Consumed By Love (on hold)

Chapter 10>>>

"Happiness is waking up in the middle of the night, and feeling the warmness of the person you love next to you."

Theo's POV

"No! Don't!" She squeals, giggling as I hold her over my shoulder. Her fists pounding on my bare chest, and her feet kicking my back. Her smiles there though, shinning brighter than the sun out here.

"Theo.. Don't you dare!" She warns but of course I throw her in. I watch her drop, making a huge splash in the cold water. She pops back up, pushing the hair sticking to her face behind her ears.

She's still smiling and laughing though. "Get in with me." She says and I sigh dramatically. Then run and jump in, getting her more wet in the process. I swim to the top, where she meets me.

I hoist her up, leaning her against the side of the pool. She brings her legs up and wraps them around my torso. My arms holding her, and I lean in. Our lips meeting, and fireworks set off. Not real ones, but ones in our love.

I wake up to a small start. I look over at my clock and it's midnight. I look back and Shai is still passed out in my arms. She's only wearing one of my long shirt, with her undergarments. I will admit there's some temptation here, but I'm not that kind of guy.

I'm too busy in my own little world to notice Shai turning over and looking to me. "You okay?" She asks, sleep dragging in her voice. "I'm fine." I say kissing her forehead. Shai snuggles back into me, and closes her eyes- letting sleep take her once more. And soon after, it comes for me too.

>>>>>>>>>>

My eyes open and I see that it's five fifty. I get up at six, but today I know I'll run even more behind with Shai here- not meaning it in a bad way.

I feel her begin to stir, and I loosen my arms which I had wrapped around her. "Morning." I say and I can see the edges of her lips turn upward. "Morning." Shai mumbles into the pillow and I chuckle. I can already tell that she isn't a morning person.

I sit up and lean against my head board, allowing myself to wake up a bit more before getting up. Shai turns over and her eyes are open now, facing me. "Did you sleep okay?" I ask her, knowing that it was a totally different environment to sleep in than she's used to.

"Yeah." She says and something's on her mind- how could there not be.

"What's on your mind?" I question. She sighs then sits up, her shoulders lightly touching mine. She looks down at her hands that are clasped together in her lap.

"I just..." I can see the difficulty she's having written on her face. "I'm just not sure what I'm doing." Shai says and tries to hide her face from me even more.

I stay quiet for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it now? Or get ready first? "I ask, not even caring about work at the moment. But I know if I didn't go in, or if we both didn't it would look like something.

"Get ready." Shai whispers and I nod, getting out of the bed. I grab a sweatshirt, and throw it on while Shai get out of the bed too. I lead her to the spare closet I have, and show her what she'd probably fit into. She nods and thanks me, I leave to let her change.

Walking back to my own closet, I can't help but feel guilty for her feeling that way. I know it's obviously about me, and that I ruined all this. I change into my usual work clothes then go to see if Shai's ready too. But what I find instead... is worse.

Dear Theo,
I'm sorry. Truly I am.
I didn't mean to hurt you if I did, and I didn't mean to make you angry if I have.
You are a wonderful man, and thank you for welcoming me into your home. But I can't. I don't know what I'm doing with my life right now, and I don't want to lead you on further if I don't know what to do. If you thought that I lied about my feelings, well you're wrong. They were all true and honest, but I realize now that I was vulnerable. And like I said, I can't keep leading you on.
Thank you again for everything,
Shailene.

As my hands clench into fists, my right hand takes the paper with it. Crumpling it in my hand- not on purpose but by accident.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to think clearly and rationally. But where I'm at now, that's like trying to stay calm on the sinking Titanic. You can try, but it's nearly impossible.

I walk out of the closet, and out my front door. I take the stairs knowing it's faster than the elevator, and less people I'm forced to see. I run down them, my loud footsteps echoing in the stairwell. Once I get to the lobby, I run out the door, the cool morning air meeting me. I get in my car and drive. Just drive.

I reach her apartment complex, and pray she's home. I have to be running on adrenaline because by now I'd be flat out of breath. But I'm not yet.

"Shai!" I say knocking on her door. I'm trying to keep the noise down for others likely still sleeping, but I'm not good with keeping my voice down at a times like these.

"Are you looking for Shailene sir?" I hear an older man ask. I turn to see him walking up to the apartment next to Shai's. He holds a small white dog in his arms, probably coming back from a walk.

"Yes. I am." I tell him. "May I ask why?" He questions, and with the reasoning I have I know that won't go over well. So I lie.

"I'm a family friend. I know her father, and came to see her." I tell him, and then realize the mistakes in that statement. I'm trying to loosen the heaviness of my British accent.

"At this hour??" "I'm new to the time here." I say laughing to lift the seriousness and suspicion.

He nods. "I saw her while JoJo and I were out walking." He says. "She looked distressed." He adds.

"Do you happen to know where she may be at? "I ask. "I did not ask. But she did speak to me a couple days ago about her young brother." He says. "What about him?"

"He was in an accident. But that's mostly it." He says and what he's told me is very helpful.

"Thank you so much." I tell him, and run down the hallway and out of the apartment complex, back to my car. I see the time and know that I have to go to work. I know she'll probably not be in class but I can't skip teaching.

I sigh, knowing that she'll have to wait- Which is hard for me to say. I change my route and head for the university.

A small part of me is saying just to let her go. That she was never truly mine, and I can't just keep going after her. But the rest of me says to fight for her. That I can't just let her leave my life.

My heart is literally torn in two, and whichever one I choose will mean putting it back together or leaving it broken.

(A/N: I know... A lot of Theo's POV, more Shai coming...)