Like Catching a Snowflake

Chapter 27 : Hanna

Hanna

I sighed and looked at the letter I had received that day. It was from Simon. I had replied to his last letter about him being in love with me. I told him that I was confused and needed time to think and then I asked him not to write me back at all. I wanted to be able to think without him writing letters to me and having the advantage over Draco when we were distancing from each other. I really wish that we could talk at least one more time before the end of the term, but I didn’t think I would be that lucky. I had been unlucky enough to have Simon not listen to me. How much luckier could I get?

Dearest Hanna,

I know you said not to write back, but I just can’t do that. I just wanted to let you know that you are right. You do need time to not be hounded by me, and I just wanted to get one more letter in there. I find that you don’t like a lot of the things that I do, so I thought why not do one more thing? I know that you’re probably seething at me and upon your return, if I find that you don’t want to take our friendship to the next level, then I will completely understand. I just want to know if you understand that I will always be a part of your life whether or not you want me to be. I am here for your mother. She is like a second mother to me, and I am not going to let that go just because her daughter doesn’t feel the same. It’ll be as hard as hell for me to watch you fall in love with other men or stay in love with the same, but I’ll get through it. If we’re not meant to be, then I will find another girl that will love me. I just hope you think things out. I still think that Malfoy kid is a bad idea for you. You won’t be entirely happy with him, but after all it is your choice. I just keep looking down at my hands and remember how perfectly your hands looked intertwined with mine. I miss you dearly, Hanna, and I hope you make your decision soon so I can find what I’m doing with my life.

Hopefully your pick,

Simon

I put it in the drawer with the other letters that he had sent. For some reason, I couldn’t part with any of them. I still hoped that Bella was wrong. I hoped that I wasn’t in love with Simon Livingston. I still felt that half of my heart belonged to Draco, and until I figured out who owned it completely, I wasn’t going to give up on him completely. He had my head so cluttered, I figured I needed to clear my head, so I went for a walk outside. I didn’t wander from the wall of the castle for the sun was too bright. I wanted to stay in the shadows, where I couldn’t really be seen.

“Hanna?” I heard and looked up from the ground to see one of my dilemmas standing there. “What are you doing out here?”

I shrugged. “Clearing my head. What about you?”

“The same actually,” he said and looked down at his feet and kicked the ground. “Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

I smirked at him. “For what exactly?”

“For being an ass to you about flirting with that other guy. You had every right to. I mean, we weren’t together, so I had no right to be angry with you for it,” he weakly smiled at me.

I nodded. “I forgive you. I actually forgave you a long time ago.”

“That’s good to know,” he nodded. “Because I can’t stop myself from…” he trailed off as he approached me.

“You can’t stop yourself from what?” I asked, gulping hard and back up until my back was against the wall of the castle.

“From doing this,” he said and his lips were on mine.

Our lips moved perfectly together. The warmth of his breath made me smile into the kiss. I had missed his lips upon mine in every way possible. I didn’t want him to pull away, but he did all too soon. He didn’t let go of me, but looked into my eyes deeply. His beautiful grey eyes looked as if he was trying to figure something out, as if there was possibly a puzzle inside my head that needed to be put together or perhaps there was on in his head.

“Hanna,” he whispered, settling his head against mine. “What did you feel in that kiss?”

I bit my lip for a quick second. “I felt promise. I felt promise for us. I had missed your lips on mine and when they were planted there once more, I felt that perhaps there might be a chance for us after all.”

He nodded. “Good because that’s what I felt. I hope I’m not confusing you. If you want to be with that other guy, I will gladly step aside.”

I shook my head. “Don’t step aside. Not until you know that my heart completely belongs to him.”

“Good because I don’t ever want to give up on us unless there is absolutely no reason to. Thank you,” he breathed, “for giving me a reason.”

I smiled as he pulled away from me. “I promise that we’ll get though this with our hearts still intact, no matter what either of our decisions is.”

There had to have been another girl for him to even think about asking me all those questions. He had to have been trying to figure out who owned his heart as well. If this ended with us being together, then that would be fine but if not, then that would be fine as well. As long as we were both happy, I don’t see there being a problem with either situation coming true.

He had left after I had said that with what looked like an even more confused look on his face. I couldn’t help but think that kiss just made me even more confused as well. Simon was nice, cute, and everything that I needed, but Draco was everything that I wanted. What was a girl to do? As the sunset, I decided to head to the common room, where I found Bella.

“Hey, Han,” she said, smiling up at me. “What did you do today?”

“I read a letter, went for a walk, got pushed up against a wall and kissed, and then sat there until I could figure out what to do with my life,” I shrugged.

“Wait? Letter? Did Simon write you back?” she asked, totally skipping over the part I thought she would question about first.

I nodded. “He told me that I was right about needing space but he wanted to write me one more letting me know that I shouldn’t choose Draco, but he’ll step aside if I don’t feel the same about him. Isn’t that the most perfect chivalrous guy?”

She nodded. “Exactly, that’s why you should be with him.”

“But,” I started but she interrupted.

“Wait, you said that you were kissed today. Did Draco kiss you?” she guessed correctly.

I nodded once more. “He looked even more confused than I felt afterwards too. Is there another girl, Bella? Did Blaise mention that he had been seeing another girl? I don’t mind because I was flirting with Simon. Please tell me.”

“Well,” she sighed. “There is another girl, but I didn’t think he could be swayed because of her, because of the situation.”

“What are you going on about, Bells?” I asked when she stopped.

“He’s been arranged to marry another girl. He had no choice in the matter, but now it looks as if he might actually be developing feelings for this girl,” she shrugged. “I’m so sorry, Hanna. Do you want me to kick his ass for you?”

I smiled. “No, I’m glad you told me. I had a feeling that there was. Oh, Bells,” I had just realized something, “if Draco was arranged to marry, was Blaise as well?”

She nodded and looked down at her nails. “He has been arranged to marry Pansy, who looks as if she doesn’t want the wedding to happen either. Haven’t you heard? Pansy and Robbie weren’t faking getting together this time. They’re actually together.”

“Really? I asked, totally surprised.

That’s when we heard it: an explosion of some kind from deep inside the castle. We looked at each other before dashing out of the common room. Bella grabbed her wand from her boot, and I grabbed mine from my back pocket. What we saw when we arrived on the third floor scared the shit out of both of us. There were deatheaters all over the place.