going anywhere." He used her wrist to pull her towards him then he wrapped his arms around her waist securely. Nathan felt his arms shaking slightly, he was frightened of course, the love of his life wanted to leave him!
"Let me go!" She shouted, it was no use though, his grip was like iron. They stood in silence for around 10 minutes and gradually they both calmed down. Rafah was tense but calmer than she was, Nathan was also very nervous but had finally built up the courage to begin to speak.
"Are you going to listen to me now?" Nathan asked, loosening his grip slightly which relaxed Rafah slightly. She simply nodded and Nathan turned her around in his arms so that he could look her in the eyes when he spoke.
"I... In the first few months, everything was fine. Then the more and more it developed, the more and more I felt like I was drowning. I kept thinking that I wouldn't be good enough or I wouldn't be a good Dad, it got to the point where I couldn't bear to be around you because I'd think like that more and more. I'm sorry I abandoned you... I was just scared. I understand if you don't want to..." Nathan's voice was trembling, he felt weak and foolish.
"Nathan why didn't you tell me?" She sighed, leaning forward and rested her forehead against his.
"I was scared." He said, closing his eyes.
"You're going to be a great Dad." She said, his eyes opened and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards but he quickly looked down in a sad manner, he clearly did not believe her.
"No, listen to me, you will be." She said firmly and he looked upwards at her, his eyes filled with love.
"I love you." He murmured, he smiled against her lips.
"I love you too." She replied, kissing him softly.
