I Hate You . . . I Think

Scratchy Pillows and Favors

“Hi,” I manage to squeak out of my sore throat. 

Seth’s whole body tenses and his tired eyes flash open. He looks up and straight into my eyes. The expression on his face is a mixture of relief and disbelief. 

“Low?” he whispers. 

I give him the best smile I can around the pain I feel in my face. Seth jumps out of his chair and gently pulls me into a hug in a matter of seconds. His hands hold me lightly and my extremely sore body is grateful. 

His body is heaving up and down. I’m confused for a second until I feel the drops of water on my exposed shoulder. He is crying. I take my arm  that is free of any tubes or wires and reach it around his body to pull him toward me. My fingers tangle in his messy hair and lightly massage his head.

“I missed you so much,” Seth whispers into my shoulder. The emotion in his voice shocks me. I am not used to him being so open. I have never seen him cry in the many years I have known him. 

I open my mouth to say something back, but the words get stuck in my sore throat and I make a croaking sound. Seth pulls back and his swollen red eyes look at me with worry. 

“What’s wrong?”

I make the motion of drinking something and he quickly runs to the jug of water on the counter and pours me a cup. Seth gently places the cup to my lips and tips it backwards. The cool liquid runs down my throat, making it no longer feel like it is sandpaper. I finish the last drop and rest my head back on the scratchy pillow. Seth tosses the paper cup into the trash and sits down on the side of the bed. His hip presses up against my thigh and sends shivers through my whole body. The amazed expression on his face makes me feel like I missed something important in the time I was passed out. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers again. 

“Seth. I’m all right. It’s only been a couple of hours.”

His face changes to a horrified expression. 

“Low . . . you have been unconscious for a week.”

What? My aching jaw drops open, but I barely respond to the pain. I’ve been out for seven days? It has only felt like a couple of hours. Seth’s hand clasps my own, the reassurance in his grip helps make me calm down. That car must have hit me really hard. Horror washes over me and I feel like I am going to be sick. 

“Lizard-”

“She’s fine,” Seth says quickly. His hand moves up to my face, his thumb caressing my cheekbone. “She had to have stitches, but she’s fine.”

The huge brick that just formed in my chest a second ago disappears and allows me to take a deep breath.

“Thank god,” I whisper. Seth smiles sadly and a look of guilt passes over his face.

“What was that face for?” I ask him quietly. 

“Nothing,” he says extremely quickly. From the way he looks around the room and his eyes won’t meet mine, I can tell that he is lying. 

“Seth,” I raise my hand up that is not confined by a needle and place it on the side of his face to bring his eyes back to focus on me. “Look at me. What’s wrong?”

He yanks away from me and flings himself back into the chair beside my bed. He turns his eyes away from me and stares at the wall behind my head. His hands curl into fists so forcefully that his knuckles crack. The sound echoes through the room. 

“Seth, please don’t pull away from me.”

His eyes are back on mine in a second. 

“I’m doing what is best for you,” he says in such a sharp voice that my heart squeezes.