Be My Reason (A Keaton Stromberg Fan Fiction)

Chapter 11

"Hey mom can Keaton come over today?" I ask her

"Of course, will he be coming to church?" She asks sipping her water bottle.

"Umm no, I wasn't planning on going either." I say and she gives me a nod

"You guys aren't staying here together. He will have to leave while before I do." My mom says and I nod, I already knew that. The door bell rings as I finish my yogurt, my heart practically stops. I don't know If I'm ready for this. I slowly walk to the door and open it. Keaton is standing outside, his eyes are red and swollen and his hair is messy. He is still the best looking guy I've ever seen. He's wearing a white v neck and black skinny jeans, he surprises me by tackling me with a hug.

I wrap my arms around him and take him in, his smell, the way his arms feel around me. When he pulls away he is looking at me with wide eyes,

"You look so beautiful." He says and I blush, I thank him and he nods his head.

"Hi Keaton!" My mom yells, 

"Hello Mrs. Hoss." Keaton yells back

"We're going on a walk, I have my phone on me." I yell at my mom

"Okay! Be careful!" She shouts back

Keaton and I walk outside and close the door. Me and Keaton walk in silence.

"Where are we going?" He asks me politely, I can tell he'snervous by how shaky his voice sounds.

"To the park, if that's alright?" I ask quietly, this is awkward. There is tension between us and it's obvious.

"Can we walk to the lake?" Keaton asks me, I know he's looking at me but I can't meet his gaze. I know we would have no problem walking to the lake, it's right by my house. But the memories of me and Keaton's kiss linger there and to be honest I'm nervouse we might just end up making out again.

But of course I nod and look at him, he smiles and I force a smile back. We walk in silence to the lake, when we get there we walk down to the water. There are one other group of people at the lake, I'm glad we're not completely alone. I sit down and Keaton follows after me.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." I hear Keaton say, I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my head in them. I can tell Keaton is looking at me but I can't look at him.

"You've said that before." I say, I know I sound harsh  but I want to know how he'll respond

"I know. And I mean it." Keaton said back, his voice was soft. I felt him put his head on my shoulder. It felt right to be here with Keaton, to just sit with him. 

"I need to know about your past Keaton." I say, t's been on my mind since he told me last night and I need to know more.

"Anything you want to know I'll tell you." Keaton says, and I believe him. He lifts his head off my shoulder and I raise mine to look at him.

"Can I um kiss you?"  Keaton asks shyly, I watch the pink rise in his cheeks. I giggle at him and he leans into me. His lips are familiar against mine, the fire burns in the pit of my stomach from his touch as he kisses me softly. I feel his arm snake around my waist as he slides his tongue over mine. Keaton pulls away and ends the kiss too soon, I want to kiss him again but I need him to tell me about his past. He smiles nervously at me.

"What do you want to know about my past?" Keaton sounds nervous

"How did you meet Ken?" I ask and watch as his jaw clenches at the mention of his name. Keaton's eyes immediately harden and I get worried for a second.

"I was at a party with Wesley and Drew, I was about 15 and Ken showed up. He brought weed, and we all smoked. Ken was interesting at first, he was older than me and he hung out with me all the time. I started partying a lot more, getting drunk and high every time I left the house.. That lasted for about a year, then I realized I had to get out of that life." Keaton said slowly, his voice shaky

I lean into Keaton and he looks down at me, his eyes brighten and he smiles at me. 

"What made you realize you had to get out?" I ask him and he stiffens.

"What? Nothing I just knew." Keaton looked away from me, he was lying.

I grabbed his chin and made him look down at me. His eyes were wide as I spoke

"You said you'd tell me anything. Please tell me." I say slowly and his face softens, his eyes get dim and he gulps.

"Promise your opinion on me won't change after I tell you." Keaton demands, his eyes searching mine. 

"I promise." I say and I mean it.

Keaton takes a deep breath. "When I was 16 I was at Ken's house, we were all in his room. Me, Ken, and this girl. I didn't pay any attention to her, Ken called her. We were all getting high and gettind drunk and I.. I had no idea what was going on I was high out of my mind..." Keaton pauses and licks his lips, he looks like he's deciding what to say. "Ken had the girl on his bed.. Like he had you last night." Keatons eyes meet mine and his green eyes are watering, his voice is shaking. "I was so high I thought they were just messing around, I had no idea he was actually hurting her.." Tears spill out over Keaton's cheeks, I want to wipe them away from his face but I can't, I'm frozen. "He... He raped her Rachel." He says, his voice cracking as he cries some more.

"I could have helped her, I could have saved that girl... If I wasn't such a fuck up I could've stopped him." Keaton is sobbing now, his body shaking. He puts his face in his hands. I pull them away and make him look at me, his face is wet and his eyes look dead.. 

"Keaton. You can't blame yourself for this. It is not your fault." I say slowly, his expression doesn't change.

"But it is! If I wasn't high and drunk I could have stopped him.. That girl was a virgin, he stole her virginity and he laughed about it. He showed me the bloody sheets the next day and he laughed. You want to know the worst part? I laughed with him." Keaton's voice cracks and he breaks out into sobs again "I.. I didn't know he raped her at first, I didn't remember everything until a few days later. That's when I knew I had to get out. I stopped talking to Ken." Keaton tells me and continues to cry.

I grab his face again so he was looking at me

" You can't carry this guilt around with you. You can't keep saying "If I wasn't" Keaton." I tell him and his green eyes search mine.

"When I heard you scream last night, it reminded me of the night Ken hurt that girl. And I walked in and saw him on you.. I lost it... I can not - I will not allow him or any one else to hurt you. Ever." Keaton says to me, tears continue to spill over his cheeks.

"I-" Keaton cut off my sentence by crashing his lips to mine, his kiss was desperate. I could feel how much he needed me to kiss him back, so I did. Keaton pulled away from the kiss, he kept our faces close. I could feel his heavy breath on my mouth.

"I love you Rachel."