19.Rap Monster: sad story

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It was a beautiful sunny day in August and I sat on a swing at a park near my house. I was peacefully enjoying the weather and watching children play. I saw families walking and laughing together. And then I remembered that I could never have a family. A few months ago I was told that I had cancer. In my lungs...
I have had a lot of surgeries until a few days ago, when the doctor told me that he couldn't do anything for me anymore. I didn't know for how long I would be able to stand on this earth. I had been bawling my eyes out every night. But today I finally decided to enjoy my time here and not be afraid of death anymore.

Without me knowing it a friend of mine was sitting on the swing next to me. I looked to the side and he smiled at me. It was Namjoon. "Hello there, you have been daydreaming for a while" he said and laughed. I smiled at him. He was my only friend at the moment. Since cancer had taken over my life, I didn't contact my friends anymore. Nobody knew about my disease, and many of my friends gave up on me. But not Namjoon. Even though I never picked up his calls he was still sitting next to me on a swing.

"Sorry" I said laughing. "I didn't even notice you"
"It's okay, what were you thinking about so deeply that you didn't even notice your friend?" He asked.
I knew I couldn't tell him so I put on a fake smile and said "It's my secret".
He looked offended but shrugged it off.
He looked at his watch. "Well well it's almost 5 o'clock already. Wanna go out for dinner?" He asked.
I was very hungry so of course I said yes.
"Where shall we eat?" I asked
He grinned and said "it's a secret"
I laughed at how he mimicked my sentence from a few minutes ago.
"Just follow me" he said while he jumped off the swing.

I got off as well and followed him. After quite a while walking we got to a restaurant. We walked inside and there was nobody else. Except for the staff of course. "Welcome to our restaurant, a table for 2?" The waiter asked. Namjoon nodded "yes please"
"This way" the waiter said and walked us to our table. We sat down and looked at the menu. "Holy nuts this is expensive!" I said. Namjoon laughed "don't worry about it, I'll pay"
My eyes widened and I looked at him. But he just smiled.

We ordered our foods and talked about many things. The food was awesome and for the first time I a few months, I forgot about my disease.

It was 8 o'clock when we decided to go back home. Namjoon paid for the food and we started walking back.
It was dark outside and even though his house was on the other side of the city he insisted on walking me home.
We talked and talked and then we both were quiet for a few minutes. And at that moment of silence I realised that I had been growing feelings for Namjoon. He had been the first person to make me forget about cancer and I really enjoyed my day jus being with him and talking.

Soon we got to my house and I gave him a hug. I had to. I may be the last time I could. He was shocked by my sudden hug but still hugged me back.
"Thank you for today" I said. "It was nothing" he said. 'It is something namjoon' I thought. I released him and walked away. But he grabbed my wrist and turned me around. "Wait y/n I actually want to tell you something" he sighed. "I liked you for a while now and I wanted you to know about my feelings" he said.
I just stood there, not knowing what to do. But then...

He kissed me.

'No y/n you can't kiss him back! Push him away' I thought. Without thinking too much I pushed him away.
"I'm sorry" he said looking at the ground.
"No it's not your fault" tears started forming in my eyes. "I like you too but I can't" I said while tears fell down my cheeks. "What do you mean? Do you already have a boyfriend omg I'm so stupid!" He yelled. "That's not it! I've got cancer Namjoon!" He immediately looked at me. "What" he whispered. "I've got cancer, in my lungs. I don't know how long I will live. But I feel like a bomb I know I'm going to die soon but I don't know when. I love you but I don't want to hurt more people around me with my disease"
He stood there, looking at me with his eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell me y/n" "nobody knows just my family. I was planning to tell you but, it sucks to say if out loud. It's like it becomes more real if I hear people say it. And I know people would feel sorry for me and I don't want that" "I get that but I could have helped you het through tough times" he said while holding my chin.
And he kissed me again. And this time I let him.

One week later

The night after namjoon kissed me, I started feeling worse. My lungs had filled themselves with liquid and I couldn't breathe anymore. I was rushed to the hospital and the doctors got rid of the liquid inside my lungs.
It took me a day to wake up and when I woke up my mom, dad and namjoon were sitting next to the bed. All of them had tears in their eyes.

I talked to my parents about what happened and then asked if I could talk to Namjoon alone. My parents left the room and I gave namjoon a slight smile. "How are you doing? Are you in a lot of pain?" He asked softly. I shook my had "I got painkillers so I'm not really feeling anything at the moment" he held my hand and suddenly looked at my heart monitor. "Your heart is beating fast right now" he noticed. "That's because I like you dummy" I answered and we both laughed. 'I have one more thing left to do' I thought. "Namjoon"
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me" I said without hesitating.
He nodded and kissed me passionately.

When we parted I looked at him. 'done' I thought. I breathed in and out for one last time and slowly closed my eyes.

Namjoon 's POV
She slowly closed her eyes. And I knew what was happening. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I looked at her heart monitor. Her heart stopped beating...
Her parents came rushing in and they started crying as well.
I felt sad but on the other hand I felt glad that she wasn't in pain anymore and that she died peacefully. . . .

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