Not a Cullen

Author's note... maybe

"So funny Tara. Don't quit your day job." 

"What job?" I dead panned. She laughed. 

"Tara? Where did you go?" We heard Kol call. Kitty's eyes widened. 

"Meet me at the Grill at nine." She whispered. 

"Sure Kitty." 

"Don't call me that!" She hissed and vanished. I quickly plucked a rose and started to twirl it. 

"There you are. We're leaving and unless you want to walk home, you better hurry up." I sighed and slouched. 

"But I'm so lazy." I sighed. He rolled his eyes and tossed me over his shoulder. 

"Kol!" I shrieked and hit his back. 

"Careful sweet. Don't want to fall, do you?" He moved his shoulder in a way that made me think I was actually going to fall. I gasped and quit hitting him. 

"You are a huge jerk." I grumbled.  

"Aw. Thank you, love." I rolled my eyes before making my weight dead. He hit my leg before making his way to the fam. 

"Look what I found." He proclaimed and actually dropped me on the floor. Elijah caught me before I actually met it so that made him my favorite Mikaelson brother today. I glared at Kol. 

"You are so dead." I hissed. He rubbed his hands together. 

"You can't touch me." I raised an eyebrow. 

"Is that a bet?" 

"It's a known fact." 

"Hmm. I will have to prove you wrong." 

"I'm always right. And I could spin circles around you is another thing I predict." 

"Please, Rebekah is the one with the creepy instincts." 

"You don't believe me?" 

"Not at all." 

"Well may the best man win." He offered his hand. I narrowed my eyes and took it. 

"Or woman." I smirked. We shook on it and faced the others who had horrified expressions. Even Elijah and he seems to be calm and collected all the time! Even when Kol dumped a whole bowl of whip cream all over him this morning! 

"They're going to kill each other." Rebekah threw up her hands in defeat and walked to the door. We all followed but once we were out Klaus took hold of my arm. My eyes narrowed. Butterflies be damned. 

"What?" I hissed. He smirked. 

"Nothing. I was just wondering how you got that huge bloodstain on your back." He said mildly. My mouth slightly dropped and I twisted my head trying to see it. How did they miss it?! 

"Oh no." I moaned as realisation hit me. "Rebekah is going to murder me." Klaus chuckled and I glared at him. How dare he laugh as I face my inevitable death by his scary sister! He quit after a few moments of my glare. 

"Well?" He drew out. My mouth pursed as I tried to think of a excuse. Any excuse. I grinned as one came to mind. 

"Well, you know I headed outside right? Anyways I was walking by the gardenia's when I saw the most adorable kitten. It had brown fur that curled on it's little head and the most chocolatiest eyes I ever saw. I went over to it to see if it had a owner tag on it's collar or a scar from the microchip thing because if it didn't I wanted to adopt it like I told you yesterday. But when I picked it up, the claws came out and she tried to dang near kill me. So I dropped it and walked very fast away but I guess I done something to piss Fate off because I tripped over a freaking rock! That was mortifying and horrible because the little Hellcat pounced on my back and started to claw it, thus explaining the bloody back. I ended up throwing it in a rose bush and I don't know if it is alive or not so can we hurry up and get out of here?" He examined my face carefully and sighed.