Forever and Always (A Zayn Malik FanFiction AU)

Chapter Eight

Reese’s POV

“Ok. It happened while I was overseas...” I watch as Zayn trails off and bites his lip as the tears begin to form.

“Hey I’m right here alright?” I whisper and he nods.

“It was a pretty boring night ya know. Nothing was really happen. I’d been over there for a few months and nothing had happened at all really. Just the hot sun  and dry sand. And then one night...”

“Yeah?”

“I was in my bunk. Actually trying to get rest and then there was this loud bang. Everyone in my barrack thought it was some idiots just messing around right? It wasn’t like we had any real action anyway. And then we heard it again and more of it. One of the other soldiers ran into out barrack  and told us we were under attack. We all got up and got our gear and made our way out. There were fires blazing all around us and heavy gunfire. I had to take cover quickly because bullets were flying all over the place. I could barely see anything at all due to the dark night and the smoke from the flames. And then I hear screaming. I knew it was from one of my men. I looked to the right of me and saw him. The bullets went through his vest and he was bleeding out. I had to make my way over to him so I crawled over, low to the ground to avoid the shots.  Right when I got to him a large man approached us. He had a machine gun in hand and was pointing it to me. I had to react fast. I didn’t have a choice ya know. So I shot him between the eyes before he could shoot me.” My breath hitches and Zayn stops speaking trying to read my eyes.

“Keep... speaking.”

“I had to move my friends body out the way. So he wouldn’t get hit anymore, so I drug him back into the barracks. I knew he wasn’t going to make it. He even knew he wasn’t going to make it. He gave me one last smile before closing his eyes and dying. He was married. Something snapped in me when I left that barrack. I began firing at anyone and everyone who was not on my side. I killed a few people that night. Some from far away and others so close I could see the life drain from their eyes. When everything had stopped and there was ceasefire I knew what I had to do Reese. I couldn’t stay in contact with you after that night. You have to understand that. I didn’t want you to suffer like my friends wife was going to when she found out he was dead. Do you know how the thought of you hurting like that because of me made me feel? I couldn’t have that and so I stopped. I stopped talking to you for that reason.  So please. Please don’t hate me.” He begins to cry and I wrap my arms around him pulling him into my chest.

“Hey... Shh. Don’t worry I don’t hate you. I love you alright.” He nods but keeps crying only gripping onto my sides tighter.  “I’m not going anywhere either.”

“Why not? Shouldn’t you be running away from me and calling me a murderer?”

“What you did was self-defense and protecting yourself and the people around you. Anyone put in that situation would have done the same thing.” I force a smile and Zayn nods wiping his face of his tears.

“I’m sorry Reese.”

“Don’t be. I understand now. I’m not mad at you Zayn. And you can’t keep blaming yourself for this stuff ya know. What happened, happened. You can’t take it back, but it’s behind you now.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I smile and plant a quick kiss on Zayn’s lips.

It’s been a month after that talk with Zayn. Things have gotten better between us now that he’s opened up to me. We argue less and he’s picked up a few shifts down at Tomlinson’s Auto Shop with Louis. I think it’s good for him. Keeping himself somewhat busy. It takes his mind off of things. I don’t know if he’s still been having those dreams though. If he has he is really good at hiding the fact from me.

It’s a Wednesday night and I roll over in bed expecting to wrap my arms around my boyfriend. Instead I get an empty space. I sigh and sit up rubbing my eyes of sleep. I check the time and see it’s three in the morning. I groan and slip on my slippers as I make my way out of my bedroom and down the hall. I see the kitchen light on and know he’s in there.  I walk in yawning and see Zayn pacing the floor like a madman. He’s muttering something under his breath and fidgeting with his hands.

“Zayn?”

“Hey. I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” He asks and stops pacing giving me his classic smile.

“No. I woke up and was expecting my boyfriend to be next to me.”

“Sorry.”

“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask perching myself up on the countertop.

“Not really.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Not really.” He shrugs and walks to the fridge grabbing a bottled water.

“Are you sure because you can talk to me if...”

“I’m fine Reese!” He yells and I jump slightly making Zayn’s face soften and a sigh escape his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m fine, I promise. You go back to sleep. You have to be up in a few hours anyway for work.” Zayn walks over to me and kisses my forehead.

“Alright.” I nod and walk back to my room, but don’t sleep.

The next morning I wake up and get ready for 'work'. I see Zayn sleeping on the couch. He looks so peaceful. His lips parted slightly and a light snore escaping them. I smile and peck his cheek before leaving my place. Instead of going to work I make a stop by Zayn’s therapists. I just need to know what’s been going on and how things can go from normal to last night.

“Hello Reese.” Clara smiles and I nod.

“Hi.”

“What brings you here?” She motions inside her office and I follow.

“I know it’s none of my business but how has Zayn been doing?”

“Why do you ask that?”

“It’s just... Things were going really good. He told me all the things he went through overseas and we were working on things. He could actually sleep through the night without jumping out of his sleep. But last night he was... off.” I ramble, but Clara catches everything.

“Off how?”

“I woke up and he was in the kitchen pacing back and forth and mumbling something under his breath. Something that I couldn’t catch and then he yelled at me. Which he never does. He raises his voice, but he never fully yells. And I don’t know. Are his sessions going well?”

“To be honest with you Reese, I haven’t seen Zayn in a few weeks.” She sighs at my facial expression.

“A few weeks? What do you mean a few weeks?”

“I mean he hasn’t shown up.” I go to speak but Clara cuts me off. “I think you should talk to him. Not argue just talk and maybe that will convince him to come see me again.”

“Okay.” I force a smile and leave her office.

Zayn and I will have a talk alright. How dare he not tell me he stopped going to his sessions. Sessions that are for his benefit. I get back to my place and slam the door making Zayn jump from his seat on the couch.

“Hey babe. I thought you were at work.”

“Why the fuck did you stop going to your therapy sessions Zayn?” I yell and his eyes go wide.

“Shit.”