"I am someone looking for love. Real Love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't- live- without- each- other love." ~ Carrie Bradshaw
Shailene is a college student at Oxford University taking a philosophy class led by Mr. James. As they becom...
At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in you life.
Shai's POV
Rolling over, I roll right into Theo's hard- bare- chest.
"Turn it off." I mutter, referring to Theo's alarm clock that's blaring.
Theo's a somewhat heavy sleeper, so he's sleeping right through it. Me on the other hand, am not.
I groan, pushing my self over Theo to reach his alarm, slamming it off.
"This is one way to wake up." Theo mumbles, I'm still on top of him but sit up.
"Now you're up?! Your alarm was going off for at least five minutes." I exclaim, getting out of bed.
"You okay? You seem.. pissy this morning. "Theo says, and I glare at him on my way to the bathroom.
"I am not pissy. I'm just stressed." I tell him, grabbing the clothes I'm wearing today.
"What? About school?" He asks, fixing the bed, as he gets up too.
"School. And Damian." I breathe.
"Don't let that kid stress you off, he's not worth it." Theo says, picking out a suit and laying out on the bed.
"I'm not saying he's worth my stress, but he's not leaving my mind. I mean, how can he when I have to see and speak to him everyday." I say, before closing the door to shower.
>>>>
"I felt really bad the other day for leaving you hun." Chris says as we walk to class together.
"It's okay Christian, really." I say, laughing a little.
"What did he say to you anyway?" "Well I had to talk to him yesterday too, and he asked to take him back." I say, a laughter still in my voice. Because to me it's comical, the thought of getting back together with him.
"Really?! I can't believe that, I mean you broke up with him." Chris exclaims, as he reaches his class and mine is across from his.
"I know right, well I'll see you later." I say walking in and taking my seat. Seeing that Damian's already here, and in his seat--in front of me.
Taking a deep breath I ignore him the best I can, but when he turn in his seat to look at me, it get's harder.
"Shailene." He says, with a nod and a smirk.
"Damian." I respond, trying to keep an emotion out of my voice.
"So, yesterday..."
"You want an answer." I say, pulling my materials from my bag- not looking at him.
That makes his smirk grow, and even if I can't stand him, and don't want to be around him... that doesn't lessen the sexiness of his smirk. And that seriously pisses me off.
"How'd you know Woodley?"
"It's a no Damian." I tell him bluntly.
"Why?"
"Because, I thought I explained it yesterday. I'm not giving you a second chance, and I'm already with someone." I say, looking at him this time.
I get up out of my seat, knowing I still have a couple minutes before the bell to grab something from my locker.
"You always give people a second chance, what happened to me?" He asks, his eyes following me as I get up but his smirk staying as if it's permanent.
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"I know. But I already gave you one. One too many." I tell Damian and walk out.
>>>>
"What did you mean by one too many??" Damian asks, closing my locker door at the end of the day.
"God! Is there a time when you're not following me?!" I exclaim, rolling my eyes and grabbing my bag.
Damian looks at me with that same god awful smirk, the one I hate for being something I fall for when I really don't want to.
"I gave you a second chance already Damian." I say, walking through the halls with him on my heels.
"When?" He asks, clearly confused.
I stop and turn to him, we're up against the corner of the wall out of people's way.
"May 8th, it was the third year we were together. And the first day that you punched me. You slapped me in the face so hard it left a hand print! And then you punched me when I threatened to call the police." I tell him, convincing myself not to cry over this.
Damian's smirk falls and his eyes become heavy with guilt.
"I cried for hours after you finally left to go to Trevor's house. When you came home, you begged me for forgiveness. On your hands and knees, and you even cried." I add.
"I gave you a second chance that night I forgave you. All the rest... they were more than just a second chance. They were out of fear Damian, fear for my life." I cry out to him, my eyes glossed over with tears, but not allowing them to spill.
"Shailene." Damian whispers, his voice filled with an emotion I've never heard in his voice before-- I don't know what it is because it's so unlike Damian.
"If I could take back all the pain I put you through, I would. If I could take back all the things I ever said to you, or ever made you do.. I would." Damian pleads to me.
"I know you would. But there's nothing you can do about that now." I say.
"I'm sorry Shailene." Is the last thing Damian says before I walk away. Maybe it's the memories I can't take anymore and that's why I walk away. Or maybe it's just having to talk to him. I don't know, but whatever it was saved me from having a breakdown in front of him.
Sitting in the driver's seat of my car, mascara and tears falling and staining my face. The emotions I've kept trapped for years, and the tears I've hidden away finally emerge.
Turning on the radio, in hopes that it'll calm me and I can collect myself to drive home.
And I'm done hoping
That we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels,
Spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
"Don't let him do this to you." A deep voice says, and I turn my head to see Theo sitting in my passenger seat.
And, oh, I'm done thinking
You could ever change
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
"He doesn't deserve these tears of yours." Theo says, wiping away the tears with a Kleenex and his hand.
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger
Theo turns off the radio, creating a dead quiet atmosphere.
"What did he say to you?" He asks, his voice soft and concerned.
"It's not what he said. It's what I said." I whisper, wiping the last of my tears away.
Theo takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over my skin softly.
"I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry that he's here." Theo tells me, and I look at him.
I shake me head, "I just don't know what else he wants from me." I say.
