if you stay // m. daddario

18. Breaking Point

(I'M SO SORRY BUT THIS HAS TO HAPPEN THERE HAS TO BE A BREAKING POINT FOR MATTNIELLE AT SOME POINT SO HERE IT IS BTW I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR WEEKS BECAUSE I ALSO DONT WANT IT TO HAPPEN BUT IT HAS TO I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE)

//a few months later/matt's pov //

It's been a few months since the accident and let's just say that things haven't been so great with us during the past three weeks. It started from a stupid argument because knowing me, I'm stupid enough to assume things and get upset about those things before consulting Dani. Somehow she managed to deal with it, for a while. I've tried to not make a big deal out of some of the things I've been assuming but something in me just always gets to me and I can't control it.

"You don't have to do this," I said as I sat on Dani's bed while watching her pack all of her things.

"I have to," she said as she took a deep breath in then let it out slowly, "We start filming next week, I have to meet up with the rest of the crew and cast by the end of the week."

"No, what I'm saying is, you don't have to leave me like this. I can go with you, and while you're filming I can show you how sorry I am for letting this all happen." She looked at me before letting out a big sigh.

"I can't," she said looking down as I noticed tears running down her face, "I love you, Matt. You know I do. But I can't let you try to fix this while I'm filming. It wouldn't work that way. You have to stay here, we need a break from each other for once."

I sighed knowing that there was no hope, she wouldn't let me chase her this time, no matter what I said to convince her to let me prove her that I'm truly sorry for causing so much drama lately, "Okay, I'll do whatever you want. And if whatever you want is for me to not chase you again, I won't. I'll stay here. If that's what you want me to do." I looked up at her to see if she would fight back and tell me that she wants me to chase her like in the movies where the girl leaves and the guy runs to the airport to stop her; but Dani isn't that type of girl, I know she isn't.

"Good," she said as she turned back around at her suitcase and started packing once again. I sighed then went into our kitchen.

Why do I always have to be so stupid? Why can't I just control myself for once? I don't want Dani to leave; at least not yet. We both know that although we've been able to keep a long distance relationship whenever she has to go fly out somewhere else for a photoshoot or to film a video with one of her YouTuber friends, if we were to try to have a long distance relationship while we're not necessarily on good terms, it wouldn't work out so well because we'd most likely keep arguing and eventually just stop talking to each other. I don't want that. I don't want to stop talking to her, she's the only person I want to talk to.

"I'm going to Dom's flat to get some of my shoes and clothes that I had him keep there since we don't have a lot of storage room here, I'll be back," Dani said as I looked over at her to see she gave me a soft smile before she left our apartment. We moved in with each other about two months ago because the whole cast had to move from where we usually film Shadowhunters in Toronto to LA.

I leaned over the edge of the sink and gripped onto it as I thought about what needs to be done so that I won't be able to hurt Dani anymore. I love her, I really do but I believe that it wouldn't be right if we stay together while we're not in good terms at the moment and she's leaving for Toronto tonight.