Within Temptation

Chapter Fourteen

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Within Temptation- Chapter Fourteen

"Tell me about everything. You must of screwed up pretty big if your back here again?" John- his treatment counselor asked him, throwing down the cream colored folder onto his desk, the side of it had Stefan's name labeled in bold black permanent marker.

"2010,2011, 2012...Should I keep going with this or should I stop..Clearly, you get the point. Right?" John commented, taking a seat across from Stefan and watching as he ran his hands through his hair, exhaling deeply. He hated treatment, he hated the feeling of every single damn person trying to save him, trying to dig him out and help it from the mess that he created. The walls seemed to be caving in on him as he sat inside of John's office, they were becoming smaller and smaller as John spoke.

"Look, how about we skip the "Look, you fucked up again" small talk and cut to the chase. I've been using again and it's felt good. I won't deny that I have a problem this time, John. Because, I know that I do. So, how do you fix someone who's addicted to alcohol and cocaine. Preferable the strong stuff, I like the rush of it, John. You know that...remember how I was when I first walked in here...High as a damn kite." Stefan's voice trailed off with a laugh, his hands trembling as he looked up at his treatment counselor and cracked a smile.

"You think this is funny? Do you think that I like seeing you in here, year after year? Mr. Salvatore...I can't help you if you won't help yourself. I really don't know how many times I have to tell you that." John commented, jotting down a few more notes and watching as Stefan looked around the room, suddenly feeling anxious, nauseous almost.

"Let's keep it casual. Don't call me, Mr. Salvatore. We've been playing this same song and dance for years. I come in here and you tell me how to fix me. I leave, get better for a bit- sometimes longer than a few months and then, some traumatic event happens and I end up where it all started. I was 18 years old when I first started using. I'm 26 years old now and a very well known man. Come on, John..I should have learned my lesson. However, I'm struggling. My wife went missing for almost a year, then I met this girl that I thought was my own wife..Turns out- she's not her and that Katherine is still a conniving and manipulative bitch- living in hiding. You know, she can't even face me or call to tell me that she's alive and well. I don't even know why I still care. Maybe it's because she helped me through a lot of stuff and she was the one who told me about this place, she'd come and visit me every day. Just to make sure that I was doing okay...Who knows, at this point. I shouldn't even give a damn about her anymore. I don't even know why I still do though." Stefan explained, watching John nod in agreement, his eyes locked on to Stefan's.

"I know that you're here because deep down you want to be helped, Stefan. Well, since I've been your treatment counselor for the last few years, that's what I'm assuming." He commented, hearing Stefan inhale through gritted teeth. Part of it was true, he was there to get help. But, he also wanted to get away- everything in the house reminded him of either Elena or Katherine and Stefan felt as if he was drowning in memories of both of them. Even though, He and Elena had never really been a couple to begin with, it was still hard to be in the house because he was hollow inside, his heart hurting for the woman that he thought she was.

The memories of Katherine though were even harder to process, even more painful and Stefan was feeling everything come to a boiling point-another reason to leave his house and go back to the one place that he had once felt was comforting- his escape.

"I allowed them both to slip right through my hands...Because, I'm an idiot." Stefan said in a soft tone, focusing in on his hands that were in his lap, not really noticing that John was writing down more and more notes.