Autophobia || Liam

Twenty Eight

"My biggest fear is when I realise I have to say goodbye to my happiness."

The room Hanna sat in was cold and dark, barely enough lighting to make out her sunken in features. The blinking red light of the camera stared her down, as if it were wanting her to confess to a murder.

"My happiness is where I feel like a normal human being. Where I can love the skin I have. Every imperfection on it included. My happiness is where I can be told I am beautiful, that I am loved, that I am not alone and I can get through this. It's where I can believe that stuff is true. And as long as I have my happy place, I can believe that. I hear my happiness speak to me when I think about something I hate about myself, even when my happiness is not there. My happiness is in his arms. Even when I'm already happy. He protects me from the cold outside, he protects me from the rain that seems like it's bullets."

Hanna stopped, creating a moment.

"But, at the same time, I am his happy place. A place where he can spill his deepest darkest secrets that only I can be trusted with, like I am an empty diary and he's the pen that dances across every page, permanently leaving a trail of words, a story, behind."

"We're like each other's diaries."

Hanna finished her video. Turning on the lights to the spare dressing room next door to Liam's, she grabbed her recording equipment and took it back to the bus before heading to see Liam before the show.

"I heard what you said." He pulled Hanna onto his lap, tickling her sides.

Hanna laughed at the sudden ticklish feeling. "Really? I was speaking that loud."

"No, it's just the echo of the room." Liam shrugged. "Can I ask you a serious question? Or a few serious questions?"

Hanna leaned a little bit towards the coffee table, reaching for the bright red apple that looked so shiny, you could do your makeup in it. "Sure, ask away."

"Are we official? Like boyfriend girlfriend?"

Hanna took a bite out of the Apple, a loud crunch echoed throughout the room. "Yea. I though we were since the night on the beach a couple weeks ago. What's your other question?"

"Can we go public?" Liam gave a half smile, his eyebrows furrowed together like he was worried for her reply.

"Like tonight or..?"

Liam nodded. "Like, we've known each other for a while. But like, I don't like hiding stuff like this."

Hanna took another bite of the fruit. "I don't really care. As long as my privacy isn't invaded. I don't want to sound controlling but I don't want a lot of stuff about me getting out there. Like, you know, my health problems and stuff. I want to have as much of a private life as possible."

Liam nodded to show he understood. "Gotcha."

Hanna finished her apple and threw the core in the nearby trash. Harry walked by just then. "Oh, Liam. We're on in like ten minutes. Better get dressed." The strange boy informed his friend before skipping off down the hallway, his hair bouncing with every step.

"Which shirt?" Liam pointed to the two t shirts and a button up that hung on hangers.

The first t shirt was plain black, nothing too fancy. The second was a white shirt, nothing fancy like the first. And the button up was pale blue.

"Is that all your brought from the bus?" Hanna asked.

"No, there's a pile on the seat over there." Liam pointed to a metal folding chair, it's legs extremely rusted.

Hanna leafed through them, picking out a red flannel shirt. She pulled the white shirt from the hanger. "Wear this, the flannel unbuttoned. Black skinny jeans and white or black shoes. Preferably black."

Liam took the clothing items and pulled them on. "You're good at fashion." He complimented.

"Thanks." Hanna looked over in the mirror, fixing her shirt and wiping away some lipstick she embarrassingly got on her teeth.

"Liam!" Louis called down the hall. "Louise needs to do your hair!"

"Coming, jackass!" Liam hollered back.

Hanna rolled her eyes. "Come on." She pulled Liam out of his dressing room and down five doors to Louise, who just styled his hair into a quiff like he always has it. "You're on in a minute, Liam. Run." Hanna gave her new boyfriend a quick hug before watching him bolt down he hallway to the stage.

"Let's go watch." Louise tugged on her arm.

"In the audience?" Hanna stalled. "I don't know. I always watch from the sides."

"If you're worried about crazy fans, there will be security right there. Didn't Liam tell you? He told all staff and security to protect you like you were the most important person on earth. No one will lay a finger on you that isn't part of the tour."

Hanna thought for a moment. "Promise?"

Louise nodded. "Promise."

Louise and Hanna walked side by side into the audience. Just like Louise said, security fell into step both in front and behind when they emerged out from backstage into the huge arena.

Fans called out to Louise, who waved back. "Ready for some fun?" Louise screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Hell yeah!"

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I went to google to look at outfits Liam has worn before and wattpad took me back to the homepage and I thought it deleted what I had written but it didn't so I'm happy !!!

- Emily xx