Home For Fall // Emison and PLL

Deployment : Day 180

Everyday blends into the same thing. It never ends. But now, it's bearable. It's still hard to take a life, but not like it was. I don't struggle with it much anymore. I've seen horrors nobody should ever have to see. I've seen men murder innocent women and children. More of my friends die every day.

Last week, Allen went out on a convoy mission to a small city with another team that got rotated. They wouldn't tell the rest of us where it was. They insisted that it was top secret. I guess even soldiers must keep secrets from other soldiers.

Anyways, she went out. It was her first mission in the field. She was super nervous because things are different out there than they are in training. But I guess she had a right to be. Because that was the day she died.

They told us it was a roadside bomb. Only one of the soldiers made it. But he was beyond recognition. Rumor has it he died that night in the infirmary. Or he got sent home. There was a lot of speculation about it. I'm not sure what's true and what isn't anymore.

I'm going on another mission tonight, Ali. I'm going to find the men who were responsible for killing Allen. They're going to wish they hadn't seen me. I know I sound like a monster, Ali. But I'm not. I'm doing what has to be done.

Emily stopped writing the letter and let the pen's tip poke into the paper. She had written one every day since she finally bucked up the courage to send Hanna one. And they were almost all addressed to Alison. But she hadn't tried to send a single one of them. She couldn't.

Alison could never know. She didn't even know Alison anymore. For all she knew, the other girl was married, expecting children, and happy.

The first year of college, Emily had tried to give Paige a shot again. Neither of them were geniuses when it came to relationships. But Paige had constantly blamed Alison for stealing Emily away from her. Along with it, she would personally blame Emily for letting Alison.

The night Emily and Alison hooked up, however, it wasn't either of their faults. It had just kind of happened. And neither of them really got a chance to confront their feelings for each other. Even though Alison admitted she loved Emily.

Emily shoved the paper back underneath her cot and took out her helmet. She looked at the small picture of her dad underneath the mesh inside. I'm going to make you proud. I'm going to, I promise. She thought to herself.

"Fields! Get your ass outside!" Twig yelled from beyond the tent.

Emily continued packing up her duffle and slung it over her back. She didn't know if she'd ever be coming back.

"You're late," Meyers said once she'd finally shown up to roll call.

Emily pulled her hat down over her eyes so the sun couldn't blind her. "I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

"Yeah, you've said that the last four times it's happened. Look, do me a favor Fields. Do your fucking job. Don't be late again," he said.

She smirked. "Yes sir."

They began to climb into the humvee and tightly tuck themselves into the seats. Twig sat by the left window, Sophia sat in the middle, and Emily sat on the right.

"Can I ask you guys something?" Sophia asked. She seemed slightly uncomfortable in all of her heavy gear.

"And what may that be?" Twig asked.